I’m absolutely gleeful about today’s guest post, team! And not just because it has one of the best closing lines of any guest blog I’ve ever published, but also because the message is something we could all do with hearing. We have all been given various cultural scripts about what sex is and how we should be doing it, often feeling like we’re ‘doing sex wrong’ if things don’t happen for us the way they do for characters in porn, TV, films, and elsewhere in our cultural stories. If you’ve read my blog for any length of time you’ll know that un-learning these scripts (unpicking, unpacking, dismantling, rewriting) is a valuable thing to do in order to embrace our true desires. But how the hell does one go about doing that? Today’s fabulous guest blogger explains her search for good sex…

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This is a story about a woman having a wank. I know I’ve already told you one story about a woman having a wank, but this one’s very different. Imagine, please, a woman lying on top of the duvet on her bed, sometime around midday, curtains closed so she doesn’t shock the neighbours, rifling through her memory banks for a sexy idea that’ll help her get to a quick orgasm before she has to sit back down at her desk. She settles on something that fits the mood, so brings her fingertips to her mouth – spitting on them gently so as to start warming up her clit.

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I saw something the other day that really tickled me: a screenshot of a message from a guy on an app which promised to make a woman come ‘harder than she ever had before.’ That’s quite the promise, especially from a complete stranger. On every level it’s a silly thing to say to someone who you haven’t even met in the flesh: what if you don’t have compatible chemistry when you actually meet up? What if she struggles with anorgasmia? What if she’s never had an orgasm at all? You’re making so many assumptions, not to mention writing a sex cheque so large that you just don’t stand a hope in hell of cashing it, thus guaranteeing yourself the most awkward morning after of your entire life. The guy sending her a message has to believe not only that he’s better than any other lover she might have had (including those with whom she’d had loads of sex, and therefore loads of practice learning each other’s bodies), but also that he’s better than every single wank she’s had as well. As I say, it tickled me. But rather than write a long post about the follies of being One Of These Guys, I thought I’d have a go at illustrating by example why this is such a silly claim, because last night I had an incredibly powerful orgasm myself, and while lying in the afterglow of that formidable release it occurred to me just how many things had to align in order for such a fiercely brilliant climax to occur. Here’s how to make me come harder than I ever have before.

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This red-hot dogging erotica is written and read by Molly, of Molly’s Daily Kiss, and originally appeared on her website. 

“What about you Gina? Fancy a bit of late night dogging?”

Gina felt the heat of embarrassment flush at her cheeks as the lads continued their banter between themselves.

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One of my favourite kinds of guest blog is when somebody drops by to educate me about a type of sex that I know almost nothing about. So today’s gorgeous intro to ecosexuality, by Aaron El Sabrout (@toreachpoise on Insta and @sayyid_qishta on Mastodon), is exactly my cup of dandelion tea. Aaron is a writer, illustrator and ecosexual who is here to talk about being into fucking plants. Huge thanks to him for this beautiful overview of what ecosexuality is, the appeal of getting sexual with nature, and his thoughts on consent when it comes to plant-fucking.

Note that this piece contains depictions of literal plant-fucking, and I am not an expert in what is safe here. This is Aaron’s story, it is not advice and shouldn’t be treated as such. Plus, note that Aaron is a trans guy who is pretty comfortable with his genitals and will be using the terminology he normally uses to refer to his parts. You should not assume that all people with similar parts use the same terminology for them!

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