It’s that time again! It feels like it comes round earlier each year, doesn’t it? It’s Masturbation Month, which means that by the time I publish this you have probably all already wanked yourselves into a stupor with the fabulous selection of sex toys you already own. So, like a sexier, sweatier, sluttier version of Santa I’m here to unload a sack full of awesome Masturbation Month deals direct from my sponsors right into your eyes.

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Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

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I often get asked if writing turns me on, or how often/whether I wank when I’m composing something. The answer is ‘sometimes’ – honestly, most of the time, if it’s a story I’m retelling that involves an especially hot real-life fuck or a fantasy I’ve nurtured for a while. But this week’s guest blogger has a far more vivid and delicious answer to that question. Please welcome RalpH_himself (who you can find here on Mastodon or Fetlife) who’s here to show you what the sweet agony of writing erotica is like…

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This fabulously hot story about kink, ownership, longing and a shirt is written and read by the brilliant JM Seaborn of WrittenInKink. Note that it contains ‘Daddy’ as an honorific, all participants are over 18. 

She doesn’t have to be up yet. She’s still in bed. One leg hanging invitingly outside of the blanket. I have to ignore it because I’m late for work and there is no time to climb back into bed and add to the bruises I gave her last night.

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For as long as I’ve known that some men are into feet, I have wanted one to come all over mine. Masturbate while looking at them then squirt jizz out – covering my skin and dribbling in between my toes. I don’t think I have a foot fetish myself, but I do get off on fulfilling other people’s desires, especially if they sit outside of what the world thinks an average fuck might look like. So the mental image of a guy kneeling over me to cover my feet in cum has been one that, now stuck in my head, has resolutely refused to disappear.

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