Tag Archives: sex advice

Sacred sex and kink evangelism

Let’s talk about sacred sex, via the medium of delicious toast.

I don’t think bread is sacred. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t sacred to you. Some of you might do the church thing, for instance, where you kneel at the altar and the priest gives you either the literal body of Christ or something representative enough that to pop it in the toaster would be sacrilege. Judaism has some pretty cool sacred bread stuff too, if I remember right from R.E. classes. Or if you observe Ramadan and eat bread during iftar, then as you chew you might marvel in the wonder of what God does for you/is to you/means to you, and have a nice spiritual moment.

I don’t have a bread ritual, though – I tend to just toast it, butter it, then eat it standing up in the kitchen.

Roughly the same applies with sex.

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Two things: relationship listicles + virtual reality porn

Two things this week, to power you through Monday with a combination of fun and frustration. This week we’re looking at relationship listicles, and why they’re about as helpful for your relationship as those quizzes they used to print in Just Seventeen magazine, and then some excellent news about virtual reality porn.

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10 Things Women Do In Bed That Men HATE

When it comes to making broad, ridiculous generalisations about relationships, you can’t beat a good bit of clickbait. Recently I gave some brilliant advice on things men do in bed that women hate, and I imagine since then that all men have stopped doing these things and everyone in a straight relationship has breathed a sigh of relief. So because I’m a fan of equality here’s the opposite: 10 things women do in bed that men hate.

Naturally all men have identical sexual tastes, which I have discerned via magic, so the best way for you to cater to your partner’s sexual tastes is to take advice from me, even though you have never met me and cannot be entirely sure I’m not making the whole thing up. Still, you can tell that my advice is sound because I have numbered my tips from 1-10, and that is how facts work. (more…)

Two things: a video of nerdy guys fighting, and some bad sex advice

Two things you should check out this week. In the ‘bad’ column: some truly appalling sex advice. Then to cheer you up: a hot Youtube video of nerdy boys having a fight.

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“The best blow job” will haunt me forever

A few weeks back, I gave the best blow job I’ve ever given. Apparently. I don’t like writing that down so starkly – it’s far easier to talk about how mediocre I am in bed, or how incompetent I am with certain sex toys.

But I’m writing it because the sentence itself will spin round in my head forever. I don’t want anyone to tell me that anything was ‘the best blow job ever’, because I’m primed to root through any compliment until I eventually find a negative. And so this week I’m tortured by this one simple fact:

None of my other blow jobs were as good as that one. 

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