Oh for the love of a man who wants to watch me fuck other men. Cuckolding – that’s the technical term. Cuckqueaning being the gender-flipped equivalent, where straight women get off on watching their guys with other women. I long for a guy who gets off on cuckolding.
For a man whose idea of heaven is the gentlest of touches on his aching erection as he leaks precum and sheds a solitary tear while I’m fucked rigid by a faceless other.
Cuckolding is one of the hottest fetishes, and one of the most dangerous, and I love it for both of these reasons, along with the simpler explanation that it’s a guilt-free, enticing shag with someone brand new and different.
I used to know a guy who was into this. Who struggled with his desire to keep and hold me, at the same time as his throbbing need to hear stories of me getting used by other men. We used to fuck while we talked about it. Long, slow, trembling shags during which I’d whisper in his ear…
“He beat me with a slipper, you know. He pulled my knickers down in the hallway and slapped me with it. All the time his other hand fondling me – running up under my shirt and squeezing my tits and exploring my body the way you usually do.”
A moan. A twitch as he thrust further into me.
“His cock was pretty thick, you know. Satisfying, just like yours is now. Filling me up and stretching me.”
He moans again. He doesn’t cry – now. But later he will. As he rubs his dick and pictures the scene – a vivid image of my face, contorted with lust and desire, thinking only of getting fucked by someone who isn’t him. He might cry even as he’s coming, and eventually that picture is what pushes me over the edge while we’re fucking. As I squeeze him between my legs and imagine his tortured confusion.
Cuckolding isn’t weakness
When I’ve discussed cuckolding with people before, some have turned their nose up at the idea that it represents weakness – a lack of self-esteem and a desire to be ‘punished’ for imagined failings. That those who get turned on by the idea of their partner fucking someone else are somehow constantly miserable. Feeling undeserving of love and so only able to enjoy it if they know it comes with the promise of betrayal. Maybe betrayal hurts less if you fetishise it.
I don’t think it’s that though. Guys I know who’ve enjoyed it cite a range of reasons why it’s hot: they get off on their partner’s pleasure. They get off on the pure visual of it: watching two people fuck and knowing exactly what one of them likes – like a personalised, explicit live show performed just for them. And some of them – yes – they like the conflict. In a world that teaches us that sex is precious – a gift you give to those you love and keep hidden from everyone else – then of course there’ll be excitement in watching that rule be broken.
Diary of a Library Nerd – specifically the cuckolding bit
This week I read a properly filthy book, in which the protagonist (a super-horny library worker) explores BDSM in a far more interesting way than Christian Grey did. She dominates a young guy, and is dominated by someone much older, and in the course of her sticky fucking she reminded me of just how hot I get at the idea of cuckolding.
I won’t give away too much of the book – if you want a copy it’s obviously available from Amazon, or from the publisher Sweetmeats Press. And I’ll take this opportunity to say that it was given to me for free, because I’m one of those people that publishers tend to give stuff for free to. Despite an impressive level of persuasion (Joe from Sweetmeats deserves a pay rise, if anyone’s listening) I’m not actually going to review it, but I’m more than happy to give it a mention because it sparked interesting stuff in my mind.
There’s a section of the book where the main character explores cuckolding. After a couple of hints to her submissive about what she’s been up to with her dominant, her sub begins pacing the room in a whirling conflict of jealousy and lust.
“What did you do with him?” is quickly followed by “tell me more…” and as soon as the second sentence came out I got a kick in the gut of pure horny delight, reminded of all those whispered dirty-talking fucks in which I regaled a guy with tales of others.
Cuckolding isn’t inherently submissive (or inherently male)
Alongside the ‘weakness’ thing, cuckolding is often seen as something only submissive men enjoy. Akin to a punishment (or sometimes a back-handed treat) that they’ll accept gratefully, on their knees and glistening with humiliated need. But I don’t think it has to be that way. The idea of being ‘shared’ by a dominant turns me on just as much, if not more – the explicit fantasy I have of being tied down as something to be used at a party thrown by my partner. Being passed around a group of men while my partner looks on – proud rather than humiliated. Generous rather than exploited.
Although there is a word for the gender-swapped position – cuckqueaning – I very rarely hear this fetish talked about from a female perspective, or the perspective of anyone in a relationship other than a straight one. Perhaps because so often the cuckolding is linked to humiliation, and while in the past it was considered intensely humiliating for a wife to cheat on her husband, our lopsided, assumptions-based sexual narrative tells us that it’s ‘to be expected’ that most men will cheat on their wives.
Whatever the reason for the imbalance, I’m pretty damn lucky to have met men who get off on this kind of play. For me, there’s an intense deliciousness in desperation, and the combination of sadness and desire that radiates from someone who wants you but who just has to wait. Not to mention that the exhibitionism of being watched having sex, and the ability to share a disgustingly filthy fantasy without breaking hearts. Oh, and the chance to fuck other men and know that the only repercussion will be a week’s worth of languid, dirty-talking reminiscence fucks as he quivers with the need to know every excruciating detail…? Yeah, cuckolding is pretty damn hot.
As long as I’m on the right side of it, of course.