Guest blog: What does my collar mean to me?

Image by the amazing Stuart F Taylor

There are so many cool aspects of BDSM that I don’t fully understand… until someone who’s into them explains why it appeals. I’m delighted to welcome Spices of Lust to the blog today – they’re a blogging couple who document their BDSM life (click the link!) in all its glorious kinky, emotional, fascinating detail. Today, she’s here to talk about collaring: what makes someone want to wear someone else’s collar, and what does wearing a collar mean in their relationship? If you enjoyed this peek behind the curtain please do share this post, check out the Spices of Lust blog, and follow @LustSpices on Twitter!

What does my collar mean to me?

Getting my first collar was an amazing experience. It meant giving myself to someone completely and committing on a different level. It made me feel proud. For some moments I couldn’t believe that he thought I was ready.

How it all started

We were in a relationship for some time and it was obvious that we were both somewhat kinky. Sex was amazing but I could tell that he was craving dominance. Even though I was always interested in being submissive and loved to be submissive in our bedroom play, I was never in a full on D/s relationship.

How would I do? Would I be able to be submissive all the time? I didn’t want to disappoint him…

Those were the thoughts that were going through my mind. But seeing that something was missing for him I decided to give it a shot.

Getting my collar

We started slow. One day at a time. He was so patient with me and told me loud and clear what was expected of me. Things were going pretty good and I kept thinking how lucky I was to have someone like him.

One day he brought me a present. It was a beautiful black leather collar with a heart shaped padlock. I remember being so fucking excited. My whole body was shaking while he was putting it around my neck. He locked the padlock and saved the key. Seeing him put the key away so carefully with the smile on his face is something I remember like it was yesterday, even though it’s been 4 years.

Why does my collar mean so much to me?

It represents a deeper connection between me and him, my Dom. Being worthy to him; his will to teach me and to be with me makes me feel complete. Wearing it makes me feel respected and loved, almost like he’s always with me.

Losing the collar

I can’t speak from experience since I never actually lost a collar, but I can very well imagine how it would make me feel.

First of all, I would feel lost. I believe losing my collar would mean the end of the relationship. Even if the relationship wasn’t over, but just on a rough path, I would still feel lost. Like a part of me is missing.

My collar represents my whole relationship with my Dom. Everything I feel for him and everything he feels for me. It would be hard for me to just go on. I would be heartbroken.

For me, not having a collar wouldn’t be as bad as not having his collar.

1 Comment

  • Crazy Knickers says:

    I was collared in August by the man I will spend the rest of my life with. My collar means so much to me and when he buckles it round my neck I feel full of love and respect for him. I’ve worn collars before, but never have they been as laden with meaning and mutual love as my beautiful red leather collar is.

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