A while ago I asked people to teach me how to feel compersion. I wanted to get my head around the idea of my partner being with other people, and build on the happy/horny feelings that sometimes sparked, without triggering a whole world of jealousy and insecurity. So massive thanks to this week’s guest blogger, the fabulous non-monogamous Amy of CoffeeAndKink (@CoffeeAndKink), for submitting such a gorgeous, personal explanation of what it’s like for her, and how to cultivate compersion in relationships.
Picture the scene: you’re lying in bed on a Sunday morning, having a coffee and a croissant with your beau or beaus. The doorbell rings, and in walks Louis Theroux. “Can I get you anything?” he asks, as you grin to cover the weird atmosphere and desperately wish you’d had the opportunity to brush your hair or put some fresh knickers on. “Tea? More coffee?” Slightly-too-long pause. “And tell me…” he continues, in his lovably awkward way “Tell me – are you happy?”
Today’s guest blog pressed a lot of my buttons – and not the ones that are normally pressed when someone tells me a horny thing. As a mostly-monogamous, keen-to-be-more-open person, I have struggled a lot with my internal double-standard. My ideal relationship consists of one guy I love very much, who gets off on letting me fuck other men. Fucking other men is, it seems, something I truly want to do. Hearing about him fuck other women? Not so much.
Today’s guest blogger is Sir, who tweets with his partner Subbie @SirandSubbie on Twitter. He wants to talk to you about Subbie fucking other men, and I’m grateful not just because he’s sharing some pretty raw, emotional stuff, but because he’s managed to sum up quite a lot of my feelings (both rational and irrational) about this very thing…