Me, explaining my hard limits to someone I have never fucked before

Image by the incredible Stuart F Taylor. Zoom in for detail.

So I’m definitely SUPER into rough sex and degradation and stuff, but I’d rather be degraded for how slutty I’m being than for how I look. If we’re talking hard limits you should know I am very sensitive when it comes to my body so ‘you filthy little bitch’ is A-OK, but ‘pig’: not so much. I’m up for butt stuff but I’d like fair warning so I can do a bit (OK, a lot) of prep for anal in general. I’m not into age-play, so you’re never my fucking Daddy and I guess the MAIN thing… like my hardest of all hard limits… is… could you please be really careful with my glasses?

I’ve got terribly bad eyesight, you see, and this is my only pair of glasses. I had to get my eyes tested during Big Covid Times and they changed my prescription cos it was giving me migraines, and then bollocked me for buying my glasses off the internet. Apparently I hadn’t measured my pupil distance properly and the slightly-off-centre lenses were making my head explode. They’re cheap on the internet but WILDLY EXPENSIVE in the shop for some reason and…

Hmm? Bondage? Oh yeah I’m into that. Just be aware that I am wildly impatient so if you’re not a total knot expert I’d rather you just told me to stay still on pain of getting fucked in the ass than pissed about with a box knot for twenty minutes. Only two guys have ever tied me brilliantly and one of them was this one, so you have some high fucking standards to live up to.

But back to the glasses, sorry. Short version: I only have one pair. And if they break that’s like another eighty quid or something. And in the meantime I don’t know how I’d even book an eye test because I wouldn’t be able to see the computer screen to book it and I’m not using an actual phone, I’ve got anxiety.

Oh yeah and spanking’s great but I prefer thick, thuddy whacks with a belt to thin, whippy strikes with a cane. Not exactly hard limits but worth knowing, I reckon.

But… sorry to keep going back to it but the glasses thing is really important: like, obviously don’t just take them OFF for the WHOLE SEX. I want to see you when you’re pounding it in. And I want to watch your face in the mirror – you have got mirrors in your bedroom, haven’t you? For the fucking? Oh phew cool thank God because I like to see the look in your eyes just as I squeeze my cunt muscles around your dick.

Haha yeah that bit was hot wasn’t it? But just before we go on I need to stress the glasses thing again. Like… It’s REALLY important. I want to be able to see you, so if we’re doing… shall I say… non-close-up work? Wide shot positions? Like if you’re fucking me missionary but knelt up so your face is further away, or if we’re doing doggy and the only way I can see you is in the aforementioned bedroom mirror then I would really like to keep them on if possible. I need to see your face.

Likewise when I’m sucking your dick – don’t go grabbing my head so hard you nudge my glasses askew. Let the artist get to work.

But don’t feel like you can’t interact with the glasses at all – you’re totally allowed to jizz all over them if you want to. Just don’t break them: that’s the hardest of hard limits.

Oh and feel free to help yourself to any and all sex toys, lube and condoms you can see strewn about you – if it’s on display, it’s fair game, feel free to add it into the mix at any point you fancy.

And… yeah… just to be clear… you know that if your face is more than one foot away from my face, the glasses should be on, yeah? And if we’re gonna be bumping faces, the glasses come off. And if you want to fuck up my face, the glasses need to be carefully laid to one side so they don’t hurtle across the room and smash somewhere, OK?

Final important thing to note is that I know I’ve been a bit of a brat with all these eyewear-based demands, so I’d really love it if you could take my glasses off me right now, lay them delicately on the bedside table, then turn back round and fully SLAP me in the face.

Thank you.


  • Chaf says:

    I thought ‘Daddy’ stuff is like an honorific dynamic rather than innately age-play

    • Girl on the net says:

      Either way, it makes me feel like a little girl and reminds me of my father so it’s a no from me. If I’m honest I find it quite uncomfortable how ‘daddy’ has been subsumed into kink culture so much that ‘calling a dominant Daddy’ is now seen as somehow standard for being a het fem sub? I am not gonna tell anyone not to do it, but I’m really uncomfortable when people assume I should/will just because I like to submit. There’s a whole blog post in this probably =)

  • Kayla Lords says:

    I’m 100% with you on all of this except I take my glasses off during all of it because I’m just too paranoid. My imagination fills in the blurry part for me so I pretend I know exactly what this looks like (also if we’re physically close enough — within a few inches — I see just fine, so it works out in the end, lol).

