Hi, sorry, excuse me, yeah sorry to bother you. It’s just I’ve been thinking quite a lot lately about all the different ways to cum at the end of a wank, and I thought/hoped you might be interested in this list. I have ranked all the possible spaff-styles in order of how hot they are for me to see/imagine. Before I begin, it’s important to note that every single one of these methods is hot: the baseline here is not ‘not hot’, the baseline is ‘let me watch you do it and my cunt will gush,’ but for what it’s worth, here they are in order.
Into a sock
Functional, deliberate, kinda scuzzy: A+
Into a tissue
Likewise with the functional, though this time we’re turning up the dial on ‘deliberate’ towards ‘measured’ and ‘controlled’ in a way that, frankly, is a kink in and of itself.
I once watched a dude perform the perfect Platonic ideal of post-wank tissue-jizzing, and I still think about it quite frequently to this day. He got up partway through an extremely vigorous and visually-pleasing wank – with a raging, twitching, red-tinged boner – and go get tissues which he then neatly folded into a perfect square before returning to beating at his cock.
A++, gimme.
Into a cum rag
You… own a specific rag (or rags) specifically to cum in at the end of a wank? This piece of cloth is something you have selected (or purchased?!) specifically for this purpose, and hidden in a drawer by your computer/bed so it’s ready for use whenever you are horny? Unngh. You, my friend, are saving the planet and also melting my knickers.
A+++, gold star.
Up the inside of your t-shirt
You dirty fucker, you. Can’t be bothered to get a tissue/cum rag, so you just point your dick up inside your t-shirt and spaff all over your chest? Filthy. Disgraceful.
Help yourself to twelve gold stars and a chocolate chip cookie.
Inside your pants
Much like ‘t-shirt’ above, just tucking the tip of your dick inside your underwear so you can spunk inside it is the epitome of filth. In this case, though, it’s made even hotter by the fact that… God I don’t know if I can type this without wanking… when you come inside your pants… unngh… the spunk squirts right against the fabric and makes a big wet patch.
Hotter than hellfire, have a medal.
All over your stomach and chest
As the good song says: LET IT GO. Everywhere. All over yourself. Just let rip, go on: splatter yourself in cum. Now take a bow, you have achieved something so hot that I can only ever commit to watching someone do it in real life if my sex toys are easily to hand so I can run off for a wank of my own.
Spraying everywhere including your own face
You’re a dirty slut. And hey, so am I!
Have a high five, you filthy fucker.
Deliberately trying to spray it into your own mouth
Tastes good, doesn’t it? Fuck yeah. The power with which you spray it and the surprised/delighted/slightly-ashamed-but-in-a-hot-way look you might get if a bit lands in your eye and you feel like one of those bukakke heroes you were just watching in porn… oh yeah. Well done.
This is one of the most difficult ways to cum on this list, so if you’ve managed to actually accomplish it, drop me an email and let me know where your nearest high street is, so I can dispatch the marching band.
Hands-free (with a sex toy)
I swear on my life this is true: I knew a gentleman who once managed to come while just wearing the Hot Octopuss PULSE on his dick. Pulse on dick, pants and jeans on over the top, he turned it on and stood in the middle of his living room casually watching porn. After a mere couple of minutes he came in his pants – and I quote – “like a fucking teenager.”
When he (who is in his thirties, and not used to spaffing this eagerly) told me this story, I was so hot-brain focused on the mental image of him pumping jizz inside his underwear that for a couple of seconds I think I lost the power of sight.
Do this and you win every prize on the raffle stall at the village fête, plus a handshake from the Mayor.
Hands-free (without a sex toy, just twitching it, I swear I saw someone doing this on cam once)
This has… stayed with me. Just someone filming themselves doing their party trick: the camera framed their dick resting hard and red against their stomach, then they used their pelvic floor muscles to twitch it so the head rubbed ever-so-slightly against the soft soft skin of their tummy. After ten or fifteen minutes (I skipped forward, it wasn’t live, and I’m a busy girl), the cock started not just squirting but fully pumping cum. In great sticky rivers.
If you can do this/have done this, you win a trophy and (if you’d like it) my hand in marriage.
Into an object or device that you have specifically homemade for wanking purposes
Health and safety first: obviously you are far better off buying a sex toy that is specifically designed for you to put your cock in (I recommend the Pulse, as above, or anything by Tenga and a bunch of other stuff on this page). But. BUT. If you know how to make your own wank sheath out of condoms, loo roll and sticky-back plastic, then the very fact that you have gone to unnecessary levels of effort in order to get off is close to the top of the leaderboard when we’re talking about hot spaff action.
