I have never measured how many orgasms I can have in one day, but if I were to estimate I reckon my max would be hovering somewhere around double digits, but not much further than that. Ten or eleven feels like a decent achievement, but nothing I’d expect a medal for. Today’s guest blogger, however, definitely deserves a medal. When my site sponsor Hot Octopuss offered a selection of sex toys to bring people joy during lockdown, she pitched me the idea of using the Hot Octopuss AMO bullet vibrator to see how many orgasms she could have in a single day. The results are frankly so impressive that I think I need to turn over my ‘horny pervert’ card to her immediately. Please welcome @EasilyTempted, who put the AMO bullet vibe to excellent use in this epically wank-tastic guest blog.
How many orgasms can I have in one day?
I have been trying to work out how best to put my lockdown time to good use. All the ‘good vibes’ only squad are doing my head in with the competitive home schooling and sourdough baking. There’s a thought that has often flashed across my mind – I wonder how many orgasms I could have in one day if I really tried? Surely lockdown is a good time to find out.
Hot Octopuss clearly had my endeavour in mind with the AMO bullet vibrator. Small enough to not give me wrist ache and powerful enough to keep me gasping. I have a good chuckle at my husband’s confusion when the parcel arrives addressed to Mrs Banleur (French for wanker)
Seems apt that it’s a private joke though because wanking to me is private.
I don’t mean in any kind of shameful way, I just don’t see it as a joint enterprise. For me, wanking is more functional than sex – I need to come so have a quick buzz and I can move on with my day. Oh, and I am quick. I have a thing for metrics (sexy!) so have timed how long it takes me from a standing start to orgasm. It’s around 75 seconds.
What I’ve never done is record every orgasm I’ve had in a day. Until now.
I don’t know what the science is but when my husband delivers me an orgasm they are weirdly sating, so generally two and I’m done. However, when I’m wanking it’s like being at an all-you-can-eat buffet with an unlimited appetite. I’ll come, and can go again almost immediately. It’s fucking brilliant.
Every orgasm, over one day
5.40am. I wake early and fire up the bullet immediately… why not? I love how it feels rounded on one side and gently tapered on the other. I start on a low setting and slip it onto the sweet spot as I gently scroll through a rolodex of fantasies to start the day.
As a woman I have to rely on my imagination. Porn is still predominantly made for men and I have to scrape around finding and stitching together scenes that I will find hot because they’re just not made for me. The thing I find hottest is the way a man’s breath catches in his throat when he can’t quite get enough air in to cope with the desire he’s experiencing. Tiny nuances of facial expression and noises he makes as pleasure courses through him. His face as he approaches climax. That’s what I find hot. I love seeing spunk fly but mostly what I’m presented with is it landing on a girl’s face or tits. It’s one of the reasons why I often watch gay porn. More cocks, more jizz.
So I start by skimming through my memories and landing in my mind’s eye is the head of a large straining cock with my tongue starting to trace around the head with my lips and tongue. Gentle gliding. Lapping up the bead of sweetness that has appeared on the tip as an amuse bouche. That vision alone makes for orgasm number one.
I am a sensual dominant which means that I get off on your pleasure. Possibly even more than you. When I touch you I can feel it. I don’t know how but I get your pleasure and I get mine. When I stroke your skin I can feel your nerve endings. So for me my greatest pleasure is having a cock in my mouth. Because at this point you are entirely mine; I get all my oral pleasure from feeling you in my mouth and I get yours too. It’s rather greedy to be honest. So my tongue and lips continue to enjoy you and as I get closer to orgasm I search around for what will pop me over the top of the rollercoaster; I have a mixture of tableaux and short filthy scenes that run in a loop…
9am. I have come 10 times. I think this is about where I’m at as a previous record. There was a day my husband propped me over a pillow and continually licked my arsehole while I made myself come – I’m pretty sure I went to double figures that time.
11am. I have come 16 times. My cunt is tingling. I ramp up the vibes so that my clit has no choice but to start climbing again – very impressed with the engine on this bullet, it’s definitely keeping up. The fantasies that I use to tip me over start to get dirtier and I let them run free.
The day I gave permission to my imagination to have whatever it wanted was so liberating. I held back on my own thoughts for a long time because we’re all supposed to share our fantasies with our partners right? So I felt that I didn’t want to have ‘secret’ thoughts. But I’ve since realised that I don’t need to share those glimpses of depravity because the real joy of them is that I know they’re safe in a vacuum. I am happy to share things that I actually want to do but the real joy of my filthy playground is that I can be anything at all… nobody will know.
1pm. I have come 22 times. I need some extra help, so I indulge in a self-choke at the rise of an orgasm [Note to readers from GOTN, read up on the risks of erotic asphyxiation here]. Sadly, breath play is something I haven’t found a partner for – doing it to myself doesn’t quite work; an itch always feels better when scratched by someone else… but needs must. I’m flagging but also determined to take my assignment seriously so I open my legs and give my overindulged cunt a series of firm slaps and everything revives. Makes the most delicious sound too.
10.45pm. I finally have an answer to the question ‘how many orgasms can I have in one day?’
The result? I have come 28 times. The final six orgasms were far from a sprint finish: one every few hours until I finally had to admit I was spent.
I now know what my limit is. And I’ve made a new best friend.
If you want to give this orgasm challenge a go yourself, you can buy an AMO direct from Hot Octopuss for £49, $49 US, or 64 Euro. The AMO was provided to @EasilyTempted for free by Hot Octopuss, and they sponsor my website, so buying through these links directly supports my work, and helps me keep this site running (as well as helping me pay guest bloggers for kickass posts like this!)
If you want to check out some of the other cool toys Hot Octopuss sell, you may want to read this awesome adventure in which Tess tried playing Starcraft while wearing the PULSE penis vibe or this lovely orgasm-control scene in which Air gets edged to distraction with the Hot Octopuss JETT. Or read all Hot Octopuss blog posts here.