I’m not telling you to buy all these things. Apart from anything else, some of them are completely free. What I AM going to tell you, though, is that it’s the time of year when people hunt around for gifts to buy their lovers for Valentine’s Day, or buy themselves for Valentine’s Day (I’d argue the latter is better because you know damn well it’ll be well received), and so it would be remiss of me not to nudge you towards the fabulous sponsors who help keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. We have sex toys, audio porn, porn porn, restraints and loads more. Fill yer boots. Every time you click a link on one of the banners around the site or in articles like this, I get a little bit of kudos and you help keep this site running. So even if you’re broke right now, bookmark to treat yourself later.

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I absolutely love creative kinky ideas, and today’s is one I have seen (and participated in!) over on Mastodon a few times already, so I’m delighted that Persephone dropped by to share her cool kink with you. And if you yourself want to be dominated, and give your life over to strangers to influence and manage, then hey – you might want to try copying her kickass idea, and letting the internet dominate you too…

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Hey! I realised recently that I have something in common with my site sponsors Hot Octopuss (and it’s not just that we really love sex toys). Turns out it’s been ten years since they launched the kickass vibrating dick toy PULSE, and coincidentally it’s also been about ten years since I quit my day job and started blogging full-time. I wish I could say I’ve had the same success they have, selling millions of toys and creating oceans of spaff, but to be honest I haven’t sold that many toys. I reckon spaff-wise I could fill a modest pond or two, though. Maybe the Serpentine, at a push. To celebrate their ten years, they launched a really beautiful limited-edition version of their most popular sex toy – Hot Octopuss PULSE Dragon Eye – and I thought I’d take the opportunity to shout about some of the hottest adventures I’ve had with mine…

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Note: this post contains minor spoilers for the filthy scenes in Saltburn. Which I (obviously) loved. 

I’m not going to do it.

Damn right you’re not going to do it. 

Even though… there isn’t really any harm in doing it?

Don’t you dare do it.

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As regular readers will know, I’m not a fan of writing sex toy reviews like I’m Which? Wank magazine. I prefer to just use them in fun ways and then tell you a sexy story or how they made me feel. Lately I’ve been struggling a bit to come up with new ways to show off the cool products that my sponsors send me, so I offered the latest kickass creation to my top kinky guest blogger instead. And holy fuck am I glad I did! Behold: Jenby Doll sets her creatively filthy mind to road-testing the Vibe Pad, a brand new sex toy from my sponsors Godemiche. In the process showing off just how beautifully this kind of toy can be used in power-play scenarios. Huge thanks to both Jenby and Star for their incredible work on this super hot post!

Note: this piece contains age play and use of ‘Mummy’ as an honorific but all participants are well over the age of 18. Also features latex, gags, restraints, collars, degradation and dollification.

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