I am positively gleeful about this week’s guest blog because… well… I have an affinity with this fabulous anonymous writer. She and her partner are happily childfree, having known for a long time that they definitely don’t want kids. But at the same time, they play in a space that is outrageously sexy – and very much one of my ‘things’ these days too. Here’s a hot introduction to this writer’s breeding kink…
Note that this piece contains honorifics like ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’ in a role play context – the participants are definitely not related, and everyone featured is well over 18.
I’m happily childfree… but I have a breeding kink
Ironically, if I had to pinpoint when I started to really crave having my tits sucked, it was a few months after I started taking birth control nearly fifteen years ago. My body, on the pill, had the side effect of weight gain, and my bra size went up. One evening during foreplay, I had the inspiration to ask my longtime partner to pretend my tits had actual milk in them, and to call me ‘mommy’. When he did, it opened the door to new fantasies we could explore.
Thanks to the beauty industry doing its work, I’ve had more bad days than good when it comes to body insecurity. Like I’m sure is the case with many others, I did not enjoy focus of any kind being paid to my stomach. But being someone who menstruates, my belly bloats at a certain time each month. My porn interests had slowly and subtly shifted to breeding, and one day I decided I wanted to feel my partner’s hands cradle my belly as though I were pregnant. I was a bit nervous he would think I was weird, but after so many years together, I knew I could trust him not to judge me, and let me know what he thought. He was, fortunately, enthusiastically receptive to the idea. That unlocked a second door, and became a big part of our sessions.
We’ll often start in the shower, with him washing me and running his hands up and down my tits and stomach. It’s almost a cozy feeling, as though I’m carrying for him and he’s taking care of me. When we move to the bedroom, he’ll slowly open my towel and he’ll tell me I’m beautiful before starting to suck and fondle. Later, phrases such as “I’m not on birth control.” and asking him to breed me, make for some great climaxes. I can’t come from penetration, so he’ll talk me through it after he’s finished, using the fantasy that I’m far along, riding him, and feeding him my milk. It’s such a sensual and hot image that gets me off every time.
For people who have this kink, there’s something so attractive about the stage directly before having a baby, when the body’s growing something and changes you briefly into a fertile goddess. Even pretending it makes me feel sexy and primal, and seeing my husband react to that, knowing we’re on the same page in that it’s actually not real, makes it hotter.
In perfect contrast to our intimate moments, we are both happily childfree, and I want no part of being pregnant whatsoever. In light of this realization that we would never want kids, my partner had a vasectomy ten years ago. To this day, I remain so paranoid about getting pregnant that we still use condoms, and he gets his sperm levels checked every few years to make absolutely sure we’re still in the clear. Once we both realized what we wanted, the anxiety we’d felt around the assumption of having kids was lifted, and we felt very secure in and happy with our decision.
People can’t always articulate why they have a particular kink. On reflection, I’d say this one stems from this need to feel in control. It’s also why I’ve never drunk or done drugs: I hate when things are going on in my body that cause pain and I don’t know the cause of them or when they’ll stop. Pregnancy comes with a whole host of symptoms, both expected and unexpected, that I don’t want to deal with. What you wind up with on the other side is, so I hear, worth it (I’ll take their word for it). I have ADHD and am on the autism spectrum, and for me all it takes is a screaming baby to set my teeth on edge. I know that the parents will not get sleep in those early months, that their routines will often be derailed, and they’ll constantly get sick because their offspring is constantly sick. It’s not for me, and that’s okay.
Years on, I still love my breeding kink, and it’s still one we play out regularly. The ‘mommy’ moniker didn’t last, but he loves when I call him ‘daddy’. I recognize that, as we get older, this form of make-believe may change or lose its appeal. I’m a little concerned I’ll still be into it ten or so years from now when I’m menopausal (because what does that mean?). Like anything that feels good and isn’t hurting anyone, I believe it’s best not to overthink it.
We’re childfree, but we’ve found a safe form of expression for this breeding kink. I’m glad I found it early enough that I’ve been able to derive pleasure from it for so many years.