  • Neil says:

    This is wonderful, G.

  • Jamie says:

    Oh yeah, I identify with these boundaries *so* hard.

    I only wear glasses to read, but they need to be safely stowed after I’ve last used them and before you start fucking me. Sorry, but I can’t see my phone without them and that’s even more important than the fucking because how am I going to tweet about how good the fuck was?

    And the other boundaries: yes. Oh yes. Give me age play, but never call me or ask me to call you daddy, because I never called my dad daddy and we didn’t get on and he’s dead now and the psychological minefield you’re opening up is not conducive to good sex.

    Oh, and don’t ask me to make up a storyline on the fly. And I won’t ask you to either. This never works, as I discovered with a trick I once picked up in a park. We went back to his flat and he asked to be spanked. Fair enough. He wanted a story to go with it. Okay.

    Me: “You’ve been a naughty boy!”
    Him: “What have I done wrong, sir?”
    Me, wildly picking something at random: “You were caught smoking after school!”
    Him: “EUGH! NO! I hate smoking. It’s awful. Pick something else.”
    Me: …

    And that was the end of me asking people to make up stories as part of sex, because fuck that. Also he gave me thrush.

  • Delmer says:

    Any “well raised person” should be able to (first and foremost) aide by your limits and take the responsibility (should they break them) to replace your glasses either in exact kind, or different as chosen by you.

    Of course, finding a person who exhibits the qualities listed above and has the “tootsie roll center” of satisfying their lovers wants and needs is another matter entirely.

    A great read, I enjoyed it!

    • Girl on the net says:

      Honestly, not everyone could afford to replace my glasses and I don’t want to limit myself to only shagging people richer than me. That sounds not fun. It’s not just about the cost either, it’s *time* – if my glasses break I’m *unable to see* for a period of maybe 2 weeks? That’s a big risk. Tl;dr – not all problems can be solved with money.

  • Phillip says:

    I thought that thrush was something that afflicted horses. I guess it must be contagious? ‘Daddy’ was no where near an ‘honorific’ back in the day. ‘Daddy’ was a big can of worms and a real confusing mixed message. I have known ‘several’ (more than four/less than six) women for whom the concept of daddy was more fluid than it was for most of their friends. Thousands and thousands of dollars at the Psychiatrist did nothing that I could see about unraveling the writhing can of worms that was ‘daddy’.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Oh blimey no – humans get thrush too, some of us get it ALL THE TIME it’s so annoying. I get thrush every single time I take antibiotics, so whenever I’m prescribed them I always buy some thrush pills/cream at the same time cos I just know… two days after I’ve taken the antibiotics, like clockwork, my vag will start to itch like a motherfucker. I remember a romantic weekend away from a few years ago that was utterly and completely ruined because I’d had to take antibiotics for some sort of infection a few days before. I thought I’d taken the pill at the right time, but I hadn’t, and ended up giving thrush to my boyfriend too. We didn’t shag for the entire weekend, instead we swapped stories about how itchy we were and repeatedly nipped to the bathroom to slather on soothing thrush cream. Nightmare.

      [Edited to add – here’s some info from the NHS on what can cause thrush –

      And yeah, re: ‘daddy’, I might have a go at writing a post about this. The short version is I don’t want to piss on anyone else’s kinks, but I find the word extremely uncomfortable for a bunch of reasons, and it’s kind of tricky because in my line of work I come across it multiple times a day. That it’s growing in popularity means I probably have to get more used to it than I currently am.

  • Delmer says:

    I did not mean in any way that money could solve the problem.

    Nor did I intend to frame the problem as a classist issue, simply meant that one should take the responsibility for what they have done; which I suppose is indeed an issue of “class” albeit not financial “classes”.

