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On boys’ clothes

Clothes should technically be unimportant – boring, unappealing bits of fabric that we wear to protect our modesty and stay warm. Except, of course, they aren’t. We wear them because we want to look good – we choose things that hide our ugly bits and show off our best bits.

Someone recently asked me why women’s clothes were so much more sexual than men’s, and whether I was disappointed that men’s clothes didn’t show them off in such a sexual way. My response was a surprised guffaw – men’s clothes aren’t sexual? Have you ever seen any men?

Sure, it might not be as obvious to a straight guy (or a gay lady) that the things men wear accentuate their beautiful bits, and there are fewer items for men that are as screamingly sexual as, say, a beautiful corset on a curvy lady. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t sexual at all – some men wear clothes that are so hot I have to bite my fist to restrain myself from biting through the fabric and nuzzling enthusiastically at whatever I find beneath.

Fashion itself is shit, of course – fashion is the art of persuading people they are bad, wrong and ugly in order to sell them expensive things they don’t really need. But in the meantime we have clothes – clothes from 20 years ago, clothes from the back of your wardrobe, clothes that you’ve just dredged up out of the laundry pile – any of these things can be beautiful if they show you off right.

So, eschewing fashion itself and concentrating on ‘clothes that make me slick my knickers’, here is the GOTN Boys’ Collection.

Tight t-shirts

Yes. Yes please. Black or white, ideally, but any colour’s probably good. I like seeing the shape of your arms stretching the fabric, and exactly where your nipples are. This item of clothing comes with a warning, though: if you push the sleeves up to your shoulders I will want to lick you on the tube.

Jeans that fall off your hips a bit

I don’t mean ‘jeans that defy gravity by hanging just below your buttocks’ – this is too extreme. There is nothing for me to imagine. I’ll probably have a quick look if you have a particularly shapely backside, but the mystery is gone so there’s not much for my mind to dwell on.

But jeans that are just a bit loose? Jeans that hang low enough that when you stretch I can see the dark trail of hair pointing down towards your dick? Jeans that show off the top of your hipbones and the dimples just above your arse in the back? Get some, and watch me get wide-eyed and dribbly.


Oh God what a horrible cliché I am. Still – show me a man in an army uniform and I’ll show you how quickly I can drop to my knees.

Tight cotton boxers

I love boy’s pants – as a girl I’d give my right arm to wear them. Not just ones I’ve bought straight from the shop, you understand, but ones taken from the bedroom floor of a guy I’ve just fucked. Pants stretched to just your shape, with that delicious smell of sweat and precome.

But the best thing about these tight cotton boxers is the bulge your dick makes when you’re wearing them. The way it stretches the fabric when you get hard, and the ease with which I can slide the elastic to just below your balls, cupping everything nicely as I run my hand over your solid cock.


OK, girlonthenet, you have officially gone mad: watches cannot be sexy.

Au contraire. You know where you wear a watch? On your wrist, at the end of your arm, near your hand. Hands that are beautiful, arms that are beautiful, and – ultimately – hands that you wank with.

If you wear a watch I will be unable to look at it without imagining what it looks like on the wrist attached to the hand that’s tightly gripping your red-raw, rock-solid dick. I don’t care what the time is, I care about what you look like when you’re wanking. The flexing tendons in your wrist, the frantic rubbing, the pained and desperate furrowing of your brow, your thick fingers squeezing the last drops of spunk out of your twitching dick.

Nice jeans, tight t-shirts and clinging pants will highlight the pretty things about you, but ultimately I’m a simple creature – the quickest way to get my attention is to make me think about you wanking.



  • pajh says:

    But I wear my watch on my off hand….

  • infernalteddy says:

    Poor me with my pocket watch then…

  • Tony Ryan says:

    Hmmm. Uniforms, you say… ;)

  • ilmari says:

    What’s your position on kilts? I usually wear my Utilikilt with a tight-ish, black, geeky t-shirt.

  • felix says:

    Ah, also the sheer hotness of taking off my watch and laying it on the side when things are getting seriously naked. Rituals and intent.

  • N. Likes says:

    Clearly, I should resume wearing a watch (unless you tell me a mala/bracelet works the same). Otherwise, you’ve got me nailed.

  • Amy says:

    Shirts, casually worn, top button undone and rolled up to the elbow. Forearms and a bit of collarbone visible.

    Blazers. Something about the formality, and perhaps a suggestion of sternness.

    Glasses. Not clothes, admittedly, but still.

  • Ash says:

    Sadly, the only one of those I wear on a regular basis is looser jeans that sit just above my crotch (unless my pizza guy uniform counts). When I stretch both my lower back tattoo and the top of the one on my right ass cheek are visible though. I do, however, wear my lucky pink wristbands on both my hands.

    Now that my confession is done – help me with a query. Basketball shorts. I wear them all the time and never considered them that sexy, but one girl told me that basketball shorts on dudes are like yoga pants on women. Opinions?

    • Girl on the net says:

      Hmm. I reckon it depends on the arse. Although shorts in general are quite good. Incidentally, I saw a lady in yoga pants today who had a superb bottom – she was thin and lithe but her arse was disproportionately squishy – I totally understand the yoga pants thing.

  • Littlepurplegoth says:

    There is a certain woo about kilts/skirts on a man. Or a nice shirt.

    Generaal I do prefer Dark dark dark and tailored/fitted (Tshirts included in this, can’t abide baggy!).

    OMG if they also happen to be an evening suit… suitably dishevelled, not ‘Bond’.

    I’m going now…

  • BoyBlunder says:

    Rugby shirts, surely? I mean the club or country ones, preferably the vintage or classic-style… I’ve always had compliments from girls I’ve dated when wearing them?

  • Slutocrat says:

    All those things work for me too except watches. I’d add tight vests, short shorts and tight but tough-looking jackets. But I often am disappointed that men’s clothes aren’t as obviously sexy as girls’. Most men don’t wear hotpants or tight shorts-men’s shorts and vests are just too long and baggy, hiding their shape. There are male corsets but most guys don’t wear them, which is a real shame. They should dress more sexy for clubs instead of shirts, loose tees and blazers and trousers- men need to wear teeny shorts and get their legs and chests out for parties and clubbing.

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