Grower or shower: great dick expectations

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

Answer the question quickly before you have too much time to think: which kind of dicks are better – growers or showers? ‘Growers’ meaning dicks which look fairly small when flaccid, but ‘grow’ a lot while they’re getting erect, ‘showers’ meaning dicks which get hard during erection, but ‘show’ most of their size even when flaccid. Which is better – grower or shower? Got your answer? OK, let’s get into this.


The case for growers is a fairly simple one if you enjoy a combination of dick-related surprises and cock-based anticipation. A dick which grows significantly as it gets harder allows for a variety of sensation. The feeling of it swelling significantly in your mouth when you suck someone hard, for instance. Or the way you can cup it gently in your hand, and whisper a sexy story, then feel the pulsing growth until it springs out and you can no longer hold the entire thing.

There’s also the ‘surprise’ factor – getting to watch the entire transition from soft to hard, never quite knowing when a dick has reached peak erection. It’s like waiting for the big reveal before the end credits in your favourite TV show. Like walking in to a surprise birthday party and not knowing just yet which of your old friends have turned up, then being able to squeal with glee when each one steps forward for a hug.

There’s the satisfaction, when something grows to twice – or three times – it’s flaccid volume. Being able to look proudly upon it and say ‘I did that.’ I caused this thing to happen. Like standing proudly over a Lego castle you’ve just built and being able to say ‘my work here is done, and it’s exceptional.’


That’s not to say that a ‘shower’ lacks merit. On the contrary, there’s delight and satisfaction in a dick that presents itself ‘as-is.’ The meaty smack of a long yet flaccid cock against the palm of your hand. Or against your face.

Watching someone hold it while they piss – substantial and satisfying – with the stream mimicking the hoped-for gallons of jizz that come later. Seeing someone perform that neat manoeuvre of tucking it back into their jeans afterwards, that quick flick of the wrist as they feed it back into the fly of their boxers, tucking it away for later.

Sometimes, guys ‘show’ so much in tight trousers that you can’t help but catch a glimpse of it. This guy standing in front of me on the tube dresses to the left, and I notice even if I’m trying not to.

Do people prefer showers or growers?

Both have their merits, but which is best? When it comes to sex we’re often desperately keen to categorise things and rank them: which of these things is more pleasurable than the other? Which sex toy gives you the best orgasms? What oral sex trick will blow someone’s mind in bed? Usually I sit on the fence – not out of apathy, but out of a sincere passion for both of the two possibilities. Yet when @_pea_green_boat recently ran a Twitter poll, my instinct was to go for one option in particular: grower.

For all the reasons I mentioned above – the joy of watching the transition, the sense of anticipation as something grew and stretched, and the satisfaction of knowing that ‘I did that.’ Yet when I mentioned the poll to my other half, he guessed that most people would prefer a ‘shower.’ Why?

“It’s just more impressive, isn’t it?” he explained. To him, dick size – and correlating anxiety or penis pride – was often about comparison to other guys. In the locker room, in the showers at the gym, or when you’re standing next to each other at the urinals. If dick size is a competition judged in comparison to other dicks, the fact that you most often see other dicks in flaccid environments means that ‘showers’ will usually win the day. But from my perspective, as someone who only really sees dick just before I get to sit on it, growers have a charm and merit that he hadn’t really considered.

So which is better, grower or shower? I think the answer can be found in the fact that I ticked ‘grower’ on the poll. Not because ‘grower’ is better, but because I have immediate access to a grower every morning when I wake up. Because I am currently more familiar with his dick than anyone else’s. I’ve fucked and loved ‘showers’ in the past, and I’ve fucked and loved dicks that come in a range of different sizes, shapes, colours and flavours.

What I’m saying is that grower or shower is probably not a lifelong preference. It’ll change depending on which dick I have easiest access to at the time.

Basically dicks are like ice-creams: the one I like best is usually the one I’m just about to put in my mouth.


  • Crashmatt says:

    Being a grower is certainly associated with much changing room related insecurity.

  • Curvaceous Dee says:

    Best closing line in a while there, GotN! *grins* And one I heartily agree with :)

    xx Dee

  • The quiet one says:

    Grower definitely.. because I love surprises..

  • SpaceCaptainSmith says:

    ‘Shower’ may not be the best word to use in the context of dicks… in print, the ambiguity suggests certain other connotations. (Which I’m sure are totally intended.)

    Anyway, I reckon I’m more of a grower, which seems the more fun one. I mean, if all you want is a big object that doesn’t change size, you may as well just use a dildo…

  • Henry Davidson says:

    Great post GoTN as usual.

    As a grower, there is indeed the locker-room insecurity problem. Solution: only take your kit off in front of a girl who makes you grow. However, being a grower did leave me with one problem. I thought I had a below-average size cock, and that was why condoms tended to fall off when in action. I thought I might need a smaller condom. However, a girl who had experienced more than the usual number of erect cocks explained that my problem with condoms was that my cock was actually quite a bit thicker than average. Once I started using extra large condoms, the falling-off condom problem was solved. Even better, other girls agree that I am (1) bigger than average and as a result (2) particularly good to sit on. I am now very confident of helping a girl to a good orgasm when she is in the cowgirl position.

