Eye contact when you’re getting head: yes or no?

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

He likes me to make eye contact when I’m sucking him off. He likes to see my big, wet eyes staring deeply into his. Imploring. Desperate. Needy. Close.

But when the roles are reversed, I want no eye contact. I want him to look down, or away, or at the colours and shapes behind his own eyelids. Never looking into mine.

Eye contact is personal and immediate. When he’s fucking me with his mouth, staring at me with imploring grey eyes makes my receipt of his tongue feel like one half of a contract: in exchange for giving me pleasure he wants to see me put on a performance. Show him just how much I’m enjoying what he does.

Whether he’s sucking my nipples or burying his face in my cunt, I don’t want him to make eye contact. It’s too close.

I love watching him do it though. I like to look at the top of his head and the curve of his neck. See his tongue flick out over a nipple – watch his lips purse ready to suck, or a flash of teeth exposed just before he bites. I like to watch the way his cheeks pull in, concave as he sucks eagerly at me.

I like to watch his head, his face, his neck, all framed by big shoulders and thick arms that surround me – pulling me tighter towards his mouth and making me feel like I’m getting eaten right up.

But no eye contact.

I don’t like eye contact.

Eye contact when I’m giving head is different. Then I’ll lock eyes for as long as I’ll suck cock – it’s part and parcel of the performance I’m putting on. I like staring up at him – eyes rolled up as far as I can go, straining to keep them locked on his even as the slick head of his dick thuds against the back of my throat.

Eye contact is important. Eye contact is one of many things I’m weighing up when I’m sucking dick: what does this particular person like? Do they want the closeness of eye contact, or would they prefer to close their own eyes? Maybe they – like me – want to watch but without feeling watched themselves. They need me to avert their eyes so they feel less self-conscious. Some guys need to know they’re not being watched so they can really let themselves go – with dirty talk and moans and grunts and all the things I like to hear best.

I am not a very visual person. Visual things are performances I put on for other people – whether it’s choosing a top that nicely frames my tits on a night out or staring up, eyes watering, during a deliciously brutal throatfuck.

But sometimes I can get into something just because of how you look when you do it. I like words, and sounds, and the sensation of teeth on one of my nipples. I don’t like eye contact. But I do like to see what your lips look like as you wet them before you bite.

10 Comments

  • I am exactly the same – á l’enverse, basically.

    I think eye contact during a blowjob is really hot – if you watch BJ porn you’ll notice that there’s a lot of eye contact with the camera, it’s a popular trick – although I’ve also noticed that girls who give blowjobs are sometimes fixated on the penis, which is quite nice too (it’s an odd, but good, feeling to have your genitalia appreciated). Ahem.

    But it’s important, I think, to see who it is you’re sucking, which is why looking up is hot. I think, anyway.

    I most certainly don’t like eye contact when I’m giving oral sex, though. I occasionally let my eyes flick upwards to look at her, but I prefer to see her with her head thrown back and eyes shut tight, moaning with lusty pleasure. I think eye contact would make me nervous!

  • notnk says:

    I’m going to talk VR porn here.

    I’m going to talk VR porn because my general reaction to blow-jobs in VR kind of amuses and intrigues me, and gets me wanting to rant, despite it should have been kind of obvious how it would work give my reaction to blow-jobs in flat porn. I guess was kind of hoping tho’…

    Generally, that reaction is ‘zzzzz, snooze button’. Obligatory blow job time is the point where I go looking around at the curtains, and the chairs, and the set in general. At least in in VR, rather than flat porn, looking around at stuff is possible. And yes, approximately, I’m a guy.

    Now I know why this is. VR porn is porn, and given that there are no actual physical sensation to match up with what I’m seeing it still reads to me as porn despite the VR So that means my brain still goes into porn-sex-fantasy mode to generate the imaginary physical sensations, which of course activates the large chunk of my personal sexuality that sits somewhere out in trans-space, and gets me imagining the sensations of the female performer, not those of the point-of-view guy I’m actually supposed to be busy being.

    Aside: Yes, F/F Female-POV VR porn is my catnip, but it’s rare as hen’s teeth. Like about four or five scenes out of a few
    hundred rare.

    So getting back to the OP…

    …If I had actual experience in giving blowjobs (I don’t, I guess I need to get out more, insufficient gayness can be problem) those imaginary physical sensation might actually be a turn on, but given I don’t, that means the *only* blowjobs I find hot in VR are a few of the ones with eye contact, the ones where the performer is managing to give the impression with her eyes that she’s getting off on the guys reactions to what they’re doing. That reads to me as hot, because she’s making it obvious it’s hot from her point of view, and I’m working off her point of view.

    But, deep throating? You can only see the reaction of the hair on the top of her head, and my imaginary sensations are all about gagging. Apparently I’m not into gagging, so…

    …Here curtains, here pretty, pretty, curtains.

    .And then comes the moment of horror, when you discover that the set for this scene doesn’t have curtains….Nooooooo! ;)

  • oodles says:

    I have yet to feel un-shy enough to make eye contact while giving. I can’t get past the idea that I’m just not sexy, and it makes me want to hide. It’s the major sex-related barrier I’ve yet to overcome, really. Giving makes me so nervous. I would like not to be, as the last guy I was with (who will hopefully also be the next guy) is so incredibly cute and I really want to do it properly and, yes, make eye contact. Maybe this post will inspire me :)

    • rare deeds says:

      Dear oodles

      I started to feel sexy when my partner – through her words & actions – showed me how sexy she found me. We all project negative images of ourselves, on to ourselves. You may well find yourself realising how sexy your partner finds you if you allow yourself to look at him looking at you – & seeing his desire for you in his eyes.

      There is no “properly” – there’s just the joy of discovering together how each of you can turn one another on, the gorgeous pleasures that you can share together.

    • D. says:

      Would it work for you if you were _told_ to make eye contact? I’ve found that effective (and pleasing) with shy women in the past. :-)

  • Tom says:

    Never had it happen, I think I might find it uncomfortable as an experience though! Happy to give it a try, but not sure my wife would agree!

  • Jenn says:

    Eye contact is both hot and intense – it’s VERY intensely personal, and intimate in its own right. Sometimes I seek it, other times I don’t. It really depends on how I’m feeling at that particular moment. We’ve been together for 16 years and have only been with each other, yet there are still times when the intensity is too much – he’ll be looking at me while he’s going down on me, and I end up breaking the contact by looking away or simply closing my eyes. Then there are other times when I don’t want to stop maintaining eye contact! In any case, it’s definitely intimate, and adds another level of intimacy and pleasure to the moment.

  • Uil says:

    ‘a deliciously brutal throatfuck.’

    :)

  • Weebs says:

    Yes. “a delicious brutal throatfuck”, indeed. Hot!

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