I want you to connect with this blog post. I want that with all of them, but this one in particular. Dive in, let go, have fun. Don’t wonder where it’s going or what might happen next. I want you to connect with this story.

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This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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A lovely woman set me up on a blind date. Yes, my life is like a film now and I’m very grateful for that. How do you reckon the blind date went? For context, I can tell you that I had met this lady precisely once in my life, and during that meeting we’d spoken for less than two hours. She’s a very warm, open person though so our conversation went to fun places really quickly. We commiserated with each other about the terrible state of The Apps these days, and I told her about my dating challenges: why I’m trying to meet men in real life rather than repeatedly bang my head against the brick walls of Feeld and OKC. Three days later, this woman I barely knew texted me: I have a potential date option for you. (Yes I work fast). This magic dating fairy then went on to tell me that the guy in question was funny, sweet, asked questions and that a mutual friend of ours had approved the match. She wanted to know if I was still up for trying out the whole ‘blind date’ idea. I said what you’d expect me to say: Omg seriously?! I am SO IN. Predictions: what do you think?

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If I’m shagging you and I’m going on top, there are broadly four things you can do with your dick if you’d like to – for want of a better word – ‘join in.’ Obviously the peripheral things are infinite and always up for grabs: touching my tits, making sexy moaning noises, calling me a good girl, kissing me, yelling my name at the ceiling like you’re trying to put cracks in the plaster, etc. But when it comes to the actual fuck, there are four things you can do. Three of them are brilliant, one of them sucks, and I don’t know how to tell men I’m fucking not to try and do it.

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This gorgeous Zoom orgasm story is written and read by The Barefoot Sub, and originally appeared on her website.

An unanswered email flashed up with a “follow up?” prompt. Hanging my head in shame I clicked “dismiss”. The email request seemed simple enough in theory, but the fact remained that I didn’t have permission to ask for a meet. Not only were the lockdown restrictions firmly in place nationwide, but in the summer Sir had agreed to me having a play date, and I had failed to follow through with my promise of sexy shenanigans when the chemistry had been missing and I’d changed my mind. Now I was to wait. Wait to be instructed to find someone to fuck me.

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