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Guess what?

I’ve written a book.

It sounds so simple when I write it down like that, but it’s actually taken a bloody long time, because I kept having to break away from writing it to fuck the people who are in it, and masturbate vigorously while thinking about them. I am incredibly excited about this, and I really hope that some of you are too.

It’s not just a random collection of blog entries, or a fictional depiction of my most torrid and disgusting fantasies: it’s a memoir.

I wrote it for the same reason I started this blog: because despite pioneering work by countless women, we’re still a bit weird about sex. We still refer to ‘female masturbation’ in hushed tones, as if it’s something unusual and rare. We hear that men think about sex every six seconds while women will feign headaches to get out of it. I see men being portrayed as one-dimensional sex-driven automatons and women as the grudging servants of their sexual desires. I don’t recognise these women, or these men, and I never have.

Everyone’s unique, and has a different take on sex. This book’s about my take on it, and it’s written for people like you, who have unique takes on it too. I’m wrong a lot of the time. I’m ranty, irritating, occasionally amoral and I use the word ‘fuck’ far too often, but I’m honest.

I wrote this book because since I started writing my blog people have emailed me and said “I wish I could be so open” or sent me filthy fantasies of their own. I wrote it because I didn’t just want to tell people what I’d done, but to explain why I’m glad to have done it. Why I’m not cowering in a corner regretting the number of guys I’ve done and the variety of things I’ve done with them. Why I’m not ashamed.

So if you fancy reading a ranty, sexy memoir, please do buy my book when it’s out. All of the pertinent info is below, and I’ll update you soon with links to where you can buy it when it’s released. I just wanted you to be the first to know.

Girl on the Net: My not so shameful sex secrets

It’ll be out around the end of May, published by Carina UK – the new digital imprint from Harlequin UK.

If you’d like to get an alert when it’s available, please subscribe via the box at the top right of the blog. If you’re a blogger and you’d like a preview to review, just drop me an email with the subject heading “I’d like to review your book, GOTN” (or something similar) and a link to your blog, and I’ll send a list of people on to my publisher.

Thank you, you are all amazing

Finally, a massive thank you – when I first started this blog (back in September 2011, for those who like history) I was worried about a number of things. Would people be mean to me? Would they out me? Would they ignore the blog on the grounds that I am a tedious pervert?

I’ve been pleasantly surprised on all counts, and bowled over by how kind you’ve all been – reading the blog, sharing it around, leaving thoughtful and interesting comments, emailing me your thoughts, stories and cock pictures, and above all not telling me to sod off. Thank you so much to everyone who has ever left a comment, liked a post, retweeted something, or just told your friends to read it. It genuinely means a hell of a lot.

Please keep doing it, because without you I am not a successful sex blogger: I’m just a girl, sitting at a laptop in her pants, masturbating over stories I tell for my own amusement.


  • Charlotte says:

    How exciting! Can’t wait to read it. Well done :D

  • freddy says:

    Given the quality of your writing here it comes as no surprise that you could produce a publishable book. I’ll be sending that email :-)

    Do you have any concerns about being ‘outed’? The blogosphere has history for people whose anonymity was blown at this juncture in their literary careers. Ordinary Girl and Belle and the girl who worked in France just for three.

    • Girl on the net says:

      It’s a worry, but it’s always been a worry. I am hoping to rely on the same things that have kept me private so far – those who know who I am being kind enough not to say anything about it =)

      To be honest I also suspect that having done the whole ‘outing of sex bloggers’ thing, people have learned that we’re depressingly normal in real life. Trust me: we’re way more interesting with our masks on and our real names hidden.

      • p says:

        Normal ?? Yes, but that’s the point! You are just like the rest of us normal’s! But!!!! What makes you special is your the normal who’s brave enough to tell it how it is and say what
        others are thinking, or doing, or thinking about doing.
        This helps the normal’s realise that they are normal!!!!
        Of course the talented writing skill goes without saying.
        Good luck with the book we can’t wait ! x

      • Hyacinth says:

        I have had the same concerns. I’ve even gone so far as to talk to a lawyer friend of mine for help. I haven’t written a book (yet), but my anonymity has been a huge factor in not starting.

        Good on you for going for it. I can’t wait to read it.

        And lastly, CONGRATULATIONS!

  • The Hill Mouse says:

    Wow. Fab. Congratulations.

  • Flaneur says:

    Congratulations on your well-deserved success. I absolutely love the ranty, preachy prose – mostly because they’re things so often not said, but really should be shouted from the rooftops.

    And, of course, you’re a luscious, anonymous, fever-dream; the sort of gorgeous, pain in arse, gobby, slutty geek that gents (ok, me) always want to meet (and ruthlessly fuck – repeatedly).

    But most of all, your writing just feels right : sharp, varied and full of pleasure.

  • Girl on the net says:

    Thank you so much! I can’t believe people have been so nice about this – I hope that it lives up to expectations and doesn’t leave you all disappointed. Still, it’s got wanking in, and wanking is so rarely ever a disappointment, so I am quietly confident =)

  • JenClone says:

    I am more excited than an excited thing. :D


  • Emma says:

    Oooh, well done/congratulations/I look forward to it!

  • Oh girl – congrats – you are awesome. I will be so all over your book when it comes out.
    Loves and proud of ya

  • Eris says:

    Congrats and thanks for sharing. You do it well and I always enjoy the myriad of honest, clit-felt articles. I’m definitely looking forward to having you in my erotica section. :)

  • FB says:

    This is so great! I’ve been following your blog for ages, initially just to drool over the sexier posts but increasingly to actually read your ranting. Well done!

  • Ash says:

    Wow, I hadn’t realized that I’ve been reading your blog for over a year o_O It seems like just yesterday I stumbled upon your blog on Twitter on accident. I was just looking for blogs in general, and when I found this gem, oh my. This is some amazing stuff right here! And now there’s going to be a book?! Heck yes! Sign me up! And of course, congrats on getting it published and whatnot… I hear that’s a rather hard thing to do…

  • S&H says:

    Well done. My wife and I have been reading and discussing (and yes, fucking because of…) your blog for almost a year now.

    You have a lot of good things to say and your writing in sincere and insightful.

    Great work – we shall be purchasing.

  • furochan says:

    glorious news! i’ve been reading for over a year now and aaah i want to own your book RIGHT NOW

    but i will wait. in agony. with some videos as a poor substitute.

  • Jan says:

    Awesome! So excited for you and happy for myself and all your other fans ;) I’ve been following you for more than a year now and I just love your writing. I live in a country that’s still pretty severely repressive to women’s sexuality, so you’ve been a bit of an inspiration–it’s so nice to know there are other women out there who are unappologitically enjoying their sexuality, as I am trying to. Keep writing, and can’t wait to read your book!

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