Things I have said in order to avoid saying that

Image by the excellent Stuart F Taylor

I really like this man. I am weirdly obsessed with this man. We just kind of… pulse with the same rhythm?


I’m so into you.

You’re exactly my type.

You’re really exceptionally good.

I feel oddly intense about you.


I’m so pleased by this man.

I’m ridiculous about this man.

I am weak for this man.

I need you to meet this guy soon so you can tell me if I’m being a fucking idiot again.

I’m stupid about him.

I am foolish about him.

I am going to make such a giant twat of myself over him.

I’m excited about him.

I’m delighted by him.

I’m pathetic for him.

I am so insensibly smitten with this man I swear to God.



This isn’t a proper post. It’s just an excuse for me to tell you that if you enjoy the blog, especially what I’m loosely going to call the ‘plot’ of it (i.e. the bits where I tell you about my relationships) then now is a good time to support me on Patreon, because on Sunday I’ll be telling you some more stories about the Hot Punk Guy who has proved to be such an exceptional muse lately, including reading you some of the overexcited texts I sent to my friends after our first few dates. Plus other fun stories too like the next instalment in the free use secretary series.

Support me at any tier (the best value, in my opinion, is the lowest tier of £2/$2 per month, and it’s always helpful for me if you do an annual sub if you can – you get a 10% discount on the monthly price and it gives me the stability to budget for audio commissioning over the year) then register to join the hangout this weekend.


Sunday evening, 6-8pm UK time.

(1-3 pm EST, 10-12 noon PST, 4-6 am Sydney [sorry Aussies, see below for more info if you’d like to submit questions and catch up later without joining live])

You’re welcome to dip in and out of the call for however long you like, but if you want to hear the final story please make sure you’re on the call before 7:30 (so an hour and a half after it starts). New entries will be closed after then.


Zoom. Join from your living room, office, bedroom or on the top deck of the bus. Just make sure you’re a) wearing headphones (discussion will be NSFW) and b) not naked. That’s against Patreon + Zoom’s terms and conditions.

I’ll read you some audio smut, aforementioned eager texts, answer your burning questions, and we’ll also create some brand new smut together. If you’ve ever wanted to have input into the blog, or hear behind-the-scenes gossip like you’re one of my mates to whom I’m bragging after I got laid, now’s your chance. If you aren’t able to make the call, the overview post on Patreon gives info on how to submit questions for the Q&A, which I’ll aim to record and make available to you all later.

This will be the last Zoom hangout before Christmas/new year I think, so now’s the time to join. PLUS if you’re still a Patreon supporter at the start of December, I’ll send you a card to say thanks.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.