Cum tributes: Please please please wank to my porn

Image by the fabulous Stuart F Taylor

Let me make myself crystal clear: I write porn so you can wank to it. I don’t expect all of you to do that, of course, but I know that some of you will, and that knowledge makes me ridiculously happy. I would be even happier if you chose to print some out and spaff all over it. Let’s talk about cum tributes…

Recently I did an interview for a podcast about audio porn, and during the chat I was asked about my audience demographics. The interviewers were surprised to learn that more men visit my site than women (65% men 35% women at the moment, fact-fans*), because they had assumed from much of what they’d read about erotica and audio porn that it was generally aimed at women. When they found out about my demographics, one of the people on the chat asked how I felt about men enjoying my work. Read: am I OK with men wanking over my work?

Dear reader, let me be absolutely clear on two points. Point the first: my porn isn’t aimed at any particular gender, and if you asked me to narrow down who I’m writing for, the answer would probably be ‘me’. I write for me, and people like me, who are into the same pervy shit that I tend to crack one off to.

Point the second: I want you to wank over my work. No matter what your gender, no matter what your kinks, if you find something here that makes you want to rub one out, then I am not just ‘OK’ with that, I am actively delighted. If you’d like to print any of it out and spaff all over the paper, I am delighted by that as well.

Cum tributes, porn and the key to happiness

This week’s Kink of the Week topic is cum tributes. In their fabulous intro to the topic, Mx Nillin explains that:

“Cum tributes, aka a “sop”, are a form of online sexual activity that involves one individual printing out a photograph of another person then masturbating and ejaculating onto it.”

It reminded me of the heady, carefree days when I first started sex blogging, and I’d actively solicit dick pictures from people online because… well… this may come as a surprise to some of you so hold onto your hats: I have a bit of a thing for dick. Alongside the pictures and videos and ‘rate me lol’ messages that splattered into my inbox, occasionally I’d get someone doing a cum tribute for me.

There’s something deeply, intensely flattering about it. It makes me want to bat my eyes, put my hand to my chest and shriek “Me?! Little old me?!” Someone liked me enough to get a tingle in their pants when they looked at a picture, and not only that but they then went on to pull down those pants, vigorously rub one out, and cover my picture in gobs of their sexual fluid. Champion.

(I must stress: for me, not for everyone. Read Mx Nillin’s excellent guide to consensual cum tributes here.)

But the ‘cum tribute’ thing will always have its limitations for me, because I am not a fan of pictures of myself. I don’t like taking them, I don’t like posting them, and I certainly don’t like looking at them after they’ve gone live. I joined in with Sinful Sunday exactly twice: the first time people were like ‘yay! You should do this more!’ and the second time someone told me I looked pregnant and they ‘thought I should know’ which, honestly, would require an entire blog post to fully unpack.

My dislike of pictures of myself comes from a bunch of boring places: a combination of not really liking my body and not enjoying photography. I am envious – deeply envious – of the amazing sex bloggers who post images, but I’m not one of them. So while I’m flattered and delighted if people like one of the rare pictures of my semi-naked form enough to drench them in spunk, there’s a different type of ‘cum tribute’ I appreciate far more.

Wank to my words

The four words I most enjoy hearing are ‘I love your work’. And what better way to demonstrate just how much you love my work than by covering it in your lovely fuckjuice? I don’t mean the pictures, I mean the words.

This isn’t technically a ‘cum tribute’ in the true sense, but I like it nonetheless. I can’t really do much about my tits or my arse: they just exist there on my body, getting on with their tits-and-arse business, while I go about my life trying to come up with new hand job scenarios, or sex challenges that involve nerdy card games. When you shine a spotlight on my body, I am flattered and delighted, but I also feel a little uncomfortable and squirmy having the focus put on something over which I have no control, and in which I have no pride. When you shine a spotlight on the things I do consciously, I can allow myself a little moment to bask in the tribute because it’s something I’m quite proud of too.

I think this gets to the heart of why I found it so funny when I was asked about my demographics. The implication that I might be bothered or upset by men wanking over my words struck me as the weirdest thing. Because, dearest readers, although this blog has evolved over the years to start talking more in-depth about politics and feminism and a whole bunch of stuff besides simple dick pics, I am still the same horny pervert I was when I started. I still like dick. I still get explicit and delicious thrills from the knowledge that people masturbate to the shit that I churn out. Impressing men isn’t just a nice bonus for me: it’s one of my raisons d’etre.

These days I’m more savvy than I used to be, though. I no longer solicit cock pics, for the same reason I advise people not to share them: I have no idea who’s sending them, and what harm could come to them or me from this interaction. Will the act of sending me a dick pic (or a cum tribute) potentially put them at legal or emotional risk? Might the act of receiving a dick pic or cum tribute put me at risk? I would never want to receive a picture – cum tribute or otherwise – from someone who is under eighteen, or suffering from issues that mean my lack of (or late) response could cause them serious emotional harm, or from an email address that doesn’t belong to them and puts someone else’s job/relationship at risk.

So although I don’t want to receive any pictures – cum tribute or otherwise – because they’ll get me worrying about all these things, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the idea of a cum tribute. I will always – always – delight in knowing that at any moment in time someone in the world might be rubbing one out to my work. Even though I can’t accept pictorial evidence, I wake up every morning feeling lucky that the ridiculous shit I churn out can have such an effect on people. That at the very moment I hop out of bed to get a shower, or turn on the kettle to make the first coffee of the day, someone somewhere might be reading my words. And then wanking themselves dry.

