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On spunk

I neither know nor give a shit if it tastes different when you’ve eaten pineapple.

Spunk is good because it’s spunk. It’s raw and hot and yours. It’s something that you squirt from the end of your dick when you’re so fucking satisfied with me, with what I’ve done, with what I look like when you have me bent over and tied to a chair, that you can no longer keep it inside you. Spunk is, more than anything else, the measure of whether I’ve made you happy.

It’s not good because of the taste, it’s good because you cover me with it. It’s good because you pump it deep and hot inside me. It’s good because you make me eat it.

Can you improve the taste of your jizz?

A brief and depressing google around this area tells me that almost anything natural and fruity could change the taste of your spunk (WARNING: research based on Google does not constitute actual science) so if you’re happy to chow down on a pound of melon or a shitload of grapes each day, alongside the almost inevitable diarrhoea you suffer, you’ll probably also be able to provide a liquid that your ladyfriend would be happy to dribble on her ice cream.

But why? What’s the point? I’m a grown-up earning a wage – I can buy sugary syrups and whipped cream and fruity treats to my heart’s delight – the only way I’ll get a taste of your spunk is to suck on your cock nice and hard, in exactly the way that you like it.

Tasting nice is not what your jism is for. Your spunk doesn’t need to taste like strawberries, or pineapple, or sugar, spice and puppy dog tails – your spunk needs to taste like what comes out of the end of your dick when you come.

Spunk makes sex better

Sex is fun whether you come or not – the feeling of you nice and full and tight and hard inside me will give me the shivers and make me wet and give me something to clamp down on – to tense my cunt around and twitch over and feel happy about. But sex in and of itself isn’t half as good as sex that ends with spunk.

Dribbles of it, spurts of it, nice thick white ropes of it covering my tits or filling my cunt or (my personal favourite) spurting hot and hard into the crack of my arse.

Don’t worry about how you taste – everyone tastes different – pineapple or not – all guys tast different. Some are bitter, some are salty, some shoot sourness down to the back of my throat that makes me gag and worry I might puke. You all taste different – it’s part of your charm.

Have a little taste now – go on. If you’ve never tried it before you’re probably quite an incurious person, but indulge me. Have a taste. You might not like it – many people don’t – but at the very least you now know. You see yourself in the mirror every day, you’re your own constant companion – the person who knows you best. You know what you look like, sound like and smell like, so why not also see what you taste like?

Go on, try it. Salty, sweet, bitter, whatever. That’s the taste of you. And that’s what makes it so special.

Whether the rumours are true or not, I don’t want your spunk to taste like pineapple. If I wanted a pineapple I’d eat one, but I don’t, so if your spunk tastes like pineapple I’ll feel disappointed. Cheated. Because I wanted that special flavour of you – of your approval, your happiness, your sexual gratification. I wanted hot, grunting, squirting thrusts of proper, salty spunk. And you’ve given me a fucking sorbet.

 

20 Comments

  • Fat Tom says:

    But I LIIIKE pineapple. I’ve got one on the counter now, ripening under the influence of the ethene leaking from the pair of blackening bananas I draped indecently across it. I shall eat it soon, to console the inadequacy of my sexual life.

  • bambilish says:

    Pineapple doesn’t make it taste of pineapple it just takes any bitterness away – which can make something’s more enjoyable! It makes girls taste nicer too which can help with those bastardy reluctant boyfriends.*

    * i know I taste good all the time, some guys need to man up!

    • Girl on the net says:

      If a guy doesn’t like the taste of my cunt then I usually recommend to him that he doesn’t put his mouth there. It’s not a massive loss – the idea of someone gagging their way through a bout of oral sex is less sexy than not fucking in the first place.

  • Richard says:

    You are such a wrong’un. Great post, but you will never convince me that spunk tastes good. I can’t even bare the smell of it or it touching me. Maybe I’m the wrong’un…

  • obscureusername says:

    I have, admittedly, a small sample size to judge from but I like the taste of spunk. Like blowjobs, like rubbing the top of a guy’s cock and sucking the little seepings of pre-come off my fingers – especially if the guy’s watching.

    But if your spunk ends up in my mouth you’d better hope it tastes ok because I *will* be sharing it with you. In a kiss afterwards at least, or spitting it back in your mouth ;)

  • Mimmicobba says:

    Well I like the way I taste a lot of the time same ways I like the way I smell, I don’t want candy flavoured jizz but tasting ‘good’ knocks down a barrier for me, I definitely enjoy you more if you don’t taste of artichoke or sour plums

  • Yes. And yes.
    Spunk is good for you. And agree, fucking is awesome but fuck with a spunk is just right.
    My favourite is seeing the act, the spunk squirting out of an erect cock and my mouth rushing forward to catch it, greedily lick it off, suck out every last drop.

  • Ash says:

    I love the taste of spunk – my own and others. I never leave a mess when I have a wank because I always clean it up and drink it all.

    One of my former lady friends used to suck my cock, then keep it in her mouth and I’d have to get it all out with my tongue.

    And no, pineapple does nothing but make it a little sweeter. I’ve experimented with such. Not worth the hassle. I like mine anyway. It’s sorta salty.

  • crafty banker says:

    I love the feeling when a cunt bears down hard, grips and dips onto the end of my cock, like it’s willing, feeling, sucking the cum out of me. It just makes me push the harder to get as deep as possi…

    Oops, sorry. I’ll wipe that up, shall I?

  • Mike says:

    My girlfriend recently made me wank until I came over her cunt, lick her clean to orgasm, then she cleaned the remainder from my lips. Very hot!

    Is there a way to make it taste like lager, though?

  • bendyover girl says:

    I like to lick the pre-cum off my man’s cock, then hold my mouth open while I wank him to orgasm. Just tastes so – him! Yum…

    Oh yeah: crafty banker – you made me cum.

  • Buddha says:

    Nice post. I’m returning the case of pineapple I just bought.

  • Little Lotte says:

    My only issue is when there’s so much of it that I can’t swallow it in one; that’s hard. I love sucking my fellas cock until he’s whimpering and grabbing at my hair and the back of my neck and my throat and the spunk is just a case of “yesss… look what I did to you… you’re totally spent” and the look of wonder on his face as I lick my lips as though he’s delicious because he hates the taste of his own cum….
    Ahem….

    That being said, I do find the word spunk hilarious because I have been told it’s a brand of chewing gum in Germany.

  • I haven’t enjoyed a cock I haven’t enjoyed the come from. All the spunk tasted different (none of it sweet) and all of it tasted delicious. More please :)

    xx Dee

  • mahatmaman says:

    not mad about the taste of my spunk but enjoy tasting pre-cum. Swirling my finger under my foreskin and sucking it. I do love smelling cum after sex or wanking. Even now I can shoot on my chest thanks to pc exercises.

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