Girl on the Net

I love audio porn, but I’m a very fidgety and anxious person. So when I listened to erotica that began with guided meditation, I was worried I might not make it past the first five minutes. But can I get over my anxiety if there’s erotic joy at the end of it? Here’s what happened when I tried experiential erotica…

I would rather someone told me a sexy story than sent me a nude. There, I said it. While naked bodies are certainly beautiful, and I adore looking at a perfectly-crafted dick pic, I would much prefer hearing someone spin me a sexy yarn than dump a load of pixels in my inbox.

So when it comes to porn, I’m a big fan of porn that uses words – written erotica, audio porn, or even just videos that are scripted or performed with a real focus on the things people say while they bang each other. I love it. One of the things I hadn’t experienced until recently, though, is experiential erotica – written in the first person, experiential erotica aims to guide you through an almost meditative journey on the path to sexual pleasure. Today I’m going to talk about Wylde Desires – my newest site sponsor and creator of this exact thing.

Before I begin let’s do the quick bit of admin about sponsorship so you know where we stand: I write about site sponsors because they support my work at this site, and I only pick sponsors I think are creating good stuff. I don’t like writing reviews, so I’m not going to give anyone marks out of 10, but this piece is an opportunity for me to give you a more thorough intro to Wylde Desires than you’ll get just from looking at the ads, and decide if you’d like to try experiential erotica for yourself. If you like the sound of it, head to the website and try out a couple of free audio stories to get a feel for how they work.

What is experiential erotica, and why would an anxious person try it?

Experiential erotica is erotica that guides you – in first person – through a particular scenario or fantasy. On Wylde Desires, you pick your story, lie down somewhere comfortable with your headphones in, close your eyes and follow the instructions on the recording.

I am not usually the sort of person who can lie still for 30 full minutes and listen to audio porn. I tend to do things quickly, filthily, and in less than 5 minutes. What’s more, the recordings are quite similar to hypnosis and use certain hypnosis techniques, which I am also a very bad guinea pig for. Once, a long time ago, someone attempted to hypnotise me to get me to give up smoking, but I was so sceptical/incapable of relaxing that I ended up just having to pretend it worked. I smiled at the end the way you grin at a hairdresser who’s fucked up your barnet, then I paid the money anyway and left with guilt-induced cigarette cravings far stronger than I’d had walking in.

On top of this, my anxiety means that in the past I have done very badly in guided meditation scenarios – even audio ones like those on Compassionate Mind. My reactions to being told to close my eyes and breathe deeply have ranged from silent tears to the occasional actual panic attack.

Given all this, I opened the Wylde Desires site in a state of mild worry – would it be possible to even complete a thirty-minute recording, let alone enjoy it? Luckily, in mental tussles between my inner pervert and my inner Stressed Eric, my inner pervert usually wins. Thanks to my aforementioned love of sexy words and stories, I am able to leap even an anxiety-triggering hurdle like guided meditation if the goal of the meditation is to make me have an orgasm.

Choosing audio erotica

I listened to two of the recordings: one which is a guided ‘tantric’ orgasm, focused predominantly on physical and mental sensations, and the other which was more of a story. It guided me into a peaceful state of relaxation, then made me imagine myself on a journey through a beautiful forest that ended in some hot fireside sex with a pair of magical shadow sprites.

Or, in summary: a gentle mental wank then a fantasy about getting fucked by two cocks at once.

No prizes for guessing which one I enjoyed the most.

My first test of success – a low bar, I know – was ‘can I actually even listen to this all the way through without fidgeting?’ I’m quite surprised and ridiculously pleased to be able to say that I did. Maybe all that therapy I had last year worked wonders, or perhaps it was the fact that having a calming, gravelly voice talk me through all the distractions and encourage me to ignore them was much more helpful than previous tapes I’ve listened to. Perhaps – and I’m leaning towards this as the most likely scenario, to be honest – my inner pervert is working its magic and allowing me to enjoy relaxation if I know there’ll be sex at the end of it.

Erotic mindfulness

The tantric orgasm recording was gentle – really gentle. Soft and calming and purely focused on the physical sensations. You’re asked to imagine yourself getting heavier, falling more deeply into relaxation, and then focusing on specific parts of your body and sensations that you might be feeling. That part I absolutely nailed: I could genuinely picture – and feel subsequent tingles in – the parts of my body where I was invited to feel a ball of energy buzzing around. Being mindful and present can make you more aware of tonnes of different sensations, and focusing on one in particular can help you to actually feel that sensation. A bit like when you have a headache and you visualise the white-hot ball of pain gradually shrinking, sometimes that ball will actually shrink as you picture it (well, it does for me, at any rate – maybe I’m a wizard).

But the peaceful tantric recording felt a little too focused on me physically. I can see how it would work beautifully for some people, but I had a lot more fun with the story-based one. In the story one, you begin by doing similar meditation exercises to relax you, and then you have to imagine yourself walking through a field, a forest, and eventually towards a fire that you find somewhere deep in the woods. The way I’ve summed it up there makes it sound a bit scary, but it isn’t – it’s quite calming and peaceful.

Then things build up from calming and peaceful to supernaturally hot. Literally, supernaturally hot. You’re guided through a fuck the same way you’ve been guided through the woods, except the sounds and voices get faster and more intense as you listen, and at a certain point it feels like you’re surrounded by sound – echoes of voices and sex and crackling fires and drumbeats and sensations that you’re not entirely sure whether you’re experiencing in your head or your body.

This story was exactly my cup of tea – an MMF threesome in which I got to be fucked in various intense ways. It did exactly what I want hoped it might do, which is allow me to live scenes that I could never experience in the boring real world I exist in right here. That it was being whispered directly into my ear made it more immersive, and that it was a vigorous, almost aggressive shag helped even more. There are gentler stories on the site, of course, but this one I picked because from the synopsis it seemed closest to my own fantasies.

It relies on you being able to lean in to the experience – to shut out everything else around you, embrace some of the quite odd things you’ll be asked to imagine, and let the experience wash over you. I fell down in certain places, especially at the beginning where I felt a little ridiculous, found certain words jarring or got distracted by noises outside, but I ended the supernatural story feeling genuinely turned on, and intensely delighted by the fact that anxious, panicky, un-hypnotisable me had managed to spend a full half-hour lying still and immersing myself in the story.

I didn’t orgasm – at least not until two minutes afterwards when I pulled out my Zumio and finished myself off – but then I didn’t expect to. I did a thing that was a big step outside of my comfort zone, and the best I’d been expecting was that I might find it interesting. That I managed to actually get turned on, and enjoy being the centre of the story, should hopefully give you an idea of just how thoroughly even an anxious twat like me can manage to get immersed in experiential erotica.

The only other thing I should flag before I nudge you try it out is that although there are plans to release some other types of erotica – including gay erotica, woo! – in future, at the moment all the stories on the site use physical descriptions and language used relate directly to vaginas/clitorises, so if this is likely to make it difficult for you to get immersed then I wouldn’t recommend it for you just yet – keep an eye out for updates in future! However, if you’re still intrigued, I don’t think you necessarily need to have these genitals in order to enjoy it – after all, I’ve spent many happy times watching gay porn on VR and imagining that I have a cock, and I imagine that thanks to the hypnosis/immersion element of these recordings, similar interesting body-swap fun could also be had by many.

If you’d like to try it for yourself, head to Wylde Desires to listen to a couple of stories for free, and sign up (also free) to get access to more each month. You can also check out the videos on YouTube.