This spiritual masturbation erotica, by author Tabitha Rayne, originally appeared on her website, and is also available in her latest erotic collection – Drenched. It is read here by the author herself.

The serpent is here again – pixelating and twinkling in my vision. It hatches in the centre, creating a blind spot then slithers to the outer periphery, lingering in a crescent moon.

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There are some things I can’t do myself, and testing out a brand new device aimed at helping people with premature ejaculation issues is, sadly, one of them. Luckily for me, CJ Brook (@CJBrook_) was on hand to step in – valiantly and eagerly agreeing to put the MyHixel TR through its paces. MyHixel is one of my newest site sponsors – they used research on premature ejaculation to create a device plus app-based training programme designed to help you delay your time to orgasm. There are two different devices – the TR (reviewed here), which focuses on climax control, and the MED which is more tailored to premature ejaculation. How does ‘climax control’ training work? Penis-owner and excellent guest blogger CJ Brook is here to tell you. You’ve met him before, in this fabulous post about cloning his dick, and this other one on butt plugs and the joy of a great hotel wank. What did he make of the MyHixel? Let’s see…

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This enema erotica, by author Tabitha Rayne, originally appeared on her website, and is also available in her latest erotic collection – Drenched. It is read here by the author herself.

Charlotte was no stranger to a douche, but that was usually in preparation for some anal mischief.

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I’ve written about the Zumio before, and it’s rare that I cover a sex toy more than once (unless it’s a sex machine or is made by Doxy or is something I’ve lovingly customised like the Fleshlight Launch… oh OK I guess I do cover lots of sex toys more than once) but this is one of the best sex toys I have ever owned, and it just came down in price – from $140 to $98, and I have three stories about the lengths I will go to if I am deprived of Zumio action which I’ve been itching to publish for a while. It’s a fun, fuckable, now slightly-more-affordable sex toy, and I am powerfully in lust with it, so let’s get stuck in: three reasons why you should buy a Zumio.

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Today’s guest blogger is Carolyn Busa – a writer/comedian who grabbed my attention with her previous incredible piece ‘I want to be fucked like latte art.’ Go check it out, because it’s fabulous, and then pop back here to read today’s funny Sex Toy Story, written from the perspective of a magic wand. I’m especially delighted to bring you wank-focused stories because it’s Masturbation Month at the moment. So read this excellent guest blog, follow Carolyn on Twitter or Instagram, and if you’re Pixar, please don’t sue.

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