A few years ago I went to a PR launch for a sex thing. Alongside the free champagne (woo!) there was a discussion about ‘obligation sex’ – whether you should make yourself shag sometimes even when you’re not in the mood, to keep the spark alive in your relationship. A sex blogger who I respected a lot was there (she, along with the free champagne, was what tempted me out of the house), and during the discussion she argued that you should have obligation sex. That making yourself shag could be the glue that held your relationship together even when other things were falling apart. I remember being shocked by her answer, because my gut instinct was to disagree. But I really liked her, and there’d been a lot of free champagne, so all I left with was a fuzzy head and a vague feeling that ‘obligation sex’ didn’t sound like much fun at all.

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It’s that time again! I’m welcoming back Luke – aka @Beardynoise – to deliver the third instalment of the Wankonomicon. In volume 1 of the Wankonomicon he detailed danger wanks, business wanks and procrasturbation. Volume II covered luxury wanks and more. Today, Luke is taking an in-depth look at one of my personal faves – the bedtime wank – alongside workplace wanks and exorcism wanks. Enjoy! 

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Last Sunday’s instalment of ‘sex blogger life’, in which I was watching my boyfriend masturbate to porn and trying not to move, ended on not-quite-a-cliffhanger. Me, dripping with horn, sitting on an office chair in the corner of the room while my boyfriend did his best to pretend I wasn’t watching as he beat one out to an especially hot porn video. Today we’re going to pick up where I left off, just as he declares that it’s time for a break in the proceedings…

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The fuckstick makes him feel powerful, he tells me. A fuckstick, in case you were wondering, is quite literally a dildo on a stick – a fat blue silicone cock moulded, in this case, onto just over a metre of solid wooden handle, with a leather grip at the other end. Thanks to my site sponsors Godemiche for sending me this wand of wonder. It’s a sex toy that invites dominance. It oozes power. The very act of holding it makes his lip curl upwards in a dominant sneer, and allows him the confidence to issue me strict instructions: “Bend over.”

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Please welcome back sex toy correspondent Luke aka @Beardynoise! A man who is on a quest to catalogue all possible types of wank spanning the entire human experience. After the roaring success of volume 1 of his Wankonomicon at the start of the month, he is back to give you more detail on new and different types of wank, as well as recommendations for excellent sex toys to use for each one. Today: the co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank… 

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