I’m not telling you to buy all these things. Apart from anything else, some of them are completely free. What I AM going to tell you, though, is that it’s the time of year when people hunt around for gifts to buy their lovers for Valentine’s Day, or buy themselves for Valentine’s Day (I’d argue the latter is better because you know damn well it’ll be well received), and so it would be remiss of me not to nudge you towards the fabulous sponsors who help keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. We have sex toys, audio porn, porn porn, restraints and loads more. Fill yer boots. Every time you click a link on one of the banners around the site or in articles like this, I get a little bit of kudos and you help keep this site running. So even if you’re broke right now, bookmark to treat yourself later.

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As regular readers will know, I’m not a fan of writing sex toy reviews like I’m Which? Wank magazine. I prefer to just use them in fun ways and then tell you a sexy story or how they made me feel. Lately I’ve been struggling a bit to come up with new ways to show off the cool products that my sponsors send me, so I offered the latest kickass creation to my top kinky guest blogger instead. And holy fuck am I glad I did! Behold: Jenby Doll sets her creatively filthy mind to road-testing the Vibe Pad, a brand new sex toy from my sponsors Godemiche. In the process showing off just how beautifully this kind of toy can be used in power-play scenarios. Huge thanks to both Jenby and Star for their incredible work on this super hot post!

Note: this piece contains age play and use of ‘Mummy’ as an honorific but all participants are well over the age of 18. Also features latex, gags, restraints, collars, degradation and dollification.

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This fabulous pegging erotica is written by Molly Moore, and originally appeared on her website. It is read here by Matt Johnson.

It was there on the bed when I got back from dropping the kids at school. It’s been placed very pointedly on the bed. A message left for me.

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A few hours before we’re due to go out, I’m pottering around the flat and these two hot people are hanging out in the living room. You’ve met these filthy fucks already – a few months ago they absolutely annihilated me in the kinkiest threesome I’ve ever been treated to. I choose that phrasing carefully: it really was a treat. Like a brutal sports massage for my masochistic subby side, performed by depraved heroes who really leant in to my request: ‘please ruin me.’

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“I’ve been thinking of getting a cock ring,” my toyboy tells me, and I nearly reach through the screen and grab him by the collar as I bark: “do not even think about getting one that isn’t the Atom Plus Lux.” It’s the best vibrating cock ring I’ve ever used, by quite some margin, and my heart breaks at the thought of his burgeoning enthusiasm for sex toys being dampened by any lesser item. Besides, alongside other benefits of dating me (like my high-quality jokes and love of sucking cock), there are practical perks to dating a sex blogger too, namely: I’ll get you free cock rings if you flutter your eyelashes nicely.

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