    And, for the record, allow me to note that “taking responsibility” doesn’t instantaneously fix the situation; as you pointed out, you still suffer during the replacement period. I only tabled the aspect of taking responsibility as to not add insult to injury.

    Truly, the only way to preclude issues from broken eyewear is not to break them, which leads back into the “first and foremost” part of my reply, that being “abiding by your limits”.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Sorry, I think my comment was a bit spikier than it should have been. I’m a bit frantic at the moment and not being as careful as I usually am. I didn’t mean to insult you, I just wanted to point out that the ‘expensive’ thing is a barrier. And yeah, abiding by the limits is the only way to make sure glasses remain unbroken =)

  • Bruce says:

    Great read but the one thing I absolutely identify with in this, is the inaccurate measurement of pupil distance, and headaches.

  • fuzzy says:

    I think that you are correct in stating that there is at least one blog post in the whole “daddy” thing. Even with the (very) few sex partners i’ve had that liked it, it still made *me* uncomfortable. Of course there are people for who even the sight of a flogger makes them flinch, so I suppose we all have our squicks.

  • Purple Rain says:

    I enjoyed this post and would also like to read a post on the “daddy thing”!

  • Abi says:

    Haha, I totally get this. I’m so short sighted I can barely see so there’s always that awkward line between wanting to greedily watch as he pounds me or savour his face as he comes, and not wanting my glasses to be damaged…

  • EuphemiseThis says:

    100% with you on all of this, but especially the Daddy thing. Absolutely not my thing and I just don’t understand it at all. Would enjoy reading a whole post from you on that topic.

  • Quinn Rhodes says:

    I’m so here for how you’ve seamlessly woven together filthy sentences and practical discussions about limits in this blog post. It’s just *chef’s kiss*. I definitely also struggle with when to take my glasses off during sex – often taking them off feels more vulnerable than I want to be, but also I really like someone’s hand in my hair while I’m sucking them off and would rather not spend the entire time worrying that they’re going to nudge my glasses. I think I often find it harder to focus and be present when I’m not wearing them as well, because essentially the only time I ever take them off is to sleep and shower. (I also think I look far less like me/far less masculine without my glasses, and if I’m naked and having sex I want to hang on to something that makes me feel more connected to my gender/less dysphoric about my body? But then I love getting my face slapped so… Basically I relate a lot to this conundrum.)

    • Girl on the net says:

      Ooh yeah v good point re: vulnerability – that’s something that can be super hot when woven into a scene (like… if I am being super submissive the fact that I can’t see things adds an extra layer to that) but yeah if that’s not the tone of the scene, that vulnerability can be just a bit too exposing and lead to less sexy fun.

  • Daniel says:

    My most embarrassing sex story involves glasses. I went for a date in the first period of covid where you could go on dates, and hit it off with the young lady in question. We got very drunk in a park and to my surprise and delight she invited me back to hers. We stumbled back, picked up more booze on the way, attempted to cook and quickly moved to the bedroom. As I was drunk, I started by going down on her, and we both quickly realised my glasses were getting in the way. I theatrically tore them off and hurled them in the corner to demonstrate my enthusiasm.

    The next day, I woke up in a stranger’s bed with a belting hangover and no glasses. So I very sexily spent half an hour searching the floor of her bedroom and hall *by touch because I could not see* while only wearing my underwear. Needless to say I was not invited back for a second try…

    To date, the only one night stand I’ve ever had.

    • Girl on the net says:

      “Needless to say I was not invited back for a second try…”

      Oh mate I’m so sorry. But also this kind of implies she … saw you hunting for your glasses, and instead of helping you find them, she left you to it, and subsequently saw your glasses-hunt as a reason to not invite you back? Sounds to me like you had a lucky escape. May all your sex adventures in future be fun and happy ones, with a handy table close to the action where you can neatly pop your glasses for easy retrieval afterwards <<--- traditional glasses-wearer blessing <3 xx

  • A Gray says:

    Both my partners have glasses so they thankfully Understand the struggle.

    There was a very sweet and hot moment during one of our first plays where my Dom very gently removed my glasses with a “you won’t be needing these” and he did properly put them away safely <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.