 

 

This post was written for Kink of the Week – click the lips below to read other people’s posts on cum tributes. And thanks to Mx Nillin for suggesting a really cool topic!


*demographic info is based on data from Google Analytics, which obviously is not perfect – it makes assumptions about gender and also buys into the idea that gender is a binary. It’s a helpful guide, though, especially when so many people assume that all erotica/audio porn is necessarily made for women, or could only possibly appeal to women.

23 Comments

  • PurpleSole says:

    I guess it isn’t a cum tribute in the usual sense, but it’s almost like it’s a tribute to your brain that formulates the words to give those people the right tingle in the crotch.

  • I love your words, and they have gotten me off many a time.

  • Golden Hare says:

    “When you shine a spotlight on the things I do consciously, I can allow myself a little moment to bask in the tribute because it’s something I’m quite proud of too.”

    I love this line!

  • Brilliant post – I to enjoy that kind of tribute to the erotic fiction I write. I’ve noticed people can be a little shy to admit that that is the ‘end result’ my work had on them – but I reply it is the best compliment.

    Receiving dick pics or evidence of cum tributes is not something I’d want to encourage but, as you describe, imagining a ripple of wanking after reading what I’ve written – that gives me a warm glow of pride!

  • L9I says:

    LOL! I love that the last word in this blog was, “dry”.

  • Lola & H.H. says:

    I LOVE YOUR WORK! And I especially love this post! Can we repost it on our our blog?

  • Lola says:

    Also, I’m sorry that anyone made you feel self-conscious about your body/looks. I’ve been a big fan of your images as well as your words and I think you’re lovely!!!!

    • Girl on the net says:

      Ah thank you. It’s just a weird thing, tbh, exacerbated by the anonymity stuff which makes me feel doubly *exposed* if I post a picture =) I’m so glad you like the post – thank you for your kind words! You’re welcome to link to my post from your blog or use short quotes, but please don’t directly repost all the text or the image – it will damage my (and your!) SEO: https://moz.com/learn/seo/duplicate-content

  • Grig says:

    What an insanely hot picture

  • Fred Bassett says:

    I read your blog regularly, I’m a man, and I have definitely had some good wanks to it. What gets me going most is when you talk your love of wanking, and describe your self-pleasuring exploits. Particularly when you are doing it along with others like your partner! Very inspirational and the cause of a number of satisfying and pleasurable explosions.

  • Sweetgirl says:

    well where to start – I am appalled that someone would leave a comment like that on your Sinful Sunday image and it certainly was not a helpful comment, so what if you do look pregnant (and I am not saying you do) whats wrong with a curvy body? The body is beautiful in all it’s shapes and sizes, and you my lovely lady are no exception.

    With regards to cum tributes, I totally get your point of view and enjoyed reading your post. :-)

  • OxyfromSg says:

    When I write erotica I firstly want it to be sexy to me and then I want it to be sexy enough to the reader that they want to get off.
    Your stuff is always amazingly sexy and very inspirational.

  • ItsPleaZure says:

    Love the way you write! I read another article as well and they were worth reading!

  • afternoonguy says:

    ironically I found this article a real turn on, and yes I did masturbate to your words while reading it. gotta say I love this site and since discovering it I have stroked myself and grinded against my bed listening to you order and looking at your pics. :)

  • Ke says:

    Hi,

    As a man, I can tell I read you because you sound horny. I particularly like when you talk about your love (or thirst perhaps) for sperm. I really do like it, damn. Turns me on more than porn.

    By the way, are you still receiving dick pics? I know your stance on the matter but I was wondering if sending you without any comment or request would still be ok.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Thank you! Delighted you like my work! I’d rather not receive dick pics any more, I’m afraid. There are lots of reasons for this, and I’m kinda sad to let them go, but I have to say no thanks to them these days.

  • It is interesting. I like compliments about my work, or things that I have created, or my achievements on an intellectual level, a lot more pleasing than compliments on my looks or my body. As you said, it is not really something I can take credit for, it is something that I am born with. But when I am in a sexual space, and there is consent, I want to feel fuckable, sexy, and I love being degraded to being just that. And having that happen online feels sometimes safer than in real life. So cum tributes are the perfect thing for me! But I do agree with you there, it is important that something like a cum tribute can have some implications, so you who you engage with in those kinds of things, is superimportant to check!

  • Mx Nillin says:

    Thank you so much for sharing my posts! I’m so glad to hear that you also really enjoy ethical cum tributes, and I love that you’ve found a way to enjoy even just the base concept of people “tributing” your work through self-pleasure while reading your erotica and other pieces.

    Speaking of, I kind of REALLY fucking love the idea of literally ejaculating on a printed out erotica post vs. a photo. Like, I have never thought of that before and I love that you’d consider it the ultimate compliment for somebody to cover your printed words in their “lovely fuckjuice”.

    Sooooo, may I?

    • Girl on the net says:

      Ahhh I am delighted and flattered that you would like to =) I’m going to send you a DM on Twitter rather than reply properly here in comments, will explain why in DM! Also THANK YOU so much for writing your guide to ethical cum tributes – it’s a fantastic guide and I think these conversations really need to be had, so it’s a proper delight to know that I can send people to your blog post for an excellent run-down of why consideration and consent is important for this, and how to do it well. You rock <3

  • None says:

    Wanked off to your stories

  • Bee says:

    I feel exactly the same way. I’d love to know if the stuff I post has got someone off or inspired someone to try something they hadn’t previously, I just don’t want to see the physical results.

  • Kroal says:

    Can you share the name of the podcast?

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