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Cock hero: the ultimate wanking video game
Usually when someone emails me and says ‘you absolutely HAVE’ to see this it falls into one of two categories:
- It’s something I’ve already seen
- It’s their cock
Occasionally, though, I get a message containing something so sexually unusual and perfectly tailored for me that I have to go for a bit of a lie-down. For about two to three clit-rubbing minutes. Today’s blog is about one of those things, and if – like me – you’re a fan of unusual nerdery and frantic cock-flogging masturbation, then you might want to start taking notes.
Today we’re going to talk about Cock Hero.
Cock Hero is like guitar hero, in that it’s a rythmn game you play, while focusing heavily on beats scrolling across the screen. It’s unlike guitar hero in that you probably don’t want to play it at parties. Here’s the deal, at a very basic level: people create compilations of porn scenes and splice them together with some music – usually cheesy beat-heavy dance. You grab your cock, turn on the video, and beat it one stroke every time the scroll bar tells you to.
Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t tell this any hotter than my friend does…
Cool sex toys for National Masturbation Month
(more…)“I have to think of something to write about wanking.”
“Isn’t everything you write basically about wanking?”
“You don’t read my blog, do you?”
“Well, you can’t really blame me. I have to talk to you every day. Anyway, why do you have to write something about wanking?”
“Because it’s National Masturbation Month.”
“A whole month? How long does it take to have a wank?!”
Random sex blog questions (and other questions)
Yesterday I told people to tweet me with any topics they wanted me to cover. The suggestions ranged from quite bizarre through really fucking bizarre to seriously interesting. I haven’t been able to tackle all of them in depth, because blimey there were a hell of a lot of them. If you’ve better answers than I have (and why wouldn’t you? I basically know nothing), then please do join in below the line. Some of these I might do more on later, because there are some really interesting topics here.
So here goes: a slightly weird meta-blog, in which we discuss everything from knickers to nearly injuring yourself during sex, and ponder the intensely philosophical question: why do most people think it’s OK to eat a pig, but not to fuck one?
Do I have a smoking fetish?
I’m pretty obnoxious and annoying sometimes. I can be far too loud in some situations, and far too quiet in others. Sometimes I sit nervously in a corner checking my phone because I’m too shy to introduce myself. At other times, I drink a couple of pints in rapid succession to calm my nerves and end up saying things I wouldn’t say if I was sober. Both of these traits, along with many others, have caused me to miss out on opportunities to get laid. But none more so than one thing: smoking.
I smoke. And I kind of want to add ‘too much’ to that, but realistically smoking at all is usually too much when seen through the eyes of a non-smoker. When I was dating, the sheer number of people who’d write ‘I can’t stand smokers’ on their dating profiles, or tick the boxes that say ‘smoking is a dealbreaker’ means my pool of potential shag buddies was severely limited.
But smoking has also helped me get laid. Not because men see me across a crowded beer garden and go ‘oh look, her who’s too pissed to light the right end: she’s the one for me’, but because for the best part of my formative years, smoking was considered cool.
Which means that I have a really fucked up relationship with smoking and sex.
Guest blog: A hot first time sex story by Gloria Brame
This week’s guest blogger is Dr Gloria Brame, and she’s got a smoking hot sex story to share. Gloria is a clinical sex therapist, a leader in radical sex theory and education, and she founded the world’s first online BDSM support group. She’s best known for her books Different Loving and The Truth About Sex, which promote evidence-based, pro-diversity perspectives on human sexuality.
Here, though, she’s sharing something raw and hot and personal, which relates to a sex story in her latest book – A Fetish for Men (Amazon US link).