Butt plugs for men: questions you don’t need to ask

Image by the brilliant Stuart F Taylor

Top of the list of ‘things I never expected to write’: butt plugs for men. Why? Well, because we all have butts, and the things which plug them will plug them the same no matter what your gender. In the course of my everyday life, I’d be as likely to utter the phrase ‘male butt plugs’ as I would to walk up to a Starbucks counter and order a ‘female caramel latte.’

And yet…

I get a tonne of search traffic to this blog with variations on that phrase: ‘male butt plugs’, ‘butt plugs for men’ and the like. So just in case you’re wondering: yes, men can use butt plugs too. And what’s more, if you’ve come here via search, I reckon there are more guys who use butt plugs than you think.

Perhaps because I’m a sex blogger, people have a habit of telling me things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. What’s more, I’ve always been pretty open with my partners (read: slaveringly excited to hear about their kinks), so the chances that they’ll give me delicious detail about their butt-plug-wank shenanigans are fairly high. Sure, I’m also probably going to move in more circles where men have experimented with butt play, but whatever: if you’re a dude who’s come to this page searching for ‘butt plugs for men’ then I want to do two things:

  1. Enlighten you
  2. Excite you.

Ready? OK, then let’s do what butt plugs never should, and get stuck in.

Can men use butt plugs?

Yes. Y. E. S. Or ‘hell yes’ if you prefer.

If I were inclined, I could rage on for hours about the frustrating ways in which society tries to put men off using sex toys – implying that masturbators like Fleshlight are shameful, for instance. Fewer people are asking the question ‘does using a butt plug affect my sexuality?’ because it’s the 21st century, and we all know that you cannot bum yourself gay. However, I have had guys ask me if using butt plugs on their own makes them ‘weird’ or if it’s the sort of thing they should be nervous about telling a female partner.

I’d love to answer that with ‘no, you absolutely shouldn’t be nervous about telling a partner’, however there are layers and layers of ingrained weirdness about sex toys in our society – anal ones in particular – so if you’re worried that a partner might think you odd, please do send them to this page. And if you’re a partner and you’re reading this, please take careful note of the next section:

Butt plug + man = holy shit I’ll be in my bunk

Watching a guy use a butt plug while he has a vigorous wank is… how can I put it? So hot it makes my eyes water. It’s distractingly sexy enough watching someone I fancy grip his cock in his fist and beat away like he’s trying to pull the damn thing off. But if you add a butt plug into the mix – the look of surprise and delight on his face when he slides it in with lubed-up fingers, or the way he’ll wriggle slightly to get it touching just the right spots? Yeah, damn. That is smoking hot.

Now, like all sexy things, this isn’t universal: it might not float your particular boat. But know this: as a general rule, if you’re a horny person, watching someone you fancy doing something they love will be a pretty awesome turn on. And if you cast aside the opportunity to watch your loved one (or just ‘fancied one’) having a wank with a butt plug just because of some residual fear that it’s icky, then I think you’re missing out. Think about embracing it, even if it’s just the one time – to see if it floats your boat. Not everyone likes ice cream, after all, but you might as well have a taste if the truck stops on your street.

Male butt plugs versus female butt plugs

They’re the same.

Butt plugs for men: sex tricks

OK, I’m going to tell you my two favourite butt plug sex tricks here, so please use them wisely and frequently, and enjoy the fuck out of them.

Tip the first: sex on a chair. Insert butt plug into guy (or get him to insert butt plug for himself if that’s easier) then place guy on comfortable chair. When he’s happy that the plug is sitting tightly and comfortably inside him, sit down hard on his cock and ride him like you’re about to win the pony trials.

Tip the second: missionary sex. Bear with me: missionary is much-maligned and actually a fucking brilliant position in which to shag. Take your male butt plug (again, remember that it’s the same as a female butt plug: they’re all the same) and insert it into your willing male. Then, start fucking in missionary position. While you’re in position, grab a belt, or a length of rope, or the tie that one of you wears to work, and thread it between his legs so that it runs down the crack of his arse. Can you see where this is going? Of course you can. With one end of the belt in each hand, you can tug gently (or hard – depending on what he’s up for) while he’s fucking you, so that not only do you hammer the strokes of his dick in harder, you also nudge the plug a little further in each time, giving him an exciting frisson of sensation.

And here’s a link if you’re done with the instruction manual, but you’d like to read a couple of butt plug sex stories in more lubed-up, dribbling detail.

You’re welcome.

Butt plugs for men vs butt plugs for women

They’re the same.

Different types of butt plug

I’ll level with you here: I’m not a sex toy expert. I just know what I like shoving in me, rubbing on me, or waving around in the air shouting ‘I AM THE GOD OF SEX.’ What I will tell you, though, is that all butt plugs should necessarily come with a flared base (so they don’t get lost in you), and that the best butt plug for you is one which is comfortable and sexy. Don’t just go for the biggest because you like a challenge – I have done this before and it ends in tears. You can read that word in two ways, I know.

Below are a few suggestions – they all go through my sponsor, SexToys, but other retailers are available of course. I’m mainly listing them out here to show you that there are loads of different types of butt plug on the market and none of them are explicitly gendered.

