Atom Plus Lux: All it needed was a remote

Image courtesy of Hot Octopuss

I’ve often said you can tell how good a sex toy is by how much effort you’re willing to go to in order to use it. If you’ve got a new vibrator but you left it drying by the sink in the bathroom, and couldn’t be arsed to go and get it before settling into a bedroom wank, chances are that isn’t destined to be your number one sex toy. Conversely, if you are willing to spend fully twenty three minutes trying to turn on a half-broken Zumio (as I did this one time), you know that toy is the star around which your best wanks orbit. By this rule, the Hot Octopuss Atom Plus was always going to be a firm favourite, because wrestling it onto a dick and then turning it on took a bit more time than your average cock ring, as did adjusting the settings once it was in place. The buttons were on the side of the cock ring, and you couldn’t easily press them while you were in the middle of banging. Despite the slight faff, my ex and I played with this toy A LOT – each and every fuck with it was a shining and filthy success. Time spent on fiddling with buttons was time very well spent. Luckily, spending so much time with someone’s dick outside of you so you can mess around with the intensity buttons is no longer necessary: Hot Octopuss have just relaunched the Atom Plus cock ring as the Atom Plus Lux, WITH A REMOTE.

Standard disclosure stuff: Hot Octopuss sponsor my website, and they have given me loads of sex toys to try for free over the years. As with everything, though, I wouldn’t bother writing about it if I didn’t find it good, so I’m not doing this under duress but as a wildly eager pervert who wants you to have the chance to fuck in the same fun ways I have. If you buy any of their toys through the links or ads on my site, you’re directly helping to keep my site running – thanks! You can buy an Atom Plus Lux directly and show them how influential and cool I am.

It’s not difficult to explain to you what it was that made the original Atom Plus so good. It’s two things, really:

  1. The fact that having dual-vibrators embedded in a cock ring essentially turned my partner’s dick into a powerful vibrating dildo and
  2. The tight grasp of the cock ring itself made his dick feel as hard as granite.

What can I say? I’m a simple creature.

Granite-hard boners

Although it’s more than possible to have excellent sex without an erection, I personally fetishise dicks – and erections – to an extreme degree. I know my own hotness isn’t directly measured by how hard your cock is, and there are many reasons (anxiety, intoxication, health issues) why you may not be able to get yourself rock-solid on any given night but still… yeah. My brain tells me differently, and it’s only when I can sit calmly in a non-sexy headspace that I fully understand the complexity of erections. I’d love to have the chance to inhabit a body which had a dick, just for a week or so, but broadly I trip through this world absolutely delighted that I don’t have to worry about erections myself. I can just admire and love them and nurture them and… you know… put them in my cunt.

When I’m actually horny, my eyes see granite-hard boners and think ‘ooh yay, I made this happen and holy shit now I get to sit on it.’ You don’t need to get diamond-hard to fuck but… still… it is hot when you do. It’s hot when I can see your cock getting thick in your jeans, and hot when I can grasp it in my hand and feel it growing in rigidity every time I squeeze it.

It’s hot when you slide it inside me, and if it’s especially firm and unyielding, sometimes it literally takes my breath away. I gasp as it goes in and then – deliciously, brilliantly – that sexy feedback loop begins, where you hear my sharp intake of breath, realise it’s a direct result of the feeling of your dick stretching me out, and get turned on by that knowledge yourself. Then your cock twitches inside me, and I can fucking feel it, and I gasp again and that virtuous cycle continues.

Turning your cock into a vibe

I don’t 100% need vibrations in order to get off, but that’s a bit like saying I don’t need ketchup in order to eat chips. Dry chips are nice, but they’re just much better if you have the accompanying condiments. And while a standard vibrating cock ring might apply a little extra vibration on top of the shaft, where it meets my clit and thrums delightfully on the in-stroke, a really powerful cock ring will pump those vibrations all the way through your shaft, so it purrs and throbs all the way up through my cunt.

There are lots of different sex toys that aim to turn your dick into a vibrator – some manage it more successfully than others. I’ve had luck with c-shaped vibes like this in the past, but generally they tend to work best with me on top, grinding hard against someone. If we try other positions like doggy or missionary, and he fucks too hard, then chances are the eager gushing of my cunt juice will provide a little too much lubricant and the whole thing will slip right out.

This doesn’t happen with the Atom Plus, though, because – have I mentioned? – it grips the cock and balls really fucking tightly. So once it’s on, it’s ON and you do not need to worry about anything else. The throb of the vibes travels all the way up the shaft of your dick, turning the whole thing into a kind of thrumming, thudding fucktoy. All the things you do with your cock – slamming it hard against the back of my cervix, sliding it into me really fucking slowly, taking it out and rubbing the head of it in wet circles around my clit – become (I estimate) at least 69% more intense because the vibrations make every action hum.

Try it yourself

Anyway. When I promised Hot Octopuss I’d write about the new, remote-controlled Atom Plus Lux, I was torn between delight and misery. Delight because it means I get to write a post that just leans into my thirst for vibrating boners, and misery because… well… I don’t exactly have any boners to hand right now. I could go find a random guy to fuck, but frankly sex toy play is something I tend not to want to do on a first date, for the same reason I don’t ask people on a first date to help with my tax returns or understand my inner pain: it just feels like more of a ‘third date’ kind of thing.

But this is great news for you, because instead of sending me an Atom Plus Lux to test, they’ve agreed to give one to one of you. Yeah, there’s a competition. You can win it by retweeting the competition tweet (linked below) before midday (UK time) on Friday 1st October. And if you don’t fancy your chances in a competition, you can buy an Atom Plus Lux directly with this special discount code that I made them give me, because I like to believe I am special. Get 10% off Atom Plus Lux by using the code GOTN10 before the end of October. 

Naturally, if you get an Atom Plus Lux of your own I will be wildly jealous. So good was this sex toy, and so utterly devoid of penis am I, that I let my ex keep it in the break-up along with loads of other good dick-based stuff. Had you told me that they’d be relaunching this with a remote, I might have got a wriggle on and tried to find myself a fuck buddy six months’ ago rather than pissing around trying to find myself somewhere to live. Anyway. Buy it, or win it, it’ll be fucking incredible – all the joy of vibrating boners, now with added remote. Meanwhile I’ll console myself by sending them the draft of this blog and asking if I can have a bash on their brand new butt toy to cheer myself up…

WIN an Atom Plus Lux – terms and conditions

  1. Retweet the competition tweet and follow @HotOctopuss on Twitter to be in with a chance of winning an Atom Plus Lux – priced at £89.95, no cash alternative.
  2. Competition open from 9 am (UK time) on Friday 17th September until midday on Friday 1st October 2021.
  3. All entrants must be over 18.
  4. Winner will be chosen by random draw after closing time, and notified by Twitter DM. If the winner has not fulfilled the entry requirements for the competition (i.e. retweeting and also following @HotOctopuss) a new winner will be redrawn.
  5. If the winner does not claim their prize within 5 days, a new winner will be redrawn.
  6. By entering you confirm you’re happy for Hot Octopuss to contact you in order to send your prize in the event that you win.
  7. Prize will be sent from the UK, but competition is open worldwide. Hot Octopuss will cover postage costs but will not be responsible for customs charges if they apply in your country.

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