I am a sucker for colloquialisms, particularly when they’re to do with sex. One of the first things I learn when I go to other countries is find out their dirty sex words. Get me drunk enough and I’ll share with you some of my favourite words and phrases. To be honest, even in a sober state I’ll happily explain to you how the Japanese word for ‘cunt’ is but two tiny dots away from the word for ‘mango’, and how this got me out of a fair bit of trouble when I was practising my letters.
But some of the best colloquialisms come from Ireland. It’s not just that I read them while imagining a gorgeously lilting Irish accent, it’s the fact that the words themselves sound so much more playful than their boring London equivalents.
Lad. Mickey. Ride.
Awesome.
Today’s guest blogger has some super-hot things to say about words. What’s more, she gives us an overview of these pretty, playful Irish colloquialisms. She’s brand new to sex blogging, so if you love her words then please do check out her blog – Abbi Rode. You can also follow her on Twitter at @OCDcrankypants.
Words I love, words I hate
Everyone calls their parts different things, at different times with different people. I know most girls don’t like the words I like but I’m not speaking for most girls, I’m speaking for me.
My favourite two words for my holiest of holies are pussy and cunt. There is no way to mistake the sexual in those two, it oozes from them. And if I’m talking about sex then I want powerful sex words to use.
They’re actually the only two I like. I’m sure it started with Don Draper (not the actual, but a guy who was like him, all confidence). He only had to look at me and talk to me to get me wet. One time he had me laid out on the bed, utterly exposed he was kneeling at the edge of the bed, he had my legs wrapped around him. But he was entirely in control. He wouldn’t even let me sit up. He looked directly at me and told me to be quiet. This immediately got me breathing fast, then he licked his thumb, and rubbed it up the lips, then put his thumb in his mouth, leaned down and whispered “I love this cunt.” I gasped, he again told me to be quiet or he’d stop. With his wet thumb he rubbed it again up the lips and I started to buck at this point, he held me still with one arm. Looked me directly in the eye and smelled his thumb and said “This is the best smelling cunt in the world, and I own it. I’m going to do exactly what I want to it.” It was him, how he was, the way he looked at my pussy and the way he got me so excited with the power of one word. That was it, I loved it ever since. But only said like that, only in the context of sex. I don’t even think he knew what he did that day. I don’t think he even cared, he was just doing what he wanted and I was almost incidental to that. He was in control, worshipping it getting the reactions he wanted.
From then on all he had to do was whisper in my ear, anywhere that we were, that he wanted my cunt, that he loved the smell of my cunt… anything with that word and it brought me straight back. So I love that word, I think more people should be aware of how sexy it is and get the pleasure from it, it’s the last really taboo word.
Pussy is another one that girls seem to hate. I know many feminists, who would be OK with cunt, still don’t like this one. But I do. It seems so guttural, so common, so… well… dirty and obvious. I just like it. I think it’s powerful and it can’t really be used in any other context than sex. You’re not going to the doctor to talk about your pussy, are you? And it’s a little tamer than cunt. You need descriptions for different excitement levels and these serve the purpose.
I don’t think I mind vagina, I just think it’s terribly unsexy. Again that’s what I’d say in a clinic. Even if discussing with my partner after the fact and he said “Is your vagina ok, I think I was a little rough”. Nope, don’t care for that at all. I did like that one guy used to refer to it as my ‘va-jean’. It was cute and it worked. Obviously not during sex, but general enquiries into its well-being “So, you got waxed yesterday, how’s your ‘va-jean’, ready for action?” Perfect.
Fanny – I’m not mad on this. It’s a word from childhood and the American understanding for it as ‘bum’ has it ruined for me. Either way, it’s not one I choose to use or hear used referring to me.
Now box, I hate. Just because I can’t understand how anyone thought it was a good description for something so warm, soft, inviting and categorically not angular. It makes no sense and my very rational mind is both confused and insulted by the term. It baffles me.
I can never settle on a word for my rack that I’m entirely comfortable with. I’m OK with tits, boobs, breasts. But each seems weird in the wrong context. I know that I do hate boobies, seems too childish, the same with titties. I may have to investigate this further?
While we’re on that I don’t think I ever say mickey either, it just seems the wrong end of comical. I think if I was insulting someone I might say it:
“Big swinging mickey, I’ve had better.”
Dick and cock are my equivalent to pussy and cunt, respectively. I love cock – read that however you want to. It’s meant every way. It’s my favourite word for my favourite part of a man. I do like dick every now and then, I need variety. And I don’t think I’ve come across anyone that’s taken umbrage to their member being called either of those things.
I don’t think I ever use the word lad, again unless in a somewhat comical way “And I walked in the kitchen and there he was with his lad out.”
And tool is only for insults, really isn’t it?
I have been known to refer to a particularly big penis as a weapon, I can’t take credit for this, I robbed it from a friend who used it when recommending someone.
This list could be endless.
Thanks Abbi, now I have to go and cold-shower away all these mental images of hot dudes getting their ‘lads’ out, and filthy men whispering dark somethings about my cunt. If you enjoyed the above, do check out AbbiRode.com, and let Abbi know about your own favourite sex words in the comments. Personally, I’ll swap you a Japanese word that means ‘the sound of wanking’ if you can give me ‘cunt’ in any other language.
And if you’re a sex blogger, particularly if you’re just starting out and want to build some traffic, I’d love to hear from you – check out my guest blog page and get in touch if you’d like to write something.
