Fuck the pain away: The golden rule of electro sex

I suck at taking pictures, but this is the ElectraStim AXIS kit bag with the ElectraStim komodo dildo next to it

In the course of my electro sex adventures, I have had a lot of ups and downs. Mainly ups, naturally, because electro sex toys open the doorway to plenty of intriguing sexual adventures that wouldn’t be possible without this specialist equipment. Click on the link in the first sentence for a few examples, or feel free to just imagine me writhing naked on a wooden bench while a lightning storm rages outside, and my partner zaps my cunt while cackling eagerly like a horny Dr Frankenstein. The downs (those moments when electro sex toys don’t do exactly what I expect them to) are mostly caused by me forgetting the golden rule of electro sex. So as I write up my latest adventure – fucking an electric dildo – I thought I’d take the opportunity to properly explain this golden rule.

When you’re playing with electro sex toys, the broader the contact area the electricity flows through, the gentler the sensation will be. That’s the golden rule: the broader the contact area, the gentler the sensation. So also: the smaller the contact area, the more intense the sensation. 

It’s worth highlighting because it’s counterintuitive. If you touch a boiling hot kettle with the tip of your finger, you’ll experience less pain than if you grasp it with your whole hand. If you poke someone with a finger it’ll hurt less than if you poke them equally hard with a broom handle, and so on. But electro sex is the opposite: the broader the contact area, the less intense the sensation.

So when you’re playing with sexily intense electric tingles, turning your ElectraStim pack up to ‘reasonably high but not so high I squeal’, the intensity of that tingle increases as you reduce the surface area of the thing you’re being stimulated with. So if I were to use my hands as a conduit for the sensation, a broad palm would be lightly tingly, perhaps even soothing and intriguing, whereas a fingertip would deliver a vicious zap.

I was reminded of this quite forcefully the other night, as I squatted over an electro sex dildo that was suctioned to my living room table.

The golden rule of electro sex

We adjusted the electricity while I sat comfortably with the dildo deep inside me. I was going to be riding it, after all, and I didn’t want to start the burn in my thigh muscles any earlier than was necessary. So I sat comfortably, with the soothing, broad contact of the dildo inside my cunt, while my partner adjusted the settings until I felt a familiar tingle.

“Good?” he asked.

“Perfect,” I replied, like a complete tool, forgetting the golden rule: broad contact equals gentle sensation.

“Now fuck it,” he told me, in a disgracefully horny voice. I eagerly complied, sliding really slowly up the shaft of the dildo so he could watch my thighs tremble as I held the position. As I slid up it, and more of the dildo exited my cunt, I was aware of the electric sensations tingling more fiercely through my crotch, but I thought I could handle it.

I was wrong.

Being a massive show-off, I wanted those first few strokes to be slow. It’s hard enough as it is to appear sexy and seductive when you’re basically fucking a coffee table, so I didn’t want to just leap in to an aggressive, swift, bouncing fuck. Instead I’d planned to eke out the build-up before I started fucking the dildo harder, adding pace and variety to my potentially-award-winning performance. So I slid up slowly… and then more… until the tingles turned to zaps and I yelped at the intensity of the zinging pain.

That’s when I made my pivotal error: because the pain felt like it was coming from the dildo, and because the hotness of the scenario had caused me to forget the golden rule, instead of sitting straight back down, I stood up.



The sudden, forceful zing of having just the tip of the dildo at the entrance to my cunt caused me to leap 6 feet into the air and yowl like a strangled cat.

Electro sex done right

It’s not the best selling point for the product I’m trying to tell you about, but I don’t really mind. Those of you who are fearful of the idea of getting the odd misplaced zap probably weren’t going to buy the ElectraStim Komodo electric dildo anyway. But for those of you who are curious about this kind of play, telling you this story about when I fucked it up will (I hope) highlight why it’s so fun when I fuck it… well… properly.

The fact that sensations get more intense when you slide the dildo out means you can soothe yourself by sliding it back in.

The tingles build gradually to an almost-but-not-quite pain sensation, then just as the dildo slides out an extra few millimetres, that feeling tips over into an ‘ouch’ that induces, nay – compels – you to shove the damn thing back inside you.

As deep as it can go.



When you’re fucking an electro sex dildo, you’re constantly playing on that border of pleasure and pain. The only way to escape the torment when it’s hovering halfway into your cunt?

Fuck the pain away.

One of my favourite moments of a really excellent shag is the first stroke of someone’s dick sliding all the way into me. The ache that has been building at the entrance to my cunt – throbbing and squeezing around thin air, making my muscles hurt for want of a thick cock – is suddenly soothed and calmed by the presence of something thick and hard to squeeze around.

One of my favourite moments of an electro fuck is the in-stroke of the dildo sliding in. The tingle that has been building at the entrance to my cunt – fizzing and pricking and making me hurt for a broader contact area – is suddenly soothed and calmed when the dildo slides back in, dragging me back in waves to the pleasurable end of the electric tingle spectrum.

Quite literally fucking the pain away.

It doesn’t have to be pain, if you’re not as hardcore as I am: on a lower setting, you won’t actually ever hurt for it the way I like to. But you can still get the same effect: tingles getting more intense as you slide the dildo out, then getting soothed down to almost nothing as you plunge it right back in. Lovely.

As I say, it’s not going to persuade those of you for whom electro sex sounds frightening to begin with, but let’s face it: if you read this far down you’re probably not one of those people. So for those of you who want to pick up sex toys that give you genuinely new sensations, that you can use to come up with games and tricks that you’d never have been able to do otherwise, there’s info below on the kit I used when I fucked the living daylights out of my coffee table.

Buy it if you fancy a go yourself. Be bold, have fun, and above all always remember the golden rule. 


I use the ElectraStim AXIS (though the ElectraStim Flick Pack is the budget version and you can do this with either one) paired with the Komodo electric dildo. Incidentally, the size and shape of this dildo is pretty much perfect so it’s a good all-rounder (and comes with wall-mount and suction cups if you want to attach it somewhere) even when you’re not in the mood to hook it up to the electricity. 

If you buy anything from ElectraStim, you can get 10% off anything they sell with the code GOTN, because they sponsor my site. They didn’t pay me to write this post, but they did give me the Komodo dildo for free which is bloody kind of them. 

If you want to find out more about electro sex, check out some of the other adventures I’ve had with this awesome stuff: 

My vagina is electric

Pleasure, pain and jizz on the carpet

I want to feel the music inside me (also available as audio porn)  

You should also check out Joanne’s blog post on the ‘Estim inverse proportionality pain rule‘ because she explains it way better than I do. Also Joanne is the Empress of Estim so if you’re into it, she has a tonne of amazing advice as well as recommendations for cool Estim kit.


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