Where are all the male sex blogs? Are there any good male sex bloggers? Why yes, there are. Here is a list of some excellent male sex bloggers.
Much like any sex blog, male sex blogs often specialise in different things, so while you’ll get one that is a treasure-trove of sex toy reviews, you’ll get another that focuses on erotic writing. Still others that are a combination of the two, or something more like my own, which focuses on true stories with occasional political rants. Many are blogs I read often and love, others are ones I am including to make sure I have a full list. If you’re a guy and you’re not included, get in touch and if your blog is active I’m more than happy to add you.
Please click on the links, go and read some of their work, and follow them on the relevant social media channels. Then please continue reading beyond the list, where I intend to utterly blow your mind, and potentially piss you off.
- Become Her Slave
- The Big Gay Review
- The Black Pomegranate
- Break Out
- The Chaste Cyclist
- CJ Forrest
- Cyborg Dicks
- Denying Thumper
- This D/s life
- The Drew Duality
- Easily Aroused
- The Erotic Writer
- Exhibit Unadorned
- Frisky in the 916
- The Guyliner (not technically a sex blogger but he does write a lot about sex and relationships LIFE and I think he’s fucking spectacular so I wanted to include him)
- He’s Naked
- Incendiaire Reviews
- Innocent Loverboy
- I think you earthlings are crazy
- The Intellectual Homosexual
- Jerusalem Mortimer
- Kilted Wookie
- London Love and Lust
- The Long Bean
- Love Walter
- Men’s Toy Box
- Merry Frolics
- Mr Racy
- Mr Wills House of Thrills
- My Dissolute Life
- My Name Is Not Jack
- My Sex Life With Lola
- Pain as Pleasure
- Perineum Plunders
- Ruffled Sheets
- Sex in Words
- The Sex Experiment
- Silverdrop’s Toybox
- Stranded in Toronto
- Unchaste Ray
If you’re a sex blogger who identifies as a man, and you’re not on this list, please leave a comment or email me – I am more than happy to add you to the list as I’d like to keep adding to it! Please be aware, too, that I haven’t left anyone out on purpose so if you do email me could you be nice about it rather than ‘I’m surprised you haven’t included me’ – don’t be surprised, I am scatty as fuck at the moment. Ta.
I don’t like the ‘male sex blog’ question
Please don’t let what I’m about to say detract from the excellence of any of the gents mentioned above: many of them are utterly fantastic.
Here’s the deal, though: I get occasional emails in which people ask me ‘do you know of any good male sex bloggers?’ and I smile and say ‘you should check out these ones.’ Yesterday, when Molly published the list of top 100 sex bloggers (an incredible feat which involves her reading and assessing so many sex blogs I’d not be surprised if she now sees WordPress templates in her sleep) someone left this comment:
“I’m not unhappy about this but as far as I can tell there are few if any male bloggers on the list. Just curious to know if this was down to some sort of policy, or whether female sex bloggers are just better and/or more numerous?”
This comment reminded me of all the times I’ve been asked the question ‘where are the male sex blogs?’ – I’m not going to answer that question any more, save to link people to this blog post. Why? Because I feel like someone’s popping their head into a space that – unlike many others – is female-dominated, and the first thing they’re doing is challenging the lack of men.
Male sex blogs and representation
For many many many years there have been industries which women have been shut out of. There are still many in which women are seen as ‘token’ or ‘surprising.’ And yet, while there are some amazing campaigns to try and encourage more women into these industries, there are rarely people who pop up and say ‘oh could you recommend me someone who does this but who also is a woman?’ I’ve given countless work referrals in my time – for freelance deveopers, designers, writers, editors, videographers etc. No one ever came back to me and said ‘hey could you recommend me specifically a woman who could do this?’
If you actually do this, then fair enough: you’re an outlier, but feel free to ask about male sex bloggers. Likewise if you read a lot of sex blogs, and you support the female sex bloggers who also write fantastic stuff: great. But if your first chat – your first contact whatsoever – with a woman in a female-dominated space involves saying ‘are there any men who do this?’ then I hope you can understand why I’m a little bit frustrated.
Perhaps the reason it stands out to you is not because there’s a travesty of justice which is harming men: maybe it’s because you are so used to seeing majority-male lists and panels that when the ratio is flipped it sticks out like a sore thumb. In fact, so sore is the thumb that it took just one year (one!) for hot sex site Kinkly to add a ‘top male sex blogs’ category to its top 100. I don’t know if they did this as a result of pressure, or because they found the ratio-change odd themselves. I’m not criticising, I just thought it was worth pointing out because there are so many industries in which women have been fighting for representation for years and years – yet this one, where men are less numerous, corrects for that deficit pretty much straight away.
In my ideal world, there will be no industry in which you’re more likely to get ahead because of your gender. But in this world – this imperfect one in which there are plenty of places where men succeed more easily than women – I feel like it’s a bit insulting to pop up to one of the women and go ‘hey, where are the men?’ Especially if you’re asking that question directly to me, a female sex blogger. It’s as if you’ve stumbled across my work and gone ‘you know who’d do this better? A bloke.’
And I am not joking: I have had emails in which ‘point me to some male sex blogs?’ is the first question people ask. This isn’t a petty thing: it happens often.
There are many fantastic and talented men who blog about sex, and they deserve your support. But the women of this industry don’t deserve your support any less because in this context they outnumber the blokes. The broader picture is one in which we struggle to get taken seriously: see also anyone who isn’t cis. Do you know what no one has ever asked me? “Do you know of any great trans/non-binary sex bloggers?” There are many different intersecting things that can cause people to be taken less seriously in any given industry. If you only care when you think it’s men who miss out, then I’d urge you to have a think.
Why did I write this post? Because this annoys me. Because I’ll keep getting this question. And above all, because I know that this post – including as it does the keyword ‘male sex blogs’, will get a fair whack of traffic. If you’ve made it this far without leaving an angry comment, then thank you. You’ll find my blogroll in the right hand column, or below if you’re viewing on mobile. Click the link below and please read some brilliant women.
Also, if you fancy having a go at sex blogging (it’s deeply fun and I love it with all my heart) then check out my guide on how to start a sex blog, which in turn links through to some other awesome resources.