Two things: Eurotrash and UK trash

Image by the excellent Stuart F Taylor

I watched the special edition of Eurotrash this weekend and I could not stop grinning. Until, of course, someone tried to engage me in a debate about the EU referendum, causing my smile to shatter into a thousand pieces. So. Two things this week: Europe edition.

The good: Eurotrash

I loved Eurotrash when I was a youngster, and yet I don’t think I ever properly understood it. Like most late-90s kids, it was the dirty secret of my favourite Friday nights. If I struck it lucky my parents would be safely ensconced in a pub, my siblings either in bed or at a sleepover, and I could settle down with one hand down my pants and the TV switched to Channel 4.

If you’ve never experienced Eurotrash, now’s the time: a special edition of Eurotrash, created just for the EU Referendum debate, aired this weekend. It features Italian porn stars, a man dressed as a remarkably realistic deer, an opening can-can number and – of course – some people making bras out of pizza dough.

(Although it’s on the All4 app, I can assure you that All4 is much better than 4OD used to be, so if that’s what’s putting you off then go check it out anyway)

When I was a teenager, I’d watch Eurotrash with a kind of eager semi-arousal. Laughing at jokes I didn’t understand, making bemused faces at the pop videos, and never really taking in exactly what it was, because I was too busy waiting for the next raunchy bit to start. As an adult, watching Eurotrash wasn’t just a flashback to my desperate, wanking past – it was a reminder of some of the things I love most about sex. The playfulness, the bizarre fetishes, the ability to laugh at yourself even when you’re halfway through an orgy.

Above all, what I never fully comprehended about Eurotrash when I was younger was the sheer evangelism of it. That intense and eager desire to show other people your kinks and quirks. Not out of a need for everyone to conform, or even a desire to strong-arm them into trying it: just to show them exactly what you love.

To say ‘I’m fucking weird and I like weird fucking.’ And then have a massive party.

The bad: EU referendum

I would love to say I don’t care which way you vote in the EU referendum, but I do. I care a whole lot. I’m not going to try and persuade you here, though: I suspect that most people who read this blog will be in favour of staying in, and those who are voting out aren’t going to be persuaded by me.

Almost every ‘pro-Brexit’ image or article or tweet I’ve seen in the last week has made me miserable. And while I’m sure it’s partly due to my own bias, I think it’s also partly because so many of them have more than a hint of racism bubbling beneath the surface. There’s a fantastic article by Chimene Suleyman on the impact of campaigning and discourse in the UK.

So what can we do? Well, we can get out and vote ‘In’ on Thursday, and we can continue having depressing conversations with right-wing friends and relatives. Either to persuade them to change their minds or just to keep them so busy on Thursday they don’t get a chance to vote.

And in the meantime, to cheer ourselves up, here are two genuinely great things to come out of the EU Referendum.

  1. John Oliver inventing the phrase ‘I don’t give a tally-ho fuck’
  2. Operation Croissant. An initiative run by Parisians who are planning to visit London on Wednesday, to hand out croissants and persuade us to stay.

Comedy, free croissants, and friendliness: I can’t think of a more Eurotrash-y way to fight the hateful ‘Out’ campaign. Unless the ‘Remain’ camp change their minds and decide to make their porn parody after all.


  • YY says:

    I am French and, like most of my fellowcitizens, I hope that all the countries will succeed in leaving this awful jail called European Union, whereas being neither an union nor, in any way, European.

    Bexit for Britain ! Frexit for France ! Freedom for all !

  • Colin says:

    The possible result of an out vote may be a lonely uk, undefended by our Europe
    friends, run by that clown Boris, but dominated by a USA ruled to destruction by Trump.
    having a war with his current fetish hate nation. Will running to Ireland be far enough ??

    • YY says:

      I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you mean.

      As far as I can know, the so-called “European Union” has the United States of America for leaders, so leaving the U.E. does not mean submitting to the U.S.A., but being a bit less chained to them.

      De Gaulle tried to make the E.E.C. independant from the U.S.A. by an ally with Adenauer, but the weight of the U.S.A. other Germany was too great.

      Being in the E.U. is almost equal to be a part of the N.A.T.O.

      Or so I think !

      Do you see this problem differently ?

      • Girl on the net says:

        “the so-called “European Union” has the United States of America for leaders”
        No, it doesn’t.

        • YY says:

          In fact, the U.E. has been created by the U.S.A., and is a puppet of them, as far as I know.

          • Azkyroth says:

            Citation SERIOUSLY needed.

          • Girl on the net says:

            “As far as I know”

            Ah, OK I think we’ve found the issue. It isn’t, so you can relax.

