Sexy lingerie versus casual sleepwear

I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that sexy lingerie is for other people. The kind of people who can smile coquettishly and raise a solitary eyebrow, who sashay through a room rather than stomp across it, and who lounge sexily on a bedspread rather than throw themselves onto it in exhaustion after a long day.

When I smile coquettishly I just look smug, and although I’d love to do the saucy eyebrow-raise, when I attempt it I just look like I’m trying (and failing) to remember pi.

Lace knickers, half-cup bras, suspender belts and thongs and camis and silky, see-through dressing gowns that press against my tits to show the colour contrast of nipples and skin… ah, I’d love to be able to wear this stuff like the ladies in the lingerie catalogues. But even though I can’t pull this stuff off, there’s one kind of outfit that I find even sexier…

Casual versus sexy lingerie

Luckily, life isn’t just limited to one kind of sexy. While some of it is due to body type, a fairly huge chunk is down to personal comfort. So-and-so might wear silk knickers because they feel good against the skin. Another person might love the constricted tightness of a well-laced corset. While both of these things give me a tingle, I think the kind of underwear that best fits my own fantasies is much more casual.

Recently I ventured into the very particular hell that was the January Sales. I’m not much of a shopper, so I limited my exploration purely to the underwear section of M&S – a bra-strewn battleground of purple lace and ‘50% off’ tags. Ten years ago I’d have been drawn to the frills and lace and colour – the smallest knickers and uplifting bras.

This time I was drawn to the sleepwear – to soft fabrics and tops twinned with pyjama bottoms. Warmth, comfort, and the kind of casual nightclothes that you can lounge around the house in without startling your housemates.

Sexy pyjamas

“I got something cool,” I told him, as we met up post-shopping in the food court.

“Oooh, what is it?”

And I pulled from my bag a pair of flannel tartan sleepshorts – frilly, small, girlish and comfortable. No lace or ribbons, and they certainly weren’t crotchless. His eyes lit up.

“They’re good for…”

“…spanking, I know.”

The thing about PJs is that you can pull them down. You can push yourself up against me at night and I can feel your erection through the thin material. You can run your hands over the outside of my t-shirt-top and pinch my nipples when they grow hard through the fabric.

Before we even get to bed you can grab my wrist with one hand, give a quick tug and I’m over your knee. Another yank and the cutesy, innocent shorts come down so you can smack my bottom firmly with your big hands. Framed in flannel rather than black lace, I’m no longer a sexy temptress wiggling her bum seductively so you’ll touch it, I’m just a really bad girl who deserves a spanking.

Later, in bed, when I’m red raw and warmed by your hand, you can push the loose fabric to one side to rub a hand up against my cunt, checking how wet I am. It’s more of a surprise because I haven’t broadcast it with a special outfit – just worn something that, since I bought it, I’ve worn every day. I’ll pretend I’m wearing it because it’s cute, and play-act that I genuinely do get cold in bed.

As you reach a casual finger into the back of my pyjama shorts, pulling them down to expose my arse, one hand on your dick as you get ready to push it inside me, I decide I kind of like this casual thing. Crotchless knickers might be fun, but you miss the excitement of pulling them down.

I used to sleep naked. Since I hit puberty I’ve always slept naked. It just seems more practical and comfortable, having that skin-to-skin contact, and feeling the warmth of every curve and angle of you as you smoosh yourself up behind me.

But when I sleep naked every day, and sex is something that often starts when there are no clothes to be removed, I forget that there’s one thing more fun than being naked: getting stripped. Some people prefer to be stripped of lace or leather – I think I prefer flannel and cotton and warm, casual softness.

It’s easier to remove than a corset or suspenders, but more importantly the outfit comes with an added layer of presumed chastity.

In short: the more innocent I can pretend to be, the hotter it is when you defile me.


  • Funloving Girl says:

    Haha GOTN, sounds like you are getting old!! Only saying as I can relate… Unlike you though, I did recently buy sexy lingerie to impress my man. He whipped it off me withon seconds, I swear he hardly noticed in his desperation to get us both naked. From then on I’ve stuck to comfy undies and spent the money on toys instead…

    • Girl on the net says:

      I don’t think it’s an age thing! You don’t have to be young to wear lingerie, or indeed old to wear nighties and flannel PJs. I sympathise with the speed thing – when I’m in lingerie I don’t want someone to whip it off – chances are it took me bloody ages to get on. I want to get fucked in it or not at all. If it comes off in thirty seconds, I’m left wondering whether it was worth putting on in the first place =) Also often if I do wear things that take a while to get on (corset, suspenders, etc) it’s because of the way they feel – I like the restrictive tightness of a corset, or the feel of stockings on my legs. So I want them to stay on while we’re fucking, not get torn off and left on the floor…

