There’s a man who is half-human and half-legend. He is fierce, strong, powerful. He can pick you up with his bare hands, flip you over his knee, and give you a spanking so perfect that it will transport you to a new realm of ecstasy. Afterwards he will fuck you so skilfully that you will become aware of a new level of orgasmic joy.
That man is the Superdom.
If you’re lucky enough to meet him, it will probably be on a kink forum somewhere. Perhaps he will write a post explaining to other, lesser Doms how to control a submissive, hinting that if you’re lucky you could be one of them. Maybe he slides into your private messages with an order to “Obey.” If you don’t immediately slick your knickers/pop a huge, granite-hard boner, then you are probably not the submissive for him. He does not want your questions or your negotiation: he demands only your unquestioning obedience.
Superdom, sadly, is all too real. I met a fair few incarnations of him when I was pretty active on the kink scene. He’d look at you with smouldering eyes, and tell you exactly what he was going to do. He’d usually let you know that you could only come if he ordered you to, and that you’d come at exactly the moment he specified (yeah, right). He’d give you lists of punishments and tasks and insist on you calling him ‘Sir’, even if you’d never agreed to submit to him.
He was a dick.
He was also not alone – not by a long shot. In my time I have met many versions of this Superdom, and they are neither confined purely to men nor purely to kink. They are the people who will promise to blow your mind in bed, make grand statements about the kind of orgasms they deliver, and expect you to fall immediately at their feet, swooning in gratitude that they’ve deigned to decide to fuck you.
Are they actually good in bed? Well, it depends. The girl who promises that she gives the best blow jobs this side of Dallas may well turn out to be excellent. Sucking your dick in exactly the way you like, causing you to roll your eyes back in your head as you soak up the blissful sensations. Likewise, though, she might give exactly the kind of head you hate, and have you wincing slightly while trying to decide exactly how best to give blow job directions.
When I was younger – around University age, I reckon – I think I was one of these people. Youthful confidence and a desire to impress meant that I’d write some startlingly big cheques that my sexual skills could never hope to cash. I’ll be the best, the dirtiest, the horniest. I’ll give the sloppiest, choking blow jobs you have ever had in your life, then I will turn round and ride your cock like I’m at a rodeo, and you will jizz so powerfully and in such great volumes that you’ll require a drip to replenish the fluids.
I was not that good.
Don’t get me wrong, I had some pretty awesome sex, and I know that the guys I was with (on the whole) enjoyed it. But the problem wasn’t that I hadn’t mastered a specific set of skills, it was that I was promising things way before I understood exactly what the guys wanted me to promise.
Likewise with Superdom. Superdom says ‘submit’ and ‘obey’ before he knows exactly what kind of submission and obedience you’re into. He often – as I spotted in a series of blog posts by a self-appointed superdom recently – gives himself unusual names to differentiate his amazing skillz from those of other, lesser dominants. In the case of the series I read, he called himself a ‘Dominus’, whatever the blue fuck that is. Sometimes the phrase ‘alpha dom’ is bandied around, as if there’s a heirarchy and if you get a ‘gamma’ or a ‘theta’ dom you’ve been short changed.
As I say, I’m not immune from making these promises myself. I think we’ve probably all, at one point or another, overplayed our sexual prowess to a new partner in the hope that it will tempt them into bed. Problem is, though, that before you’ve had that first fuck – or the fifth, sixth or seventh, for that matter – you’ll never truly know exactly what someone likes. Before you’ve negotiated and experimented and discussed anything, you have no idea what counts as ‘good in bed’ for them.
In the case of the BJ queen, this translates into confusion and disappointment between the sheets. Superdom is an even worse prospect, though. If he’s lying or exaggerating (as he almost certainly is) then you’ll have a pretty crap time. If he genuinely believes what he says – that he can apply the same techniques to everyone and be assured of a universally excellent reception – then how much harder is it for you offer directions or make requests? How likely is he to listen when you tell him it’s not for you?