During that down-time between Christmas and new year, we’re meant to take stock of things which went well over the last 12 months. So although 2016 has basically been an absolute shitshow of a year, there are some lovely highlights which I’m going to wrap round me like a cosy blanket to try and keep the hellish nightmares out. Tomorrow I’ll be doing a round-up of the most popular guest blogs of 2016, but for now here’s a list of the most popular sexy blog posts from me, as measured by Google Analytics. Get stuck in, share if you like them, and feel free to tell me in the comments if there are particular things you’d like to see more of as we welcome 2017.
This post is illustrated with one on my favourite sexy images from 2016 (which goes with the most popular blog post). This blog wouldn’t be nearly as lovely a place without the incredible work of Stuart Taylor, who draws unique and beautiful images for me each week. You can see all the illustrated posts here if you’d like to browse through.
10. Fuck the princess
I am fucking DELIGHTED that this made the top 10. My other half is generally nervous about telling sexy stories. Given my job as a Professional Teller Of Sex Stories, he if often worried that his own aren’t up to scratch. So the fact that his incredibly filthy story about me getting fucked in a castle made the top 10 sexy blog posts will genuinely make his day.
9. The wedding night fuck
This is not your average wedding night story. It’ll probably appeal to you if you’re into cuckqueaning, or playful power. Or if you’ve just had to plan your own wedding and you’re sick to the back teeth of having to smile when really you want to smash things to pieces.
8. Your dick, my mouth: now
“Your dick. My mouth. Now. Here in the pub. In the toilets – quick, come on, while the bartender isn’t looking. You can push the back of my head against the stall door so it bangs while you fuck my face. Just let me fucking tasteyou before I go get the next round of drinks.”
7. 10 things men do in bed that women hate
Number 5 will surprise and depress you! This parody of a ‘10 Things Men Do In Bed‘ clickbait article was written shortly after a serious yet entirely bollocks version did the rounds.
6. Risky sex: don’t try this at home
This was essentially just an opportunity to write a sexy blog that combined risk and reward. I love fucking when there’s a hint of danger, and that can be anything from a slight worry that someone might walk in to one of the more extreme examples in this risky sex post.
5. Being used: the dirty story version
Because I am nerdy and obsessive about sex, occasionally I like to do weird things like telling the same story from two different angles. This dirty story version, which got into the top 10, was clearly more popular than the funny version. But I love both of them. Check out the filthy one first if you want to avoid ruining the mood.
4. One girl’s adventures in Cock Hero
“Essentially you masturbate in time to a beat, along to a montage of porn put together specifically to challenge you. It begins fairly softcore, and the beat counter at the bottom of the screen directs you in slow, occasional strokes. Then as the game progresses, the porn gets more intense and the beat counter speeds up, whipping you into a rhythmic frenzy until it’s all you can do to hold back on the inevitable jizzsplosion. Naturally I was intrigued, and I have spent the next few months getting involved in Cock Hero on a casual gaming basis, because I like playing with dicks and I am lucky enough to know a guy who’ll let me have a go on his in the name of Friday-night fun.”
3. Never enough jizz
For someone who is a massive cumslut, I have far too passionate a hatred for the word ‘cumslut.’ It does not in any way sum up just how satisfying it is to be covered in gallons of jizz. Hopefully this post does a better job.
2. One Weird Trick To Blow Their Mind In Bed
YES. I love it when romantic posts get into the top 10. While I try to include a mix of sexy blog posts, ranty blog posts, romantic ones and funny ones, as a general rule it’s the filth that gets most traffic. This one, though? It may be bed-related but it’s all about the love. Check out this one weird trick to blow their mind in bed. Then try it at home. It’s guaranteed a good reception.
1. Double penetration with a strap on and a cock
Often when I look through my popular posts I get some interesting surprises. The post above, for instance: I had no idea it’d be so popular until I hit publish. Then there are the posts that you know will be popular.
Before I’d even started writing this one, I suspected it would come top. Because it combines so many things that are pretty much guaranteed hits: porny keywords, anal fucking, and an incredibly beautiful custom-drawn dirty picture.