My cunt is sore, so fucking sore. I got fucked so hard that when I came home I shuddered each time I thought about it, although whether the shudders were caused by lustful memories or something else is a story for another fucking day. All you need to know for now is that my cunt was sore. And therefore perfectly placed to try out a new sex toy: a slim, soft, gentle dildo – the Avant D14 Heart of Gold – sold by Stuffgoodies, and perfectly designed to soothe my fucksore vagina while I reminisced about the excellent sex I had when I should almost certainly have been doing something else. Let’s do this.

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“I still read the blog sometimes,” my ex told me, then added in a quieter voice “you’ve been so kind.” I’m taken aback. I can’t quite work out what to say except ‘of course’, and then ‘you should probably stop reading soon.’ In that moment I think the greatest kindness I can do is warn him not to read tomorrow. I have no idea if this is appropriate, and later I’ll wonder if that was actually the worst thing I could do – like telling someone not to open a box, torturing their curiosity and making it inevitable that they’ll crack and look inside. This stuff is hard after a break-up. I have no idea what’s right. I have no idea what to say or where my words are or why my mouth is glue and sawdust. I still love him.

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The first time my heart was broken – and I say this with a fairly solid definition of what heartbreak feels like for me, and how it’s different to a simple, everyday hurt – it felt like the world was going to end. There was too much emotion to hold inside my fragile body, and it stayed for so long that I couldn’t conceive of the possibility that one day it wouldn’t be there any more. This heartbreak – puny and pathetic now I come to think about it – was caused by the wandering, horny eye of an eighteen-year-old boy.

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Today’s guest blog is by Miss Mae Ling (@missmaeling on Twitter and here on OnlyFans), and before we begin I need to let you know that it tackles head-on a topic that may be disturbing to many: rape. There are many different ways to heal after the trauma of rape, of which the following – engaging in consensual non-consent during kink play – is just one. This post details one woman’s experience in very personal detail, and I’m incredibly grateful to Mae Ling for sharing her experience here today.

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There’s this big house that I’m wandering around, and occasionally I stumble across people wanking in different rooms of it. It’s full of sofas, and cushions and huge-screen TVs. What’s playing on the telly is almost-porn: one of those films which features tits and fucking, but also just enough plot that you’re not quite sure if it was pitched as a broader release. I am horny as fuck, and I desperately need cock.

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