          • YY says:

            European Union is nothing else than a step, and is anything but European.

            From the very first step to this day, the pace and extension of what is today the alleged « European » Union (European in the Newspeak meaning, i.e. non-European) has been initiated, extended and made grown by the imperialist U.S.A. classes.

            I assume you don’t read

            A bit History (if you disagree with anything, please say what instead of calling me a moth*******r)

            U.S.A.’s president, Mr Barack Obama, wants you to remain in the so-called « European » Union (The Guardian).

            According to the pro-U.E. “European Referendum Initiative”, « The political stakeholders of the financial interest groups supporting the pharmaceutical industry, for example, such as George Bush and Nicolas Sarkozy, are now telling us to prepare for war and are openly discussing WWIII. »

            But… bothNicolas Sarkozy and Bush support the E.U.

            D’you feel the fish hook ?

          • YY says:

            If you think that citation is needed, why don’t you ask why my replies don’t appear, when they have citations ?

          • Girl on the net says:

            Because if you post links they get held in a spam filter until I get round to approving them.

            A neat example, perhaps, of you seeing a conspiracy where none exists. How apt.

          • YY says:

            Four attemps to give citations and sources: nothing appears. The secind of the four times, I saw a text saying that it seemed that I already made that reply, whereas it doesn’t appear.

            The 3rd and 4th times, nothing at all.

            Is it possible, yes or no, to use links and cite sources ?

            Otherwise, you just have to searc sources about General de Gaulle European policy. You’ll find what you don’t know yet.

          • Girl on the net says:

            See my previous comment

          • YY says:

            Sorry,, my comment and your explanation appeared.

            No, you didn’t try to prevent me to give sources, as I believed you did.

          • YY says:

            I fogot a link about History of the U.E.

      • Girl on the net says:

        Also no one called you a motherfucker.

        • rare deeds says:

          Whistles, gently =)

        • YY says:

          None calls me a moth*******r.

          Some people, who are such ignorant about History that they don’t even know the History of the U.E., whereas they support it, dare to mean I am an ignorant. I assume that anyone knowing what they ignore is an ignorant, from their point of view.

          The same ones call « farts » what they dislike.

          To call moth*******rs peoples who disagree with them is in their reach.

        • Azkyroth says:

          My apologies for the oversight ;P

  • Peter Pan says:

    GOTN, Wise words on the referendum. As a non Brit I have followed the debate and I am shocked by the low level of the arguments on both sides.
    I hope the British public will vote wisely.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I hope so too. And yeah, there’s been shit on both sides. One side has far more terrifying shit though, in my opinion. Having said that, the left (and ‘remain’ camp generally) have not been immune from responding to dog-whistle racism. None of us comes out of this well.

  • rare deeds says:

    I find myself whistling Beethoven’s Ode to Joy whenever I pass within the purview of a swivel-eyed ideologue, quietly, joyfully responding to their hate-fuelled fanaticism with the closest I can come to sublime beauty.

    I recall the late-night, alcohol-fuelled, attempts to wank along with Antoine, Jean-Paul, & their menagerie of the absurd, never quite managing to maintain my erection when confronted by the latest knitted-beanie wearing nudist couple in Lapland creating snow art with their chilly tits & cock, whilst being gloriously inappropriately overdubbed by a a laddie from the Black Country & a lassie from Barnstaple.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Whistling your dissent? I love this idea, a lot. It is gentle, and lovely, and I like it very much.

      And oh God yes – your Eurotrash description is spot on =) I’d totally forgotten about the voiceover accents until I watched again this weekend. So good.

  • Bekah Rigby says:

    As an American focused on corralling our particular drama llamas (i.e. Donald Trump, mass shootings, toddler-snatching alligators, etc.), I haven’t been too up on the EU referendum, BUT…
    Now I’m HIGHLY intrigued by the idea of a show where people make pizza dough bras. Like, I really think my husband could be into that. He’ll smear some tomato sauce on my pastry-covered nips, and we’ll make a good time of it ;)

  • Curvaceous Dee says:

    There’s a special Eurotrash episode? *promptly downloads* I loved watching it as a teen – and getting turned on (and occasionally, off) by it :)

    xx Dee

    • Girl on the net says:

      Yaaay! I’m glad I could spread a bit of Eurotrash good news! If you liked it before, you will love it now – it is so perfect and faithful to the original.

