Tag Archives: masturbation
My clit is broken and I’m not happy about it
I have broken my clit on numerous occasions in the past. Usually due to excessive masturbation or obsession over a new sex toy that has led it to go sore and numb and good for nothing. Now, however, my clit is broken for a disturbing Other Reason, and that is that I have not wanked for over a week.
I KNOW.
Over Christmas, circumstances conspired to mean it was pretty much impossible for me to masturbate. Visiting family, stress, the stress of visiting family: these things don’t just add up, they multiply, and leave me totally unable to wank.
Hence: my clit is broken.
Sleep sex, and other things I’ve done in the night
This post discusses sleep sex (and sleep ‘other things’). Everything that happens here is 100% consensual, with a guy I trust a lot, and with whom I have had numerous conversations about sleep shagging. It is not an endorsement to go ahead and do this with people who you haven’t had similar conversations with, obviously.
Apparently on Saturday night I kept a guy awake for hours by repeatedly wrapping my arms round him and begging him to touch my tits.
Yeah, that’s weird, isn’t it?
I was also either 100% asleep for the entire thing, or I have suffered selective amnesia. When he explained to me, very patiently, on Sunday morning that he was a bit knackered ‘because of your weird midnight nipple demands’ you could have knocked me down with a feather. You could also have knocked him down with a feather, because – thinking I was awake – he kindly acquiesced, until eventually he fell asleep on me for a while before I woke him up for more.
X-factor of sex: the finalists
Remember a couple of weeks ago I thought it would be a great idea to get people to ring me and make sex noises down the phone, in order to win some cool sex toys? Well, I was right – it was an AWESOME idea, because I can now reveal the entries, and they’re brilliant. I challenge you to listen to the following clips and not spend at least a minute grinning in delight. Before we start, here’s a round-up for those who might have missed the excitement: The challenge: I asked people to record their best sex noises – funny, sexy, whatever came out when they channeled their best Meg Ryan. The winner of this X-factor of sex would get three spectacularly awesome sex toys:
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Guest blog: I’d never owned a sex toy before… until now
I remember how I felt when I got my first ever sex toy. I can’t remember what I said about it, although I suspect it was somewhere between ‘unnffgh’ and ‘jjjhgfgyhbd’, as the guy who’d kindly bought it for me used it to wank me to a swift and almost terrifying climax.
Naturally, when this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me about her first sex toy experience, I thought it was the perfect thing to share with you. As I’m also a Great Businesswoman, I’ll use this opportunity to point out that if you’d like to buy a rabbit, as she describes in her post, you can support my blog by buying from SexToys.co.uk or SheVibe if you’re outside the UK. Shameless, I know.
Now please enjoy the following hot blog post, and share your own first sex toy stories in the comments because I bloody LOVE stories like this…
The anger wank works for me
Confession: I secretly want you to fail in your wanking endeavours. OK, perhaps not fail exactly, but struggle. I have a vested interest in you rubbing frantically at your dick with a kind of angry determination – balanced seemingly forever at that tipping point just before you come. I like to watch your face while you’re struggling during an anger wank. I like to see the look in your eyes: rage and frustration and desperation all rolled into one. I like to see your hand gripping harder, feel the bed or the sofa shake as you speed up to try and push yourself over the brink.