So yeah. Penultimate on this list of sexy ways to cum: into an object or device that you have spent time and effort constructing, for the sole purpose of spunking inside it. This could be something as simple as a Fleshlight jammed between the sofa cushions, or as complex as anything involving a 3D printer. The hotness comes from the purpose. The goal. The effort you’ve been willing to put in to constructing something just to make your dick feel good.
And although the act of masturbating with this object makes you feel seedy and ashamed… as your strokes get faster and harder and you start to pump cum… suddenly you realise… God!… this is so much better than you’d ever imagined when you packed that Pringles tube with Turkish delight! It’s so wrong but so right, so good. So! Fucking! Good!
For this one, you need no medal: your victory is reward enough.
Inside a sex toy
The Grand Finale here is the one that combines absolutely loads of the hot things above (pushing deep into something to jizz, deliberation, making a specific purchase and going to noticeable effort to make your wank feel super-fucking-good), plus an extra… something. If I’m honest with you, this is genuinely a sprinkle of je ne sais quois.
All I know is that on a statistically significant number of occasions, when I have been lucky enough to watch someone squirt their cum inside a Fleshlight or a Tenga, they’ve made this… face. Like… eyebrows slightly turned down at the outside, teeny frown line in the middle of the forehead, mouth open a bit to let out a sigh that hovers somewhere between frustration and satisfaction… followed by a glance down at the object they’ve just jizzed inside that is equal parts pity and respect.
I’m just saying… that? That’s hot on so many levels there are not yet words in English that can adequately capture what it is.
For this, help yourself to nothing less than a Nobel Peace Prize.
If you liked this, you might also enjoy this piece I wrote LONG LONG AGO about where to jizz at the end of a fuck. That list could do with expansion, I think. Also I promise I didn’t deliberately write this to try and make you buy wank sheaths, but if you happen to be in the market for some, there are recommendations on my sex toy page. Support my site, so I can keep the vital service that is ‘horny woman talks about spunk on the Internet’ running.
35 Comments
Without going into it too much I’ve had some proper bad brain stuff going on lately, and this post is the first thing in a long while that’s made me feel hot and sexy and all that good stuff.
Also reminded me of the time I came so hard with the JETT that I sprayed the wall behind me!
Ah mate I’m so sorry to hear about the brain stuff. But at the entire other end of the spectrum I am fucking OVERJOYED to hear about the JETT thing. My ex didn’t get on with it that well as he wasn’t that keen on dick vibes at the time, but I have always always always wanted to make someone spaff with a JETT and see the spunk fly in epic quantities/directions.
The Japanese engineers and inventors from Tenga are themselves truly more deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize than I – but a humble user of their world-changing inventions.
[note to self: stop procrastinating and finally write (and pitch) a story of how you first used a Tenga toy and how that was an absolute epiphany.]
OMG yes please, that sounds like a fucking great story! And yeah, good point – those heroes deserve a lot of credit. If it helps at all, whenever I’m at a trade show (which admittedly hasn’t been much recently cos of Covid) I do always make a point of going over to them and cooing over all their kickass toys.
It isn’t a competition, it isn’t a competition, it isn’t a competition, everyone hates one-upmanship and boasters.
BUT!
Stating the bloody obvious, much as some people with vaginas like using two sex toys at once, so do some people with cocks. I raise “hands-free (with a sex toy)” to “hands-free (with two sex toys)”: a Hot Octopuss Pulse and an Aneros prostate massager. It’s not without problems but the two times I got it to work were the two best solo orgasms I’ve ever had. Would you welcome a pitch for a guest post?
Spraying over your face wasn’t all that difficult when I used to be flexible a couple of decades ago. Lie on your back with your lets pointing upwards resting against a wall. At just the right moment, brace your feet against the wall, push your body away from the wall with your knees, roll up onto your shoulders and you’re all lined up. Bonus silliness points for embracing the ridiculousness and turning it into an awkward backward roll once you’re done.
Oooh yes please! To be honest I deliberately ignored butt stuff in this post because I worried that would make it far far too long, but hell yes please I would love a guest post about that – pitch info here: https://www.girlonthenet.com/guest-blogs
Also, honestly, the backward roll thing is completely adorable =)
I had great fun reading this, mentally ticking each off as I went along. I have a few Hot Octopus toys and they are all great.
However, now I want to go and revisit a few ‘oldies’ – a sock or t shirt. I haven’t done those in forever.
I accidentally came in my mouth when managing to death grip my cock just before cumming, then releasing and releasing! I doubt I could do it on purpose!!!
I got caught out once after edging for a while with nothing handy to cum into, and I wasn’t somewhere I could just let it spray. I just pushed it that bit too far, and knew straight away I was past the point of no return, so thinking fast I pinched the end of my foreskin and watched my cock head expand to twice its normal size as it filled with cum. Followed by a tentative, pants-round-the-ankles shuffle along the hall to release it into the toilet.
