There, I said it. And I apologise in advance, because usually I like to lean in to Halloween a little at this time of year – write a story in which I try to scare you. Something about zombies or werewolves or vampires or sirens luring unsuspecting humans into bringing them fresh prey. But this year, my plans for a story about sex-hungry ghosts or demonic possession went awry. Something malevolent took up residence in my brain, its claws embedded firmly in the part that deals with writing, refused to let me conjure one of those stories. So instead you get this: a pretty standard blog post about why the scent of period blood makes me really horny.

CN: this post contains blood, violence and some elements of non-consent. No men were harmed in the writing of it.

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Welcome, take a seat. You’ll find a heartfelt apology letter inside an envelope just beneath it. This is the first in what will likely be a series of ‘GOTN uses sex toys in ways they were not technically designed for, because she does not have a boyfriend.’ Today I’m gonna be taking two Godemiche grind rings – genuinely fascinating and (as far as I know) unique sex toys, and attempting to grind out an orgasm while using them in a way that I don’t think was intended, but which I enjoyed nonetheless. Let’s go.

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This delicious morning fuck is written and read by Sherryl Blu of TintedBlu.com.

My eyes pinged open and in that very moment, I knew I wanted him.

As he snoozed beside me, I let my hand gently stroke at his face until he stirred.

I leaned over and whispered in his ear: “I want you to fuck me.”

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This week’s guest blogger got in touch because he knew I had a thing for guest blogs about ‘first times‘ – first threesomes, first time going to a sex shop, first time pegging, etc. He asked if maybe I’d be interested in a last time story – about the fuck you have when you know something’s over, and you want to make one more good memory. Fuck yeah, I do. This week’s gorgeous guest blog is by Chris Avalon, about an intense, sexy and bittersweet last time fuck.

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He can’t come. Not now. It’s three in the morning and we’re both exhausted. He can’t come. But I sit on his cock anyway.

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