  • Too fecking right.
    I’ve got a selection of beautiful Agent Provocateur naughties that set me back several hundred quid. Played about in them a few times but they are all so pretty, all so daintily made one feels almost unworthy.
    And here in comes my Mum and her rather terrible taste in clothes. She gave me a top. A yellow cotton tight fitting thing with a low cut cleavage and some buttons giving it a wenchy slant, gauche as fuck and deffo not safe for street – just a cheapo looking thing that would sabotage my minimalist style. Chucked it in the bottom drawer and forgot about it. One night, I dug it out to wear it to bed. Man caught me putting it on and said with narrowed eyes: What the fuck is that? Come here…
    He played with my tits in that top for ages until I begged for him to stick his dick in to end it all. What turned him on was the suburban Eastern European housewife quality to it (and I should know, I’m from that neck of the woods). It’s now our prized sex play possession.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Oh blimey, you’ve hit upon a very particular thing that a gentleman I know has a thing for: tits in just a t-shirt-type-top with no bra. Something infinitely fascinating and squishy and lovely about being able to touch someone’s skin through the fabric, especially as I never go braless out and about, so it’s a rare and unusual treat for him to have the chance to fondle tits through a t-shirt.

      • Toby says:

        Undressing a girl is something that I enjoy, although I enjoy it more when I get to take off her underwear first (with the rest of her clothes still on). Taking off he knickers is either easy (skirt/dress) or impossible (jeans). Taking off her bra is more fun, usually I’d pop it open through her t-shirt/shirt/dress, she won’t notice at this point, then I’d slide my hand up get sleeve and pull her bra strap through and out over her hand (this is usually when they notice it’s undone and I smile at the “when did you do that? ” comment), the other arm follows and then the bra comes out. That’s when I get to play with her boobs through her top :D

      • Desire on wheels says:

        Yep, it’s one of the good points about when the weather is so cold that I have to sleep in jammies rather than naked. There’s something about the fact that a bra would normally be there as a stern barrier, plus the deliciousness of soft cotton, worn even thinner and softer with age, loose enough to easily slip a hand under.

  • RB says:

    All of this reminds me of Troy in Community when he’s injected with truth serum – “I’m more turned on by women in pyjamas than lingerie – I JUST WANT TO KNOW THEY’RE COMFORTABLE!” –

    But, yes, I’m with you all the way here. Kink on social media seems to focus hugely on sexy underwear and corsets and stockings and instricate lingerie lacy…things, and while I own a couple of small bits, I really don’t see the big deal. The harder you try the less relaxed you are, in that area.

    Also, suspenders are a fucking bitch to do up.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Hehe, I am a big fan of Community, so am delighted that you added that =)

      Also: amen on the suspender thing. I’ve worn them a fair few times but never seem to be able to get the hang of ’em.

      • Ay None says:

        I wear stockings and suspenders on a regular basis, not for the sexy value but because I find them more comfortable than tights. They don’t crush my gut and I don’t end up with a crotch six inches below where it should be. I actually buy tights and chop the tops off to make them into everyday stockings.

        So no problem fastening them for me. That said, it depends on your garment. I have, for reasons that don’t need to be brought up here, one of those one-piece numbers that includes suspenders, and yes, that’s a bugger to do up, especially at the back. A regular suspender belt, on the other hand, is easy. Put stockings on, attach suspenders to stockings, then fasten belt like a bra at the back. Simple.

  • massage_me_deep says:

    Lingerie had always been for other people, because it plays on men’s (and women’s, though that’s not typically the audience it’s designed to please) highly visual arousal mechanism. The women who lounge around in stockings, lacy things so delicate that a harsh word may tear them, tight sexy thong panties and heels in magazines and catalogs are doing so in the only place where that kind of activity takes place: in front of a professional photographer’s lens on a perfectly appointed fashion shoot set while working on the clock!! Real women don’t wear this stuff to lounge in; the more lacy and provocatively sexy an item, the less it gets worn, not because it’s necessarily lingering exiled in a drawer somewhere (though, because of how uncomfortable these things are, this is a typical fate for such items) but because these items are quickly stripped off of the wearer, whether after the first shag when their partner is ready for round 2, or in the very beginning when lust overtakes the person and they have to feel their lover’s skin, all of it, and stripping that cloth away is like opening a present. It’s just as much fun to strip as to BE stripped, after all. But far more delicious to molest and fondle your lover under their comfortable garments, using the softness of the items as tools to increase sensation without fear of damaging it, and then you can just back off and leave them panting, longing for more and becoming more wanton, without the elaborate ritual required to put clothing back.

  • Darla says:

    I love a little leather and lace once in awhile and stilettos look great with a cuff around the ankle, but some of the hottest sex starts with feeling him get rock hard through pajama pants. I vote for all of it.

  • How funny, I just wrote about (posting on Thursday) how he found me in pajamas that I would have never worn in front of him, as they weren’t sexy, in my mind. And yet, they’re something he loves to see me in, and they turn him on.
    It’s all a matter of taste. And now that you’ve mentioned it, I do miss being stripped, because I always sleep naked as well. I’ll have to solve that dilemma.

  • CM says:

    How funny – think I bought those exact M&S tartan shorts just before Christmas because I knew I’d be sharing a bed with an ex after a festive night out with friends in a different city. He has a new girlfriend so I needed something cute but not presumptive in case fighting over the duvet was the only activity we got up to. We were both trashed, I was getting changed, he was already lying in bed and watching me…. He announced he was hard and that was it, game on for some incredible sex. It was a filthy, naughty one-off (repeated hungover the next morning) and a bit of a power trip for me knowing he has a girlfriend… All thanks to some tartan pyjamas.

