How good are you at taking a compliment? Be honest, now: do you take them on board and ponder them until you genuinely understand what the person complimenting you means? Or do you tend to let them get filtered out through the hodgepodge of insecurities that you’ve accumulated over the years? I am rubbish at taking a compliment, but occasionally I get flashes of what the world might look like if I could properly take them on board.

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Recently the fantastic writer @CoffeeandKink was chatting on Twitter about the ethics of age gap relationships, and I asked her if she’d be up for elaborating on her ideas in a guest blog. I’m really chuffed that she said yes! As well as writing her own amazing sex blog, she’s also guest blogged for me here before about orgasm denial, and she freelances on a number of different topics. Today she’s here to explain what ethical factors should be considered in age gap relationships…

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One of the strange things about my current relationship – as opposed to any other I’ve been in – is that I’ve forgotten how to get rejected. I know, right? Poor me. Please crack out the smallest violin you own and play a concerto in ‘Woe is GOTN.’ Rejection – and specifically sexual rejection – is something I used to have a lot of practise in. I knew how to take a ‘no’, and greet it with a shrug and a cuddle. I knew how to take ‘seriously? Now? AGAIN?’ and absorb it into my thick, thick skin, so it couldn’t pierce through to the soft bit inside me that – whisper it – needed sex to feel loved.

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A quick selection of bitesize erotic stories to get you going. All of these are true. If this has whet your appetite and you’d like more sexy stories head to the erotica or audio porn sections…

Him: Do you know what was good?

Me: What?

Him: Last night, when I sat on the floor under the desk and you sat on the chair in front of it naked from the waist down. When you put your feet up on the edge of the desk and then let me eat your cunt for aaaaaages.

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Over on my guest blog page, I’ve long had an open call for blog posts that feature ‘eloquent disagreement/rebuttal of any of my own strong and angry opinions.’ Very few people ever pitch me guest blogs that involve them disagreeing with me, though: I can only assume I’m either far too scary or pretty-much-always right. So when @pervy_thoughts – who has written an excellent guest blog here before on being a nudist – dropped into my inbox to disagree with my thoughts on the word ‘filthy’, I was delighted to read him approaching the topic from a different perspective. In my original post I argued that using ‘negative’ words like ‘filthy’ to describe sex isn’t just enjoyable, it’s inevitable, because wherever there is taboo there’ll be filthy perverts like me trying to kink that taboo until it becomes hot. Fred is here to advocate for an alternative: you can write about sex without using negative terms…

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