Tag Archives: sex toys

Jade eggs: Bullshit doesn’t belong on your sex toy website

So far I’ve been silent on the horrorshow that is Goop – Gwyneth Paltrow’s bullshit-engine which advocates wellness ‘treatments’ designed to cure you of your money. She recommends anything from vaginal steaming (argh) to jade eggs, making ludicrous claims about how these things can help you ‘detox’ and generally improve your life. I haven’t bothered with it until now, but my Twitter feed is currently packed with news and snark about ‘Goop Lab’ – her new show where she demonstrates some of the pseudoscience she’s trying to flog you – so I’d feel negligent if I didn’t write something. What’s more, I recently realised this problem isn’t limited to Goop: a sex toy website that I otherwise have a lot of time for has started peddling weird bullshit along with its jade eggs, and it breaks my fucking heart. Let’s start by tackling jade eggs and other cuntstones, and why the dodgy claims about their magical powers aren’t just ‘harmless fun’. I’ll save vaginal steaming for another angry day.

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Guest blog: VR sex with a twist

This week’s guest blogger is Sara, who you’ll have met before in her amazing post about what happened when her girlfriend released her from chastity. Today’s guest blog contains an equally hot scenario and I am not sure what I love more about it: the sheer intense hotness of the fuck, or the skill and patience which was put in to making it perfect. As someone who’s a big fan of VR porn sex games, I am in absolute awe of what happens here, and I hope if you got similar gifts for Christmas, it might inspire you to see if you achieve similarly orgasmic things…

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Guest blog: Wand vibrators, camming & the best money we ever spent

Today’s guest blogger is the fabulous Amber Parks, a camgirl and huge fan of wand vibrators, as you’ll be able to tell from her awesome post below! It is always a pleasure to meet a fellow kindred spirit – the day I fell in love with my own Doxy wand is not one I’ll ever forget, but Amber’s gone one better by using it in her camming work and making it pay for itself many times over. When you’ve read her awesome guest post, check out Amber’s blog Cruel Princess or follow her on Twitter @acruelprincess to see more of her work!

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Sexy Christmas fantasies (and help on how to fulfil them)

One of the most popular posts this year was the one on wank fantasies, which I wrote for Masturbation Month. That surprised me because it was mostly just me allowing my dirty mind to spill out a load of random snippets of porn. But seeing as people seemed to enjoy that, I’ve been prompted to do a similar thing this week – write some sexy Christmas fantasies, and in lieu of a Christmas gift guide, give you tips on sponsor products/websites that can help you to fulfil them. Pick your favourite fantasy, have a wank if you’re so inclined, then consider buying someone (or yourself) a Christmas gift or two from the recommendations that come with each story. These fabulous companies sponsor my website, so it’s thanks to them that I can keep churning out more filth for you all – if you’re happy to click through to their sites and support them in return, I really appreciate it.

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OK FINE I’ll review the AMO bullet vibe

I hate doing this, but needs must: I’m going to review the AMO bullet vibe. I hate doing it for a few reasons, not least because I think I’m terrible at reviewing sex toys, and I work with Hot Octopuss so you’re not going to believe a word I say about the AMO bullet vibe, but for what it’s worth here goes: this is a very very good vibrator.

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