  • Aj says:

    I’m an Australian, so can’t vote. If I could, I’d vote leave. I find myself being very anti-globalist these days, so that’s where my gut would lead me – anything for smaller, more regional governments. I’m actually hoping for a Trump victory as well, as I think that’ll be the best thing for Australia. My main reason is that Trump seems to be the only hope we have of ending the TPP, which is a virtual certainty with Clinton. Everything else, is chicken feed compared to killing that monstrosity. I also think Trump, as an isolationist, is less likely to drag Australia into more foreign adventuring. The Australian election is in 2 weeks. We have mandatory voting, and I’m considering voting informal because the choice in my electorate is the 2 globalist main parties, who have both pushed the TPP, and the nut jobs Greens. This all leaves me feeling depressed too.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Trump is a massive racist, most of the Vote Leavers are racists. Call me a raging idealist but there is no sugar sweet enough that it’ll make me swallow that pill.

      • YY says:

        Churchill, promoter of the U.E., was a racist too.

        • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

          To be fair to Churchill, he was born in England in 1874. Yes, in many ways he was a racist, but so were probably about 99% of his generation.

          • YY says:

            I don’t reproch Churchill the place and time of his birth, I meant that the so-called « European » Union is a tool which policy has a certain aim.

            Whether you’re racist or an antiracist, what is important for other people is what you make, whatever is in your soul (it’s up to a god, not to an humane being, to be the judge of the souls).

            E.U. and N.A.T.O. took part to the blocus of Iraq, to wars in that country, in Afghanistan, in Libya, in Syria…

            Millions of civilians already died from it.

            U.E. and N.A.T.O are the two arms of a same monster.

          • Girl on the net says:

            We get it. You hate the EU. This is the last reply you’ll get from me, but for what it’s worth: the things you’re linking too aren’t so much ‘citations’ as ‘brain farts’ – that one, for instance, might make you *feel* like you’ve offered a citation, but in fact it just links to a satirical cartoon of Hilary Clinton. Your previous one just links to a blog detailing some European history, which I don’t know enough about to know whether it’s true or not, but it certainly doesn’t seem to back up your point in any way. The one before that goes to an article which talks about Bush wanting to work closely with the EU (not, to my mind, evidence of a conspiracy, just evidence that countries sometimes trade and communicate with each other). Your other link – the telegraph one – points to an opinion piece, which you appear to have read completely without irony or any idea what ‘opinion’ means.

          • YY says:

            You speak about « farts » and say I hate: who hates ?

            SpaceCaptainSmith said that Churchill was a racist because of the time he lived in. The cartoon reminds that you don’t have to be a racist to kill Arabian civilians, as Churchill did, as N.A.T.O. does, as the E.U. countries do.

            You don’t even know if my link about History is accurate, but you dared mean I ignore what is the E.U. : who ignores ?

            Would you have read the last link with attention, you would have notice that, whereas it supports the U.E., it reveals that it was initiated and promoted by the U.S.A.

            However ironical, the article shows the steps of the European Union integration. Sometimes, laughing is just a means to admit you have no true reply.

            By my first link, I said I gave evidence that E.U. was just a step : your reply is that it shows some people want to go further, so you blame me for saying truth.

            Regarding my link proving that, whereas the promoters of the U.E. say that it is a shield against people who speak about war – G. Bush & N. Sarkozy are cited, for good or bad reasons – in fact these people against whom E.U. is allegedly a shield support the European Union.

            You can’t reply either to The Guardian, showing that the U.S.A. president, B. Obama – who made more wars than both G. H. & G. W. Bush – wants you to remain in the U.E. Uncle sam needs you !

            I said that you just had to search about général de Gaulle’s Europan policy : you prefer not to do.

        • YY says:

          For ignorant people calling ignorant thise who know what themselves ignore, this citation from the Guardian’s article I gave the link previously :

          « The disclosure was made by the chair of the Senate foreign relations committee, Bob Corker. It came after he and his fellow senators heard testimony from former Obama and George Bush administration staffers that they feared David Cameron’s referendum gamble was “very risky”, might backfire and lead to a Brexit vote… »

          Yes, George Bush, like Barack Obama, like Nicolas Sarkozy, wants the U.K. to remain in the U.E.

          And you dared say the things to what I link are no citations…

          U.E. is a “Made in the U.S.A.” puppet.

          • YY says:

            Général de Gaulle, in the 3rd vol. (1944-1946) of his War Memoirs, explains that Winston Churchill wanted the United Kingdom to remain forever an unconditional ally of the United States of America, and never of Europe. Read the discussion between de Gaulle, Churchill and Attlee.

            Winston Churchill, September, the 19th, 1946 : « We must build a kind of United States of Europe. »

            Yes, European Union has been built by promoters of an unconditional alliance between the U.K. and the U.S.A.

