Sexy boots, fishnet hold-ups and other confidence tricks

Image taken by someone, of me, a while ago.

I wear sexy boots because I imagine they make me look better when I’m bent over and being fucked. I wear boots because they make me feel powerful. And I wear boots because without them I am just a person, and a person is a frightening thing to be.

Like a decent corset, good boots are a foreplay accessory. The act of putting them on – zipping them up tight over my calves, then taking those first few steps with a hip-rolling swagger – gives me shivers. They’re the sign of the start of a fuck, long before anyone’s started taking any clothes off. So when I saw that this week’s Kink of the Week topic was ‘boots’, I couldn’t resist writing a little something. Because sexy boots are not just hot: they’re so much more than that.

Sexy boots aren’t just good because of what they look like, or what they do to my legs and feet and bum. I wear sexy boots because they make me feel tall and scary. The kind of person who’d beckon to a stranger over a crowded bar and whisper in his ear that we should fuck in the toilets. The kind of person who’d lift her skirt to show she was wearing no knickers, then sashay off to a private place and wait for him to come and join me.

I wear these particular sexy boots because they make me well over six foot tall, and funnily enough it’s easier to deal with guys telling me I’m too massive or intimidating if I genuinely feel like I could be. I don’t picture crushing them beneath my heels, exactly, but I do picture their faces twisted in an agony of lust as I tell them they can touch themselves, but not me.

Boots are power. And protection.

I wear boots because they make me feel feminine in the only way I can really countenance it: by turning my ‘slutty goth’ dial up to eleven. Fishnet hold-ups. Black nail varnish. Dark lipstick and cleavage and definitely no knickers.

Sexy boots aren’t just foreplay, or hotness: they’re the superhero outfit that I put on when my normal self won’t quite cut it. When I feel small and weak and worried, they give me that extra kick of confidence. Because who, exactly, would wear these boots if they weren’t brimming with confidence? It’s a trick – a sleight of hand. Like my piercings and my big smile and the too-loud laugh.

Fuck-me boots are part of a costume. The same costume I put on when I sit at the computer and write things as GOTN, secretly hating her a little for being better than real-life me.

I wear sexy boots because I imagine they make me look better when I’m bent over and being fucked. Because they make me feel powerful. Because they make men look at me funny, and sometimes getting funny looks is better than no looks at all.

But above all I wear sexy boots because without them I’m just a person, and that’s quite a frightening thing to be.


Check out other people’s Kink of the Week writing…


  • Eric Smith says:

    Boots yes, also the dark lipstick, no knickers and so on – but not the fishnet hold-ups. Part of the pleasure of clothes is tearing them off during sex. Hold-ups are … hard work to tear off. I have fucked plenty of girls wearing hold-ups but I would have fucked them (even) better if they had been wearing stockings with suspenders that I could have gently helped to remove.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Oh wow, in that case it’s such a relief that my outfit choices are my own to make, and not subject to sign-off from a committee of blog commenters.

      Honestly I wouldn’t normally have responded with snark if you’re expressing a personal preference for something but given that this post is about what makes *me* feel good, and better able to deal with the random judgments of other people, it’s ironic that the first comment is from someone telling me what not to wear.

  • Mrs Fever says:


    All the YES to this! =D

  • Molly says:

    You are so right about confidence tricks, high heels work like that for me too. Putting them on helps me to be that thing I want to be and I love them for that. Oh and you are amazingly tall in those boots and you look fucking awesome in them


  • Fucking Badass!!!
    I have never been one for a chunky heel to wear for me. I seem to also have issues with them and I donno why. But I still love the look of them. And those are badass!!! :)

  • Jac. says:

    I buy my girlfriend boots for Christmas. Black, heeled with shiny silvery bits. As the old cliché goes – they’re a present for both of us!

    I love to stoop and unzip and remove them for her when she gets home. Yes, boots = power.

    Wonderful post!

  • Bee says:

    I am so with you on those confidence tricks, boots are mine as well! And for what’s it’s worth the fishnets, dark lippy and goth look totally work for me too!

    I know I said it before, those boots are frigging amazing!

  • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

    Just getting caught up on these blogs… this was a sweet one.

    I particularly like ‘the superhero outfit that I put on when my normal self won’t quite cut it’. That’s the secret power of fetishwear in general. When I finally got some rubber clothing, I found wearing it made me feel like Batman. :) All such things add to self-confidence, for the reasons you explain here – they let us play the part of being cooler, more confident people.

    Anyway, those boots are great! I may have to get a pair like that…

    • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

      And on the ‘intimidating’ thing – that reminds me, I met a woman in a club who said she likes to wear fetish clothing in public, because she said it makes most men feel too intimidated to approach her and harass her. That made me laugh, but also made me want to cry.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Ohhhh definitely, and I’m delighted you get the superhero thing too! Your comment just reminded me of a piece I saw a week or so ago about a photographer who was capturing people’s ‘everyday’ looks versus their ‘fet’ looks – you might enjoy it like I did, it really nails that dual-identity/fetishwear-as-superhero-costume thing I think:

      And if you do fancy getting yourself some boots like that, the brand is Demonia – they were basically the go-to boot for goths I loved when I was younger, and when I grew up and got money of my own I decided that fuck it, I could totally have a pair =)

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