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Two things: Toni Mac on sex work and DangerousLilly on libido

Usually on Monday mornings I recommend one good thing and one bad thing that you should check out/get annoyed by, but I have found two things of such unrivalled excellence that negativity has been suspended for this week. So: two awesome things.

Scroll down for a brilliant blog post on libido and stress, and a powerful video on sex work.

The good: DangerousLilly on libido

Dangerous Lilly is a fantastic sex blogger and toy reviewer, and owner of the ever-degrading jar of cheap sex toys.

One of her latest posts really struck a chord with me – it’s all about sex blogging and libido and the effect that stress and mental health can have on your sex life.

“Thankfully I’m no longer the “sexy” sort of sex blogger who writes erotica, takes sexy photos, writes about her sex life, etc. If I were I’d have nothing to write about. If I were, the pressure I’d be putting on myself would be huge. The lower sex drive is affecting my reviewing, though, too. It’s making me less interested overall in anything that doesn’t vibrate, for one. Dildos just don’t hold as much appeal to me.”

It’s odd, when your online persona has to be (or feels like it has to be) permanently ‘on’, to hit a patch where you’d rather eat crisps and cry than have the kind of wild and exotic sex your readers expect from you. And often those expectations and stresses can feed back into how you feel – talking about it helps those who may feel worried or ‘broken’ understand that they’re not alone.

Just one of many reasons why Lilly rocks – read the full post – The sex bloggers curse: low libido

The ALSO GOOD: Toni Mac on sex work

Toni Mac, from the Sex Worker Open University, gives a brilliant overview of the different legal frameworks for sex work under debate, and puts forward a simple and powerful argument for decriminalisation.

BONUS: win a signed copy of my book

My next book comes out on Thursday! OMFG YAY. I won’t bang on about it too much here because I’ll have some cool stuff up on Thurs when it comes out and I don’t want to piss you off with too much book chat. But if you want to be in with a chance of winning a signed copy, subscribe to my blog before the end of the day on Wednesday.

1 Comment

  • Bernie says:

    Toni Mac’s talk makes me feel proud to live in New Zealand. Although we do like regulation here – no riding push bikes without helmets – its illegal. BWNZ

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