            Jean Monnet and Robert Schuman are regarded as founding fathers of the European Union. De Gaulle said that Monnet was a little financier in the U.S.A.’s pay (« petit financier à la solde des Américains »).

            In the year 2000, disclosure of C.I.A. archives enabled Joshua Paul, researcher at Georgetown University in Washington, to show that from its birth the federalist European movment was paid and directed by the O.S.S. (today called C.I.A.).

   : « A memo from the European section [of the U.S.A.’s State Department] (…) advises the vice-president of the European Economic Community, Robert Marjolin, to pursue monetary union by stealth.
            It recommends suppressing debate until the point at which “adoption of such proposals would become virtually inescapable”. »

            Please read the whole article before complaining about my point of view’s smelling (smelling ???).

            Vote as you wish, but, for Heaven’s sake, don’t pretend you want to unchain yourselves from the U.S.A. when you vite for remaining a puppet of them.

            In order to ensure my reply to be agreed, I’m going to link in following replies.

          • Girl on the net says:

            Nope, I’m not approving any more comments from you either.

      • Aj says:

        I haven’t seen any evidence that Trump is a “massive racist”. Do you have any? Mexico is a country, not a race (which also complains about illegal immigrants crossing its southern border), and Islam is available to everyone, not just brown people. As to the judge handling the Trump University case, I could get on board there, even though the judge is a member of a Hispanic exclusive lawyer’s association, while Trump has a history of working to open up white exclusive clubs he was a member of. However, I didn’t see people who claim this is racist previously complain when Sonia Sotomayor literally said that her Latina heritage affected her decisions ( ), while some have said that white male judges don’t necessarily have the life experience to reach just decisions that involve women or non-whites. Ultimately, we are all biased by our life experiences, and pointing this out is smart strategy, as he’s planted the bias idea before a decision is reached.

        In fact, I don’t think Trump has said a negative thing about race during his campaign, on the other hand, evidence of out right racism by the Clintons comes out all the time ( ). But, as I said, not being an American, none of that really matters to me. My only desire from the US election is to get the TPP killed, and that requires a Trump presidency.

        • Girl on the net says:

          You’ve seen no evidence that Trump is a massive racist… save for all the examples you feel compelled to state, then rebut in roundabout ways.

          It’s like saying “I’ve not seen ANY evidence that Steve stole your car. Do you have any? Of course that time last week he was just borrowing it. And the other time you told him he could drive it then you got amnesia. And the other time he tripped and fell into the driving seat.”

          Lie to me, by all means. But you’re lying to yourself here, mate.

    • Ay None says:

      “Everything else is chicken feed”

      Really? You’re so fixated on one single issue that everything else can go hang? Never mind that hate crimes are increasing with Trump’s encouragement, never mind that his response to 49 people being gunned down was first to pride himself on being “right” and then to suggest it would have been marvellous if the people in the club had been armed and the whole thing had degenerated into a mass shootout, never mind that his ideas about banning Muslims are completely unworkable and will basically boil down to stopping folks with brown skin or Arabic names, never mind that his views on women are appalling, or that he’s turned the political process into a game of who can shout the loudest, or that his policies change daily depending on what he thinks people nearby want to hear, or any of the other damn good reasons not to vote for him. As long as you get the one thing you want everyone else can go fuck themselves?

      • Aj says:

        What is the most a non-US citizen in a strong “ally” country hope from a US president? Don’t screw us over too much in terms of trade, and don’t drag us into poorly thought out foreign adventuring. In Trump vs Clinton, Trump wins on both fronts. Clinton has accepted millions of dollars from countries that execute gays and doesn’t view women as equal. The major source of violence I’m seeing in the world right now is from leftists. There have been two assassination attempts on Trump already, San Jose, not to mention the person who shot 49 people was a Clinton supporter. And I say that as a classical liberal, who, until recently, considered myself a leftist.

        • Girl on the net says:

          Please don’t use the Pulse shooting as a means to try and argue that Trump is a good presidential candidate.

          • Aj says:

            I didn’t bring it up.

          • Girl on the net says:

            “the person who shot 49 people was a Clinton supporter”

            To what exactly were you referring?

          • Aj says:

            Ay None brought the attack up. I responded by pointing out that Mateen openly supported Clinton for president.

          • Girl on the net says:

            I asked you not to use the Pulse shooting as a means to try and argue that Trump is a good presidential candidate, and that is exactly what you did. I didn’t ask why you did it, I just asked you not to. No more from you on this thread, ta. All your future comments will go into pre-mod.

