I’m dating again. Not with great gusto so far, and my most promising dating opportunities are ones that sit outside the swipe-focused stuff anyway. But I am having a go with a few different dating apps to see if there are any that don’t make me want to chuck my phone in the Thames. This time, I’m giving myself side quests to try and avoid the malaise that characterised my last go on this merry-go-round. The problem isn’t always down to other users, to be honest, although inevitably it’s annoying to be greeted with a bunch of likes and messages from guys who have clearly not looked at a single word of my profile, seeing only my pictures and thinking ‘eh, she’ll do‘ then firing off a lazy-ass ‘hey.’ The bigger problem these days is the rampant capitalist hellscape of apps that tempt you in with the promise of connection then demand you open your wallet if you want to actually talk. But still. We’re doing this. And part of ‘doing this’ in a way that makes it fun means allowing myself to write about the experience. That way, when aspects of the dating journey annoy me, rather than curl up and weep in a corner I can roll my eyes and remind myself that at least it’ll make good content. So. Here goes: four reasons I will instantly swipe left.

Note, as always, that like most of my other dating advice articles, this one is tediously straight. 

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The original Doxy was the first sex toy I ever wrote about on this site, and ever since I tried it I’ve been obsessed. I’m not the only one – since it launched it’s become a staple in the drawers of many sex bloggers, readers, and plenty of my friends as well. I’ve mentioned it so many times that even a horny writer like me started struggling to find new ways I could say ‘this is fucking awesome, I love humping it’. Lucky for me, then, that recently Doxy has had a complete overhaul and relaunched some of their toys – redesigned and improved – providing the perfect opportunity for me to fall in love all over again. Let’s talk about the new Doxy Die Cast Max.

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Today’s guest blog spoke to me. It’s written by the fabulous Muya, who is here for the very first time to ask the question: why have I never had an orgasm with a man? The experiences she describes, and the chase she embarks on, is something that resonates with me deeply – I hope it resonates with some of you lot too.

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Are you looking for a long term relationship? Here’s the one question you should ask of everyone you date. It’s going to sound weirdly specific, and has little to do with compatibility or shared interests or personality matching, but bear with me please because I think it’s worth it. The question you should ask of everyone you date is: would you come to Moorfield’s eye hospital with me at five o’clock in the morning?

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I’m so delighted to welcome this week’s guest blogger, who has been working behind the scenes to test out a kickass product from one of my site sponsors. The New York Toy Collective’s Trans Masc Pump is something that not many UK shops stock but Francesca, who runs the fabulous shop The Pleasure Garden, wanted to make sure that trans guys in the UK had access to some of the same gender expression products as our cousins over the pond. And to spread the word about it, we asked Erik – who wrote a fabulous guest blog here a while ago about sex in the time of fascism – to try out the pump and share his thoughts. I’m so grateful to him for giving such thoughtful insight – not just into how these pumps work, which will be really useful to those of you considering buying one, but also some more personal thoughts on the difference between sex toys and gender-affirming care.

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