18 Comments
As an Austrian I can share some words from the German language with you:
“Cunt” has several translations: „Fut“ (pronounced as “food”) and the more Germanic „Fotze“ are the most taboo words. You will not normally hear them in public, and they are usually quite derogatory.
The English “pussy” has leaked into the German language, but the original word „Muschi“ is still very much prevalent (and means exactly the same, including the snickering when an old lady calls her cat a “Muschi“).
„Vagina“, being a Latin word, is equally used in German in a medical context, although the German „Scheide“ is equally neutral and more commonly used. I’m actually surprised that Abbi didn’t mention “Vulva”: personally, I find it such a beautiful word (although not bound to a sexual context), and it is much closer in meaning to “pussy” and “cunt”.
As for the male parts: The German language knows „Schwanz“ (literally “tail”) which is used like “dick”, although I personally don’t like it very much. I’m not aware of any word that has the same positive resonance(*) as “cock”. There is also the word „Riemen“, that is used more like the English “tool”.
(*) I know that the positive resonance might be imagined by me, since I didn’t grow up in an English-speaking country. But to me, the connection to a rooster as a beautiful and proud animal just feels inspiring.
Disclaimer: There are certainly more words for the male and female parts, but these are IMO the more commonly used.
Ooh, awesome – thank you! I really like ‘schwanz’ – there’s a gorgeous sound to it and I can imagine someone using it very sexily just before fucking me with it =)
The Swiss have “Schnabbi”, from Schnabel, a (bird’s) beak. It’s not very rude.
And “Mädeli-Fuddi”, from Mädchen, a girl, and Fuddi for bum. Not rude either.
Interesting. I always thought that “Fut” somehow comes from “Fotze”. Now that you pointed out “Fuddi”, this seems to be the better explanation.
‘Schnabbi’ definitely sounds more cute than hot. In Japanese, ‘chin chin’ is a fairly ‘cute’ word for penis, but I don’t think ever used in a hot context.
Polish has ‘cipa’ for the lady bits but I’ve never considered it to be that rude… My favourite dick-word though has to be ‘huj’, mostly because of the hilarious misunderstandings it can lead to when there’s a lot of different languages in one room.
Damn it typo, should be ‘chuj’!
Ooh, nice, although I cannot work out how to pronounce that at all. With u as ‘oo’ or as ‘uh’?
Like “hoy”. I know a pub, in an English coastal town called “The Hoy and Helmet”: this always makes the laugh, even if the repetition in unnecessary
Does ‘hoy’ mean ‘dick’? I’ve never heard it before!
It does indeed :D excellent isn’t it?
Danish has the word fisse for vagina – although it’s more of an equivalent to “pussy” than any other synonym we have. There’s even a schoolyard chant – although I can’t really type it out here – that means something like “there won’t ever be any pussy for me” using fisse.
I didn’t learn much else in Denmark.
Oh, one more, though – I love the Danish for “dick” (as in penis) – pik! Personally, I think that’s cute!
Amazing – I’m not sure I’d use ‘pik’ sexily, but as you say it’s quite cute. Also fairly easy to remember because of similarities with ‘prick’.
Love this blog as it’s a conversation I’ve had quite a few times with guys. I don’t particularly like the words cunt, pussy, or vagina so a guy I was with decided we make something else up. We started calling it a fanjita :D Although I think of this as being between us so with the next guy I needed something new. He’s Italian so I like the word la figa.
And yeah cock is great ;)
Holy Christ – I reckon ‘la figa’ might take the cake as far as hotness is concerned. I imagine pretending to be a kind of smouldering, dark-haired bombshell, and whispering filthy things about it in an Italian accent. Mmm.
The Italian is actually `fica’ which means fig, which has an obvious slang meaning if you have a look at a fig. It’s also then used as an adjective meaning `excellent’ or `attractive’, so the word `fica’ is used to refer to attractive women in the street if you’re a bit unreconstructed, but `fico/a’ and even `fichissimo/a’ might be used to say how lovely a motorcycle or a dress are. Better than the uses of the equivalent English word.
And as for the use of `quaint’ by Marvell …
I’ve always liked ‘chatte’, French for ‘pussy’. Chat means cat so the etymology seems obvious.
Great post! I personally love ‘cunt’, just reading it gets me hot. It’s so exquisitely candid.
‘Dick’ & ‘cock’ are not far behind. I know some slang terms in Albanian: ‘Pidh’ (i = ee sound) is very colloquial for pussy/cunt. Most guys use ‘pjeshka’ too, which is the Albanian word for peach (not known for subtle hints).
As for cock the list is more abundant. There’s ‘Kar’ which I Love – pronounced like ‘car’ but works much better if you don’t associate it with transport. It has a very harsh sound when used sexually that somehow excites me. Also, ‘Pall’ (a = art, not mall), a word that hints the ‘lad’ is on the large side. There’s ‘rrushi’ which is very sweet but doesn’t do much for arousal. It means ‘grape’ and surprisingly is slang for cock rather than balls. As you can see, fruits are particularly popular when describing genitalia (I left out ‘banane’ because it doesn’t need explination).
Ps: let’s not forget the glorious ‘Fuck’. The albanian equivalent sounds so dirty I can’t help but enjoy it, ‘qij’.
Some of the above words I found in nicknames on dating sites like http://www.casualclub.com. These casual dating sites have members with a great fantasy for creating their nicks. I’ve seen Katze, German for Pussy and Big John and loads of others. It’s really funny to found out.