When I was young – maybe ten or eleven – one of my Mum’s friends gave her an entire display box of Mars bars to say thanks for a favour she’d done. Incredible, right? In case you aren’t familiar with them, Mars bars are tasty sticks of nougat with a layer of chewy caramel on top, enrobed in delicious milk chocolate. And thanks to my Mum’s friend, our family now owned an entire box of them! What?!

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I’m a big fan of penetrative sex: it’s not the only way to fuck, but it is my favourite. I understand that some people don’t want their partner to ejaculate too quickly during penetration – they want their ‘turn’ to come before any jizzing occurs. The notion of the ‘two-pump chump‘, while shamey and horrible-sounding, does nevertheless express something that’s important for some people, and I don’t want to imply that their desires here are invalid. Nor do I want to invalidate your desires if you find yourself coming really quickly during sex and desperately wishing you could last a little longer. If you’re shagging me, though? Please don’t ever worry about ‘premature ejaculation’ on my account. Two pumps is fine. Even just one, to be honest. One of the hottest things you can ever do is spunk uncontrollably into my cunt.

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Welcome, readers, to the next guest post in a series I like to call ‘GOTN abuses her guest blog budget by using it to commission loads of pieces about what it feels like to jizz, so she can live vicariously through the kind people who are willing to share their experience.’ Recently Jocket dropped by to share some super-hot tales of trying to increase semen volume. This week we have an anonymous commenter who was kind enough to respond to my shoutout for cum-based posts with some astonishingly detailed descriptions of what it feels like to ejaculate. I’m incredibly grateful, not just for the hot stuff, but for the intensely personal look into someone’s solo sex life…

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This shameless medieval cock-fest is written and read by Ariadne Awakes. Note: this story is a fantasy that contains kidnapping and implied non-consent.

“Suck.” The countless times she’d been issued this command and it still sent glorious shivers straight to her constantly aching cunt. It was the time of year the court had nicknamed ‘The Grand Suck’, where the King’s most worthy subjects had the privilege of watching their wives, daughters and sometimes mothers kneel before him and show obedience to the sceptre with which he ruled. His cock.

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Now listen up: I’ve used the phrase ‘semen volume’ in my intro and titles for this incredible guest blog, because Google Keyword Planner tells me it’s searched for more often than the any of the phrases I would naturally use to describe what we’re talking about here. But whether you’re keen to get a massive cum load, a spunk volcano, or a powerful spaff cannon, make no mistake that what we’re talking about here is jizz. Big, thick, sticky shots of it. Mmmmmmmmmm. As a curious and horny person who’s extremely obsessed with spunk, I recently asked on Twitter if anyone with a dick might be up for describing what it feels like to spunk with one. The first person willing to volunteer their experience is Jocket, who wrote this beautiful piece about skin hunger a while back. To answer my thirsty question, he’s offering a perspective on ejaculate that made me positively drool for it, namely: going on a quest to increase semen volume and achieve more intense orgasms.

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