The phrase ‘mutual masturbation’ isn’t one of my favourites, to be honest. Something about the ‘mutual’ sounds too formal for me: it conjures images of ‘mutual societies’, and makes me feel as if I’m wanking alongside an ethical building society or the Co-op. But mutual masturbation is ridiculously fun, and I recently stumbled across a new way to do it that turned out to be hot as fuck, so I’m going to share it with you because I’m a very generous lover.
Mutual masturbation tips
Recently I wrote an article for one of my clients about mutual masturbation. It was masturbation month, so I was looking for fun, sexy things that were a bit wanking focused. In it, I gave three fun mutual masturbation tips that were a bit out of the ordinary – by which I mean ‘I hadn’t seen them written about elsewhere.’
In case you’d ever wondered how sex writers manage to come up with new sex tips, let me give you a little behind-the-scenes info. There are three main ways I ‘discover’ new sex tips:
- Rigorous testing. Sometimes I’ll include things that I have done to people before, with successful and jizz-sploding results, other times it’ll be something a partner did with me that made me melt into a puddle of sexy joy. About 70% of the sex tips I write fall into this category.
- Research. This might be friends whispering their favourite sex tips to us (something that happens frequently if you write about sex, and honestly we probably owe you royalties/a beer for your help). Or we read about them in erotic stories, or see them in porn, and feel they’re cool enough that we should totally tell the world about them. Roughly 20% of the sex tips I write fall into this category.
- Making shit up. Please do not fall off your chair with shock when you learn that sometimes sex writers make up our sex tips. Sometimes I just sit behind my computer and think ‘what might be hot?’ then when I’ve come up with something that sounds like it’d be fun, I write it down. While I’d love to try everything out with my partner first, just to fact-check my assumption that this might be hot, often he’s not around or he just isn’t interested in fucking-for-clicks right now. Please forgive me: although sometimes I can really get stuck in to a sexy plan (like with the recent eye-contact challenge), I am often very tired and life sometimes gets in the way of rigorously testing everything.
I had to get this confession out of the way before I tell you a sexy story, because this sexy story comes directly on the back of me recommending these mutual masturbation tips. One of which was entirely made up. The ‘made up’ one was all about mirror-wanking: where one of you ‘leads’, masturbating in front of their partner and touching themself in various ways, and the other ‘follows’, by copying all their movements as closely as possible on their own body.
The person who leads starts touching themselves gently, wherever feels pleasurable: nipples, genitals, stomach, thighs… Try to explore more of your body than you would during a standard wank. The follower must copy their movements, as closely as possible. The ‘leader’ should try to build to almost-an-orgasm, then pause for a second as you switch roles and let the ‘follower’ take over…
Pretty hot, right? I certainly thought so, when I made it up like a naughty liar.
Imagine my surprise when, just a week or so after I told everyone to try this, my partner tried it on me entirely by accident. The rest of this post is NSFW…
Mirror wanking: super-hot mutual masturbation
We had been fucking about with each other all day – occasionally shagging a little but never quite letting him orgasm, masturbating in front of each other, and generally touching and snogging in the way we only ever really do once a month or so when we remember that we’re grown-ups and no one’s going to walk in on us wanking in the lounge.
So we were both quite horny.
He’d already informed me that earlier on that day, when we stood up and masturbated at each other in the living room, that watching me wank standing up was ‘just the hottest fucking thing. You look so fucking powerful’, so I was looking out for more opportunities to wank in front of him. Showing off my power and my cunt.
So later that day, when we were both naked after a bath, sitting cross-legged opposite each other, I gave it a go. Rubbing my clit with one hand while keeping a close and eager eye on his cock, watching it slowly fill with blood and twitch as it thickened and lengthened and took on a satifying heft. He grabbed it with his hand, and started rubbing it too. Slowly at first, and then faster, drinking in the sight of my own busy fingers working away at my wet clit.
It was hot.
What was hotter, though, was that after a short while I did what I normally do when I wank: I reached up with my free hand to start pinching my nipples. Something about nipple-pinching helps to push me closer to the edge, and when he’s there it has the added bonus of drawing his attention to more of my body – inviting him to look closer at whatever he likes, scrutinising the way my tits jiggle at the movement of my arm and how my nipples will go tight and hard, perfect for grabbing and biting.
His eyes narrowed, he gripped his dick tighter, then he reached for his own nipple too!
Was he mirroring me? There was only one way to find out… I kept my free hand on one nipple, squeezing hard because that just felt too good to stop, then with the other hand I slowed right down. Instead of rubbing my clit at lightning speed the way I usually do, I took a breath and slowed the strokes. Teasing, gently, instead of gunning for an orgasm.
And he slowed down too. Teasing his dick with gentle, calm strokes the way I was doing with my clit, eyes narrowed as if he was annoyed that I wanted to slow down.
I moved my left hand to the other nipple, and he did too – matching me in every movement, as if trying to experience what I was feeling, as closely as possible. He stared intensely at my hands and tits and cunt, carefully measuring exactly what he was supposed to do next and assessing every twitch and rub and touch I gave myself. It was amazing.
And it was, yes, powerful. I felt an immense sense of control over him: his pleasure would be dictated by mine. He’d experience exactly what I was feeling – no more, no less. Watching him wank is one of my favourite things, but this was wanking in an entirely different category: I was the puppetmaster, in control of every sensation for both of us. I could build him up to a shuddering climax without ever laying a hand on him, or I could build him and edge him into a state of moaning frustration just by removing my hand from my own clit at the perfect time. He’d pinch his nipples if I wanted him to, slap his own face if I did it first, stick a finger inside himself if I licked mine and stuck it inside me… The only limits were my own imagination, and what I was willing to do to myself.
The best part of all was that at no point did I ever have to say anything. I gave him no orders, made no requests. Hell, I hadn’t even told him to mirror me in the first place. He’d just taken inspiration from the way I was wanking, and decided that copying me might be a fun idea. It’s not that we didn’t communicate while we did this, it’s just that mirroring each other involved such simple, physical communication that words didn’t really seem necessary.
So next time I’m making up sex tips, I’m going to remember this episode: how hot it was to feel as if my hands were controlling him, and the power I felt in using my body as a proxy for his. And above all I’ll remember that making up sex tips isn’t necessarily something to be ashamed of: after all, isn’t every adventurous shag potential research for a future sex tips article? Maybe my sex toys and bondage equipment are tax deductible after all…