        • Ay None says:

          Personally, when it comes to the leader of a global superpower I’d rather see someone with workable policies and some idea of what’s involved in negotiating with other countries. Trump has neither.

          No one’s suggesting Clinton is perfect, but Trump is appalling. Banning all Muslims won’t make anybody safer, but it will lead to more people feeling angry and disenfranchised and ripe for radicalisation. No one blows themselves up when they feel good about their life; they do it because everything is shit and they’ve been promised a better life on the other side. If Trump had even half as much sense as he has ego, he’d be building bridges, not walls.

          And if you think having a man like that in charge won’t have a negative impact on the rest of the world, then you’re living in a fantasy world

          • Aj says:

            When it comes to Muslims, what Trump has actually proposed is not that dissimilar to what Australia does (I have family and friends in Australia’s Immigration Department). When Australia accepts refugees from Muslim majority source countries, after really bad experiences integrating Muslims from the Lebanese civil war, we now select religious minorities (Christians, Jews, and even Ahmadi) and female led households (largely on the hush-hush to avoid politically correct backlash). It’s also not without precedent in the United States; Carter instituted something similar in the 80s. As to the idea that no one blows themselves up if they’re feeling good about their lives, you clearly have no idea what you’re talking about. Maajid Nawaz, who doesn’t support Trump, is absolutely right on this. Trump is currently the only person actually prepared to name the problem. The Obama administration’s replacement of the word ‘Allah’ with the word ‘God’ in the redacted transcripts was inexcusable, and demonstrates they aren’t up to even beginning to handle the problem. Clinton is no better, as her immediate response was also to make excuses. Consider the difference in reaction to this shooting to Dylann Roof’s. Within days of that one, Confederate flags were removed from all across the southern United States, even though the connection was tenuous. Here, Mateen literally said he was an ‘Islamic soldier’, and the administration’s response is to make excuses for Islam and ban guns.

          • Girl on the net says:

            Mateen was born in the US and therefore Trump’s racist plans to ban Muslims from entering the States are completely irrelevant. Also, there’s a line between allowing people an opinion on my blog and effectively giving them a platform to spread hatred and misinformation, so all your comments from now on will go to pre-mod. Luckily for me, this blog is not a democracy.

        • Ay None says:

          You’re right, I was mistaken, people who are happy and content are absolutely the most likely to strap on a suicide vest…


          Let’s step back a bit. Islam is not the problem, Confederate flags are not the problem, white people are not to blame for the popularity of Trump. The problem, every time, is people who are scared, people who feel the world is leaving them behind, people who don’t feel in control of their own lives. The problem is when those people look around, and find ISIS, or Trump, or whoever, promising to help. They say to those people, “We’re the only ones who understand you. We’re going to help you take back control. This is how you take charge, this is how you show everyone you’re not going to be pushed around, this is how you get your revenge.” They say, “Those guys are the problem. All of them. They’re coming to get you. You have to get them first.”

          And that’s it. They promise easy answers to people who feel hopeless. And the rest of us can’t fight that, because there are no easy answers. There’s just hard work.

          When I was younger, it was Irish terrorists blowing up shopping centres and the like. That hasn’t happened in a long time, and it’s not because we banned all Irish people. It’s because of a long political negotiation that gave people on both sides a chance to talk and a little more control over their destiny (a negotiation only possible because of the EU, incidentally). Things aren’t perfect in Northern Ireland, by any means, but they’re a lot better than they were.

  • Gilly langley says:

    Great post I too loved Eurotrah made me smile like a teenager too. How I loved all the fun , fun and sex has to be spot on… As for the Eu I feel so much pain and divide in the UK because of this I’m of course a remain and worry a lot about how this is going to go .
    How many complaints did you get in the end??

  • Oh and how many toys on your bedroom floor??

    • Girl on the net says:

      Haha, ah well I got no complaints in newsletter (yay!) and someone guessed correctly. 10 toys on floor – have emailed the two closest ppl

  • The quiet one says:

    Vote to stay in, we need to work on the issues together not run away like children.
    And then stop having these disruptive votes and just get on with life!

    Eurotrash rocks!

  • Lee says:

    The last time that Nationalist sentiment (fascism, racial superiority, isolationism, minority persecution and statist violence) took hold of a country, it cost the world about 495 million lost lives to excise the vile idea and its evil results from the map.

    Lest we forget. I’m voting for unity and cooperation, not the Nationalists.

    The appalling example of what happened to Jo Cox shows their true colours; an unrelenting catchetism of hate.

    Some of us haven’t forgotten the stern, painful and expensively bloody lessons of the past.


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