  • Jo says:

    Lingerie, like high heels, looks great… but what a pain in the ass to wear. My problem with tight, lacy panties / thongs is that it’s so hard to get your hand inside because the fabric isn’t stretchy… flannel pajama bottoms are much easier. And ever so sexy, especially when worn commando.

  • Jaime says:

    I don’t really know why the suspender belt thing still has fans. There must have been a time, maybe no later than the 1950s, when women wore them for practical reasons, like having stockings stay up. Men would get glimpses of thigh which the suspender stripe, and when they got lucky and undressed the woman, there’d be this yummy bit of bare thigh between the lower edge of the knickers and the stocking tops, with the suspenders providing a sort of racing stripe.
    I can see why it appealed to men of that generation.
    But to me that means very little: it’s a sort of historical re-enactment of something I never experienced (and that doesn’t mean much to me), when women dress up in suspenders.

    But pantihose, especially torn or at least laddered, or cotton knickers with socks: that’s in my experience, and what I encountered once I had the social skills to start unwrapping women’s clothes.

    Girlfriend of mine would wear a pair of cotton knickers with monkeys on them when she wanted to get spanked. Generally worked within ten seconds or so. (There’s a book in that: “How to train your dom”.)

    As for the joy of pulling down chaste, practical pyjama shorts, I, uh, endorse what you say. Ahem.

  • Exquisite Catastrophe says:

    Yes! I’m all about the jammies. Particular favourites being a pair of long black pajama bottoms with tiny multicoloured stars, teamed with a stretchy black vest top and no bra. As ensembles go, it’s the one most likely to have me bent over the arm of the sofa within minutes. Also has the added benefit that the pants can be pulled up really quickly should our flatmate return mid-spank and we need to feign innocent nonchalance.

  • Sunshine says:

    I visited the Ann Summers sale yesterday in my lunch break, and got myself some new ‘bits’.
    They had the desired effect when I got home and modelled them, but I insisted on keeping them on. Nothing I love more than having my knickers pulled to oneside to make way for a finger to slide in, and the fucking in the full ensemble made for some great photos!

    As I write this now though, I’m in fleece PJ’s which he’ll be slipping into just as easily later.

  • Desire on wheels says:

    Yes, why is so much “sexy” clothing horribly uncomfortable? I suppose it’s a sexist thing, the idea that women are there as objects of desire to be looked at, and no one’s bothering about what we think or feel. Wearing a corset is sexy. Wearing scratchy lace, in my experience, can make you feel sexy due to looking pretty, but the physical sensation is just annoying. I don’t know what silk is like, I stopped wearing it when I went veggie in childhood. But soft cotton feels wonderful on your skin, and it breathes, unlike something nastily sweaty. And you can wash it easily, which means you don’t need to worry about what might get on it during sex, or keep it in the laundry basket for ages until you get around to hand-washing it.

    Besides, it’s all in how you wear it. I wear maternity sleep bras, because I have fibromyalgia and get pain issues with ordinary bras, and my knickers tend towards more generous coverage, because I’m not as thin as I once was and find minuscule knickers to be horribly uncomfortable. Thankfully they come in lovely deep colours these days, but they’re still not exactly skimpy undies. My partner still thinks I look hot, and I think I look hot, and we admire and jump each other, so it all works out fine. Whereas I’ve been in the position of wearing sexy undies for a partner who was a bit too busy to come and ogle me, and it was miserable.

  • Desire on wheels says:

    I’ve worked out another reason why I like this post. A lot of the time, I’m reading your blog for hot fantasy writing, the stuff that is fun to read about but which I’d never do in real life. And that is awesome. But it’s also nice to talk about the things that are hot, if less spectacular, in everyday life, and I have a definite soft spot for the more domestic sorts of eroticism. The little moments: a passing grope on the way to get a glass of water, ogling your partner when they strip off for a shower before work, being pushed against the wall for a minute of kissing before going back to cooking. And this post fits in well with that. Plus cotton really is a lovely fabric, and its sexiness should be more appreciated.

    On another note, you know when you wrote, with sublime snark, about how sex toy manufacturers all seem to think that women should be treated as little girls? Yeah, that happens with sleepwear as well. I do not want teddy bears or Hello Kitty on my jammies, I’m in my late thirties, for fuck’s sake. So you end up leaping on tartan because at least it doesn’t have pink bunnies all over it.

    • Desire on wheels says:

      Oh, and I now have a really sexy…thermal top. From M&S via eBay. But seriously, it’s got a big scoop neckline and is so soft, and because it’s cream and thin it’s really see-through. My partner is going to be a drooling wreck when he sees me wearing it. Now, should I wear it with my bra clearly visible underneath, or not?

  • ST says:

    “I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that sexy lingerie is for other people.” Sames. I never keep sexy lingerie on for very long, even. But I could wear just a t-shirt for the whole show and the after party (aka sex and netflix.)

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