Tag Archives: advice

Men are everywhere: shoot your shot

Men: they’re fucking everywhere, aren’t they? God, I had almost forgotten they existed. I used to walk down streets past men every day and barely give them a second glance, but suddenly now I am starting to notice them. Men. Everywhere. This is a post written loosely off the back of a pep talk I gave to a friend, in which I urged her: shoot your shot. (hat tip to @Oloni for introducing me to that excellent phrase)

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Better than a dick pic: what makes a photo sexy?

Remember those urban legends about parents who’d find cigarettes in their teenagers’ bedrooms and force them to smoke an entire packet to put themselves off forever? That’s how I feel about dick pics. I’ve seen so many of them that even the most beautiful dick, framed and shot by the world’s greatest photographer, does little for me now unless it’s attached to someone I already have a raging crush on. But recently someone sent me a different type of picture, far better than a dick pic. So hot that opening the file felt like a punch in the cunt.

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How to wank with a Doxy (or other wand toy)

This post has been writing itself in my head for approximately six years – ever since I got my hands on my first ever Doxy. Back then it was called a ‘Doxy Massager’ and the packaging it came in was delightfully coy, as if this toy would be used to massage anything other than one’s sexy bits. Since then it has become a bit of a sex toy sensation, and is thankfully now sold under the slogan ‘Let’s get it on’ so there is no doubt about the fact that this toy fucks. To celebrate the launch of their latest model – the first ever cordless Doxy 3 rechargeable (which is brilliant), I thought I’d finally finish the guide I’ve been writing in my head ever since I got my hands on the first one. Here’s a bunch of different ways you can wank with a Doxy.

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Guest blog: Safe words aren’t magic

Today’s guest blogger is the excellent Quenby, who can be found at QuenbyCreatives on Twitter or over on their excellent blog Queerdoconfusion. I’m especially excited about their post today because it takes a BDSM topic that is usually presented in a very simplistic manner and explores it in a lot more depth: safe words. Do you use safe words? How conscious is that choice? And are they serving the purpose that you need them to? Take it away Quenby…

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Mismatched kinks and nine year itches

How do you navigate a relationship in which you have mismatched kinks? Someone on Patreon suggested this as a blog topic recently, and not only do my partner and I not match perfectly kink-wise, I also really love fulfilling requests. I toyed with the idea of churning out some advice about relationship negotiation or communicating your needs, because when people email me with questions like this that’s exactly what I do – send them links to past blog posts about introducing kink or instruct them to go buy this excellent book which is a great jumping-off point to explore your own desires. But as I was structuring that blog post in my head, a conversation happened which made me realise I could give a far more personal answer.

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