I was particularly glad to be uncircumcised that day!
Towards the more complicated end of the wank spectrum (and it doesn’t give the visual satisfaction of spurting), but one of my favourite ways to come is with a sounding rod.
As my urethra is blocked, my come doesn’t really have anywhere to go. A few liquid dribbles escape as the pressure is at its highest, but the rest of my come stays where it is … until the rod comes out, coated with a mixture of come and lube, the metal still warm from my body. Delicious. The rest oozes out slowly, onto my hand and my belly, all urgency dissolved in the post orgasmic haze.
I loved your list. You inspired me to add a couple of my own that are related to each other. These are not only hot for my girl, but also hot for me. In fact, I feel the pressure building in my pants as I begin typing up these few brief memory morsels. I will say that I love performing a good wank for my girl while I’m self absorbed in my own self pleasure.
1) Lying on the bed next to each other with her pleasuring herself while I go to town on myself. My little cum slut watching with more intensity as she senses I’m nearing the point of no return. Feverishly stroking my lubed up cock, I aim it in her direction as guttural groans parts my lips. Thick ropes of my spunk spew forth, and she watches it arcing through the air like incoming mortar fire headed in her direction. Globs of cum splatter on her stomach, tits, and face as I relieve my built up tension. Rolling to my side, I lick up the jizz that is beginning to run down her tits, and share it with her in a deep, passionate kiss. She’s soooo turned on, and her fingers busily work at her clit with a renewed purpose. I whisper in her ear that I couldn’t deny my good little cum whore a taste. It pushes her right over the edge, and she busts into her own lusty orgasm. I lie back, self satisfied while glowing in the fact my dirty act made her get off.
2) This time, only I’m lying on the bed working my thick, rock hard meat. She watches from the end of the bed, occasionally assisting with words of encouragement. “That’s it! Stroke that needy cock for me.” As the inevitable approaches, she gets on her knees between my legs. From her now extreme front row view, she tells me she wants me to aim for her warm open mouth. With eyes fixed with an almost cross-eyed gaze on my cock, her mouth opens and that hot, pink tongue extends forth to receive my load. (Fuck, she knows how to push my kink buttons at just the right time. Except that she’s actually doing this for herself.) Now jerking off at a feverish pace, I shoot my load as best as possible into her waiting mouth. She loves the close up view of my cum explosion. As my spurts subside, my hand still gently tugs at my dick, enjoying the lingering orgasmic tremors. My hand forming a cup around the head of my twitching cock, my cum is pooled up inside. She leans forward and slurps out the accumulation of jizz. Without so much of a pause, she slinks up my body, and kisses me. The taste of my cum running into my mouth is such a filthy turn on. Then she says, “I thought you’d like to see what it’s like to get fed cum from a kiss as well.”
I’ve never managed to hit my own face, even when masturbating lying on my back (where the jizz flies further than if one is sitting upright; something to do with inertia or gravity or physics: I don’t know, I’m not a scientist). I have, however, generally managed to hit my stomach and occasionally my chest.
Sometimes then going to clean it up, but sometimes just lying there covered in my own cum feeling it drip down my sides.
On particularly spectacular occasions, I’ve managed to get some on my neck, and on one, which I remember vividly, all of it hit my throat, basically giving myself a pearl necklace.
I almost took a picture, but I was so shaky afterwards that I couldn’t reach my ‘phone.
“sometimes just lying there covered in my own cum” – THIS! I cannot believe I did not spend more time luxuriating on this in the blog post. The idea that someone is just lying there covered in their own cum is outrageously, painfully, searingly hot. Love it. Thank you for joining in ILB – I am so delighted by the extreme hotness that everyone’s bringing to the spunk-splattered table in this post =)
Socks. Goshdarnit, why have I never thought of socks before?! Thank you, GOTN.
I used to use the tissue paper method for both practicality of containment and clean up, and for A++ score – obviously. Wrapping the paper around like a tube then pinching and twisting the end shut like a sweet wrapper. Definite personal favourite technique.
However.
Once upon a time, through a liberal application of over enthusiasm, and being at it for probably an hour, the end became soaked in pre-cum. Shot number one burst through it onto my shirt, two and three (and I forget the order) hit me in the face and went over my shoulder onto the wall behind me, the rest falling on my shirt again.
A++, and a high five, but what do I get for hitting the wall behind me?