    Brings me to a question GoTN. The reply above from SpaceCaptain said “might as well just use a dildo” (and this also relates to your last post about the g-spot dildo): every girl I have asked says that a dildo is all very well, but an erect cock has exactly the right firmness and warmth and movement to be better than a dildo almost every time. Is that true?

    • Girl on the net says:

      Oooooh OK good question, to which I think my answer might be ever-so-slightly fence-sitty: I think it depends a lot on the dick, the dildo and the mood.

      Benefits of dick: it is, yes, a really nice texture and warmth. Biggest benefit of course is that it is responsive – you don’t just get to sit on it and enjoy the feeling inside you, you also get to see the person’s face, touch the rest of their body, feel them dump loads of spunk inside you, etc etc.
      Benefits of dildo: you can have a huge variety of colours, shapes, textures, etc, so it can give a variety that no human dick ever could. And so with your pal’s point about the texture/firmness etc, you can likely achieve your best physical texture/shape with a dildo, if you’re happy to try loads/go down the custom route. Also re: firmness – dildo never gets tired or loses its erection (which happens to all but the most superhuman of human dicks). It can also be manipulated in a way that human dick can. In the story above, the guy was basically repeatedly and swiftly punching me in the cunt with the dildo (in a good way, sorry I’ve made it sound weird there) but you just can’t do that with human dick because no one can thrust that fast. So you can have a faster fuck without needing superhuman speed.

      On the whole I wouldn’t want to say one is better than the other – they both do different things incredibly well, and for this reason I have both in my life =) if you asked me to choose between them (only dick forever or only dildo forever) then of course I would choose dick, but that’s less to do with the specific physical sensations of dick and more to do with all the peripheral accompaniments like watching my partner’s face, being able to talk dirty with him and hold him and etc etc – none of that stuff can happen with a dildo.

      Sorry, I went into a BIG ramble there, but thanks for the interesting question! Re: condoms – I have been with guys who have had the same problems. This shit should be taught in school. Also I once managed to miss out on what could have been an amazing fuck because I had no extra-large condoms in the house. I was intensely sad about this – the guy had a really beautiful dick.

  • Henry Davidson says:

    Thanks for the detailed reply GoTN. I think one message is for men generally – don’t assume you have a standard size cock, ask the girls and check which condom is best for you. And girls – tell him what his dick is like for size, don’t just say “why the fuck has the condom fallen off!”

    I agree with you of course on many things about dildos. Fucking a girl with her favourite dildo can be seriously hot.

  • Valery North says:

    As a grower, I’ve never really been bothered by the whole “dick comparison contest” of other males – I’ve had a lot of other concerns about my willy, especially when growing up, but to be honest that was not one of them.

    As far as having a “grower” is concerned the biggest worry I have is that it takes longer to get to full size and the point where it is practical to put a condom on. Sometimes the need to change gears from “sexy turn-on time” to “fiddle with the packet and carefully get it into place” and then back again rather disrupts things (which is never an excuse not to use one, it’s just what I have experienced from time to time). I wonder if having a “shower” would mean it would be easier to do sooner (with just a semi, for instance) and avoid the sharp change of brain function from emotional to mechanical and back?

    But on the other hand, having a “grower” is incredibly convenient, for instance, in all the situations where I’m not interested in sexytimes, it just tucks up nicely out the way. And in sexytimes, there is a very great thrill in having someone suck me hard from teeny-tiny limpness and the whole process of it growing in their mouth from their efforts all the way to full erection…

  • D. says:

    Ran into an impressive grower last weekend, only I didn’t get to watch it happen… I only realised the extent of the expansion when I suddenly lost the ability to breathe!

    I won’t claim that wasn’t fun in its own way though :-D

  • Tom F says:

    I think the difference may have more to do with temperature then anatomy

    • Girl on the net says:

      Temperature definitely makes *a* difference, but it is not the only difference. I’ve known dudes who only shrink a little in cold, versus some where their dick almost completely disappears. Besides, with temp difference, in a chilly urinal most people will be experiencing the same cold, but with different degrees of impact on their dicks.

  • sss says:

    I thought this one was going to be a rant about idiots who peddle binary sexist tropes. I love the feux feminist backpeddling at the end where you finish by saying you are a proud fence sitter having emphatically said you are not. And yet they answer anyway. Clickety clickbait.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Wow. So angry about one that’s so lighthearted. Please don’t venture into any of the serious ones, you might fully implode with rage

  • River says:

    I’m a grower and agree with Valery North about the relative convenience. Yes, there is the problem of inevitable comparison at urinals, changing in group locker rooms, group showers, etc. More of a problem in the minds of the beholders in my opinion. When completely flaccid my cock is about the size of a plump grape with a small wrinkled tip of foreskin. Although it grows to over four times its flaccid size when fully erect, it still is under six inches long and a bit over four inches in circumference. It is interesting to watch the expression on the face of a new woman change from panic to surprise and amazement as she sees and feels the metamorphosis as it fills her hand. Her smile says, “Yeah, this is a nice one…we can work with this.”

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