I’ve been looking forward to today like a kid looks forward to Christmas. Today, sex toy company Hot Octopuss launches their ‘Show Stigma The Finger’ campaign, in which they’re promoting a new finger vibe by getting different women to give the finger to different types of stigma and prejudice.

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People often ask me for sex toy recommendations, so in this wildly boring but nevertheless helpful post, I’m going to tell you the top sex toys I’d save if my house was burning down and I only had time to grab a few. The main reason for me writing this post is because I am short of both content and cash, but I appreciate that sex toy recommendations are far less interesting than stories about having dildo orgies or watching my other half do a sexy genderfuck striptease. So here’s my offer: I will tell you about the best sex toys I own (i.e. the ones I use most often), you go buy them if you want, I’ll get some money, and then on Sunday I’ll publish some Halloween erotica story that isn’t trying to sell you anything at all. Deal? OK.

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A few years ago I went to a PR launch for a sex thing. Alongside the free champagne (woo!) there was a discussion about ‘obligation sex’ – whether you should make yourself shag sometimes even when you’re not in the mood, to keep the spark alive in your relationship. A sex blogger who I respected a lot was there (she, along with the free champagne, was what tempted me out of the house), and during the discussion she argued that you should have obligation sex. That making yourself shag could be the glue that held your relationship together even when other things were falling apart. I remember being shocked by her answer, because my gut instinct was to disagree. But I really liked her, and there’d been a lot of free champagne, so all I left with was a fuzzy head and a vague feeling that ‘obligation sex’ didn’t sound like much fun at all.

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It’s that time again! I’m welcoming back Luke – aka @Beardynoise – to deliver the third instalment of the Wankonomicon. In volume 1 of the Wankonomicon he detailed danger wanks, business wanks and procrasturbation. Volume II covered luxury wanks and more. Today, Luke is taking an in-depth look at one of my personal faves – the bedtime wank – alongside workplace wanks and exorcism wanks. Enjoy! 

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Last Sunday’s instalment of ‘sex blogger life’, in which I was watching my boyfriend masturbate to porn and trying not to move, ended on not-quite-a-cliffhanger. Me, dripping with horn, sitting on an office chair in the corner of the room while my boyfriend did his best to pretend I wasn’t watching as he beat one out to an especially hot porn video. Today we’re going to pick up where I left off, just as he declares that it’s time for a break in the proceedings…

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