This post, by sex blogger Ella Scandal, originally appeared on her website. It is read aloud here by Leo Di Luca. 

Scuttling across the floor behind Mistress, I swallow a whimper. Bare floorboards scuff my knees, the gaps between the planks leave stinging prints on my palms. I stumble a bit, gasping for breath when she yanks on my spotted tie to stop me from face planting.

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One of the most popular posts this year was the one on wank fantasies, which I wrote for Masturbation Month. That surprised me because it was mostly just me allowing my dirty mind to spill out a load of random snippets of porn. But seeing as people seemed to enjoy that, I’ve been prompted to do a similar thing this week – write some sexy Christmas fantasies, and in lieu of a Christmas gift guide, give you tips on sponsor products/websites that can help you to fulfil them. Pick your favourite fantasy, have a wank if you’re so inclined, then consider buying someone (or yourself) a Christmas gift or two from the recommendations that come with each story. These fabulous companies sponsor my website, so it’s thanks to them that I can keep churning out more filth for you all – if you’re happy to click through to their sites and support them in return, I really appreciate it.

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Let me make myself crystal clear: I write porn so you can wank to it. I don’t expect all of you to do that, of course, but I know that some of you will, and that knowledge makes me ridiculously happy. I would be even happier if you chose to print some out and spaff all over it. Let’s talk about cum tributes…

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In the course of my electro sex adventures, I have had a lot of ups and downs. Mainly ups, naturally, because electro sex toys open the doorway to plenty of intriguing sexual adventures that wouldn’t be possible without this specialist equipment. Click on the link in the first sentence for a few examples, or feel free to just imagine me writhing naked on a wooden bench while a lightning storm rages outside, and my partner zaps my cunt while cackling eagerly like a horny Dr Frankenstein. The downs (those moments when electro sex toys don’t do exactly what I expect them to) are mostly caused by me forgetting the golden rule of electro sex. So as I write up my latest adventure – fucking an electric dildo – I thought I’d take the opportunity to properly explain this golden rule.

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He taps 7 mana to boost a dragon hatchling, flying it over my beasts like they mean nothing. With a wry grin and a look of barely-disguised glee, he puts on a faux-sympathetic voice and tells me: “Looks like that butt plug’s going in your ass.” Sex challenge Magic is the best Magic.

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