OMG, that is incredible. And combines some of the beauty of the ‘inside underwear’ spunk-spreading with the power and passion of spaffing all over oneself. For this, I think you win your pick of the weirdly large teddy bears that only seem to be available from funfairs – whichever one you like, as long as you can carry it home =)
Late here, but just had to comment that reading this one (and better yet, the comments above) a couple of nights ago clearly worked for me… since later that night, I managed to give myself a facial for the first time. :) Didn’t even have my legs up the wall as someone suggested; just lying on my back, head tilted forward slightly. Previously only ever managed to hit neck, shoulders, chin, and the pillow behind me. Guess I was just really turned on that time…
Unlike one of the commenters above, I *did* immediately get my phone and take a picture… just wish I’d been filming it instead! :) (Capturing your own ejaculation on camera, as I and doubtless many others have discovered, is trickier than porn sites make it look…)
That’s incredible! Also yes I can’t imagine how tricky it must be to capture it on camera without a stand or something. It’s mind-blowingly hot though. Shortly after iPhone cameras got a ‘slow mo’ function, my ex captured a slow mo video of an end-of-wank jizz and it was beyond phenomenal.
The detail of you immediately reaching for your camera is, and I can’t stress this enough: brilliant. Thank you so much for contributing to this, what I think might turn out to be my Most Wanked To comments section.
Definitely got myself in the eye before and while it looked slutty, it was also a bit painful lol
Every now and again though, the urge to self-facial is too much.
I’m also a fan of edging into my hand so that I can taste as much pre-cum as possible first.
You could also add nickers from girlfriend/Wife’s draw
For softness a neck buff is better than a sock etc. Otherwise favourite was always in the bath. My ex used to save a pee till she was bursting, while I wanked, on the point of coming for up to an hour. When she couldn’t hold it any longer she would sit on the edge of the bath and direct a stream of piss at my cock. Cum and pee would mix on my belly.
Related: we keep a dick rag or ‘the towel’ (which he definitely purchased especially for this) by the bed to wipe up semen either off of me or him depending on where he drops his load. And one day, his roommate was being goofy and lay on our bed and grabbed the rag and put it on his face. He saw our look of horror and said ‘what, is this your dick rag?’ Yes, yes my friend it is.
Oh god nooooooooooooooo =) When oh when will people learn that grabbing random shit in people’s bedrooms is NEVER a good idea!!
Last week I masturbated in front of my wife, not new, but I used vibrating anal beads this time for the first time, which WAS new. I usually finish inside a tissue but that wasn’t an option this time, it went EVERYWHERE. My chest, stomach, even my neck and shoulders. It felt amazing and my wife seemed to find it entertaining but I felt kind of gross and embarrassed afterwards.
I don’t know if this helps at all, but I find that so hot I am going to have a big old think about it later this evening. Incredible.
It kinda does actually lol
I grew a lockdown beard. A few weeks back I was having a delicious luxury midday wank while working from home – filthy porn on phone, butt plug up arse, the lot. I managed to come so hard I got spunk IN MY BEARD. It was hilarious (if a bit messy). 10/10, can recommend
My wife gives me her knickers for my daily morning wank, sometimes I wear them, other times wrap them around my cock. She doesn’t own a pair of knickers that I haven’t filled with spunk, and she knows it.
Sexiest for me is when my (female) wank partner hands me some tissues for me to clean myself up with.after I have come while we have been wanking together. It is the matter-of-fact practicality of it that gets me. We both love wanking and we love watching each other.
This one made me laugh out loud, headphones on in my workshop.
The award levels etc brilliant.
Well I was wondering if there was an award for clamping a Fleshlight in my Black & Decker Workmate!.
Only dropping two legs of the four so it’s cocked up at the perfect angle, standing on the footplate and shagging the fuck out of it!. Extra lube of course!.
To top it all it was a hot day in the back of my van!!!
This feels like a confession as I didn’t realise other people got so involved in wank Olympics!.
This was already incredibly hot, then you mentioned the van and I came =)
Really!.
I smirk to myself when I think of that session. Part guilt and what the fuck!.
It’s the workmate creeking in the background and trying not to make the vans soft springs bounce up and down to much. But boy what a cum it was, tightening up the air valve once the fizzing in my balls and shaft start. Once all the air is pushed out it starts to suck and suck then boom mouth open, boss eyed a whispered yeeeesssss or sluuuuut!.
That was probably the best of the few times I did it the back of the van.
I came 5 times while listening to this. Very heavily.
I feel there’s a terrible omission from this otherwise delightful list. Where’s “hurriedly shoving it inside a willing mouth, cunt or arse because you’d rather not have to clean up”?
I saw a *really* sexy pair of underpants online that I would *rock*… if they made it in my size.
They don’t.
I bought it anyway and use it for spunking off into, which I think is a good compromise.