Butt plugs for gentlemen vs butt plugs for ladies

Again: they’re the same. Butt plugs have a lot in common with other enjoyable things, such as tea, wine, or Nutella:

  • You can put them in your body no matter what your gender.
  • Different people will enjoy them to different degrees.
  • They can make sex more interesting.
  • You can use them when you wank.
  • Once you’ve finished enjoying them, you have to do some washing up.

16 Comments

  • Boysub says:

    I, too, will be in my bunk. After raiding my sex toy drawer.

  • Yeouch! says:

    Can I be a terrible bore and suggest that not all butt plugs are unisex?
    At least I would assume (I know I know!) that while a lady could use an Aneros, they’re specifically designed to hit that particular spot for a gentleman.
    Especially with the smaller (thinner) ones; I shouldn’t think it would do a great deal for a lady – though if anyone has tried, do shout up! For science…

    • Girl on the net says:

      Well, that depends – genitals /= gender, and there are women with prostates as there are men without. Someone said this on Twitter too and I was a teeny bit annoyed, so maybe I’m just a bit sensitive about this, but realistically the way that searches work for this, it’s unlikely that people are specifically looking for prostate toys. What’s more, you can use those toys even if you’re a woman – it’s not the same experience without a prostate, but it does provide a marginally different (and therefore, naturally in my view) an interesting option. Basically – butts aren’t all the same, but all butt toys can be used no matter what your gender. =)

  • If you’re here looking into buttplugs I can highly recommend the Twist that GotN links to above. The ridges on it feel amazing going in and out.

    @Yeouch I think they’re still unisex, I found when I was starting my anal journey (and I’m still very close to the beginning) the smaller thinner ones were better as they went in easily but had enough room to be wiggled. Granted we don’t have the same P-spot that men do but we can still orgasm from anal…..or maybe that’s just me. Is it? Is it just me? Am I weird again?

  • josephine_kk says:

    Fab post :)

    If someone is reading this but wants a larger butt plug that vibrates, i highly recommend the Nexus Ace

  • rare deeds says:

    Nice.

    (although I’m still a bit confused – what’s the difference between a butt plug for men & one that’s for women?)

    For special wanks, I have a beautiful tapered, ridged, glass anal dildo. It’s fun to play with the rhythms of stroking my cock & sliding the glass dildo in & out…

    …but the real pleasure is pulling the dildo out as I’m coming – & constricting around the dildo at that very moment – its like an overwhelming double release – completely changes the orgasm – &, yeah, in midst of the moment, overwhelming is the best word I can think of to describe how it feels.

  • dguy says:

    Rare slip, but you left out the best butt plugs ever (njoytoys.com). Sitting in a serious corporate meeting with one in place is definitely empowering…

  • I don’t actually have a butt plug, but a variety of prostrate massagers. I just bought a glass one online and could not really judge the size, it is beautiful but huge, more of a dildo. I think I’ll save it for a lady friend. That Metal Worx Luv Plug looks interesting.

  • Azkyroth says:

    I have one question about butt plugs that isn’t covered here.

    Well, two.

    One, why do nearly all of them have (axially) tiny super short fucking necks?

    And where can I find one that doesn’t?

    • Girl on the net says:

      Good questions, although I can’t answer the first one. But Tantus do seem to do ones with longer necks – the Twist is, I think, a bit longer than average: http://www.sextoys.co.uk/tantus-twist-silicone-butt-plug.html and this little one too: http://www.sextoys.co.uk/tantus-little-flirt-silicone-butt-plug.html but yeah, the glass one I have is quite ‘short’ there, and it would probably be helpful to have this kind of info on the packaging too so people can work out which ones will be the best fit. I’ll ask around and see if there’s a reason for this, or if it’s something companies might consider labelling and highlighting. One of the things that I struggle with when it comes to butt plugs is ones where there isn’t enough differential between the neck and the fattest point inside. What I’m saying here is I’ve had a lot of butt plugs that’ll slip out – especially if I’m wearing them during sex. Maybe my ass is just not grippy enough, but smaller ones (like the little flirt one I linked above) just Will Not Do It for me, unless I keep a hand back there at all times to hold it in. Which is about as sexy as holding a spirit level while someone puts a shelf up.

  • I Just Wanna Be God says:

    “I have done this before and it ends in tears. You can read that word in two ways, I know.”

    Ha ha ha ha ha!!! That made me properly laugh out loud.

  • Nick says:

    I got the Lovehoney Butt Tingler for my first. Medium 😉
    All kinds of nice

  • Pluggedbttm says:

    Im male. Being plugged evokes a powerful and erotic sense of excitement and arousal, which is also very comforting. Like a child with his teddy bear, I love having my plug inside. Sexually, it ensures I am prepared to be fucked by very well hung cocks. While fuckjng a pussy….dear lord the orgasms are out of this world. It’s fun to sleep plugged, and go shopping plugged. I own a well-known business in my city and I get a very naughty thrill closing deals and meeting with prominent people including our leaders (mayor) while plugged the whole time, presenting myself as a “straight male.”

  • Crystal D Mahany says:

    Fun! We use it all the time

  • Luis says:

    Hi, i always use my buttplug but after some minutes it starts to feel uncomfortable (hurt a little) in the my butt cheaks, with the part thats left outside so it doesnt slide in. What should i do? Buy one that has a smaller part(the one that prevents the buttplug from going all the way in) or thats just the way it is? Or is it because of the ass hair? I want to know because i wolud like to wear it for long periods of time but i cant because of that uncomfortable peling in the butt cheaks

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