I’ve often said you can tell how good a sex toy is by how much effort you’re willing to go to in order to use it. If you’ve got a new vibrator but you left it drying by the sink in the bathroom, and couldn’t be arsed to go and get it before settling into a bedroom wank, chances are that isn’t destined to be your number one sex toy. Conversely, if you are willing to spend fully twenty three minutes trying to turn on a half-broken Zumio (as I did this one time), you know that toy is the star around which your best wanks orbit. By this rule, the Hot Octopuss Atom Plus was always going to be a firm favourite, because wrestling it onto a dick and then turning it on took a bit more time than your average cock ring, as did adjusting the settings once it was in place. The buttons were on the side of the cock ring, and you couldn’t easily press them while you were in the middle of banging. Despite the slight faff, my ex and I played with this toy A LOT – each and every fuck with it was a shining and filthy success. Time spent on fiddling with buttons was time very well spent. Luckily, spending so much time with someone’s dick outside of you so you can mess around with the intensity buttons is no longer necessary: Hot Octopuss have just relaunched the Atom Plus cock ring as the Atom Plus Lux, WITH A REMOTE.

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Sometimes sponsors ask me to pick toys to review myself, and other times I selflessly ask other writers to test out products for me. When Stuffgoodies told me they’d love to offer a silicone strap-on set for review, I nearly wet myself with excitement at the prospect of publishing a guest blog by someone who really wanted to get pegged with it. Are you curious about pegging? Fancy having a go yourself? The fabulous @CJ_Brook stepped up to the plate to write about getting pegged with a cock that was remarkably similar to his own, and write a super hot guest post about the experience.

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What I’m looking for in a vibrator depends very much on my current state of mind. Sometimes I’m after a vigorously efficient orgasm that rockets into my life and makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a sexy freight train – during those times I’d reach for my Doxy. If what I’m looking for instead is a precision wank, where all the pleasure is directed to exactly the right spot on my clit, concentrated and magnified like a shaft of sunlight that eventually bursts into flame: Zumio. If I need something guaranteed to make me come nice and hard around a dick I’m fucking, the vibe I’ll slip into my lover’s hand then press tightly against my clit is the Hot Octopuss Amo. Unfortunately for the great people at We-Vibe, when they sent me the brand new Nova 2, what I was looking for in a vibrator was something that could help me forget that I just broke up with the man I love, in the middle of a pandemic, financially fucking myself over and effectively ripping out my own heart. It had – to put it mildly – one hell of a job to do.

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There’s something intensely and deliciously powerful about grinding on someone’s cock. Not bouncing up and down like I’m performing a sweaty porn workout, but grinding. Getting properly stuck in to the sensations of wet flesh pressed tight against my clit. Lovely. Today I’m going to talk about grinding, in the context of a sex toy that’s designed for exactly that: the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Lux.

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I really love it when I recommend toys to you lot and you have as much fun playing with them as I did. Doubly so if you’re willing to share your thoughts in a guest blog. Recently this fabulous guest blogger DMd me to say ‘OMG I cloned my dick’, off the back of a recent post I wrote about that very process. Unfortunately, in my own post, I couldn’t share an image of the cloned dick with you because it was so accurate and representative of my partner’s exact penis that we thought a picture would be far too intimate. Luckily for me (and you, I hope), today’s guest blogger is willing to share pics of his (scroll down to see ’em!), along with a few thoughts on what it’s like to look – up close – at a perfect replica of your own cock, which you have previously only encountered from arms length…

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