You know how, when you go to look up a recipe online, most of the recipes are interwoven with some tangential story about the chef’s life? Have you ever read one of those and thought ‘man, I wish there was a version of this kind of recipe-blogging but instead of being whimsical and wholesome it was outrageously horny?’. Well have I got the guest blog for you! This stunningly sexy post – with accompanying recipe for cinnamon rolls – is by Tess, who has written some gorgeous guest blogs here before. One about she and her wife having the best sex of their lives, and another about gaming while the Hot Octopuss Pulse dispenses incredibly-distracting orgasms. You’re probably thinking ‘wow, how can she top either of these?’ and the answer is ‘with flour, butter, sugar, and some intensely powerful sex.’ Enjoy!

The recipe is real, by the way. Even if you don’t have a loved one to get cum-sticky with right now, you can absolutely make some cinnamon rolls. 

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How do you feel about being used as a platter, on which everyone’s dinner is served? That’s the premise behind nyotaimori – a kink that, in Japanese, literally means ‘serve food from a woman’s body’. Hot, obviously. Even hotter, the excitable kinkster who is here to write about it is Jenby Doll, whose work you will I hope be familiar with from such epic adventures as this romantic needle/staple play scene, this incredible bimbofication play, and even actual induced lactation. I am always excited when she appears with a new guest blog pitch, and her first nyotaimori scene sounds not only delicious but outrageously horny. So! Please welcome Jenby, onegaishimasu.

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This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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This week’s guest blogger pitched me their piece as ‘first time sploshing’ and it is definitely that: delicious birthday cake served in a truly sexy way. There’s another word for what happens in this piece too, though, which I wanted to introduce you to in case you, like me, enjoy learning incredibly specific terms for super-hot kinky acts: nyotaimori. It’s a Japanese word meaning ‘to serve food off a person’ and it was featured on Kink of the Week last year. I love the concept of it, and adore it even more if the food being served is cake. This week’s guest blogger combines first time sploshing, nyotaimori and group sex in this creatively sexy post about getting your birthday fantasy fulfilled…

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I tiptoe into the flat through the door she’s left unlocked, because I don’t want to wake her when I get in. On the pillow in the spare bedroom, she’s left a fresh towel and two chocolates, and seeing them makes my heart burst with love. I spy from the hallway that the light is on in her room, so I can’t resist asking: “psst – you up?” I could wait till tomorrow to talk to her, but I’m brimming with eagerness now. I can spill all the details over ham and cheese croissants at breakfast, but she is awake right now, so she says “yes! Come in! Report back! Did you get alllllll the spunk?”

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