I find exercise for its own sake incredibly tedious. Running, cycling, picking up weights then putting them down again: I get why some people like it, but I’m not one of those people. Moving muscles for a purpose: picking up heavy boxes to move house, running for a bus, cycling because you just need to get somewhere – fine. But moving for the sake of moving isn’t something I’ve ever been excited about.
As with biceps, triceps and whatever ‘glutes’ are, same with kegels. The idea of doing special exercises to strengthen the muscles in my cunt leaves me a bit cold. I’m having a go right now as I write this, probably making odd quizzical faces and feeling glad I’m not in an open plan office, and the sensation I get from it can best be described as ‘meh.’
But during sex? Or a wank? That’s when those kegels really come into their own.
Squeezing during sex
There’s a really specific sensation that I associate with those muscles – it’s that moment just before I come, when my cunt starts to spasm and twitch. I think different people get this to different degrees – some twitches might be gentle, while others are harder. I’ve heard varying stories about the impact of kegel muscles on the strength of a squeeze: from people who swear that exercising the muscles gave them more intense orgasms to urban legends about people who could bring someone to orgasm just by squeezing really tight around someone’s cock. I don’t know if I can do that – like running 5 kilometres or climbing Kilimanjaro, it’s not something I’ve ever cared to try.
I can squeeze tight though – when a guy’s got his cock inside me it’s satisfying to clamp down – to hug it really tightly and feel every inch of the inside of me wrap around every inch of him.
I wouldn’t do it constantly – it’s not a cheap bodyhack, like sucking in my stomach, to superficially change something for the duration of a shag. It’s sporadic and surprising – I like to tense up at just the right moment, on an inward thrust as he’s picked up speed – surprising him with an enhanced, tighter sensation and hearing him catch a gasp in the back of his throat. Far more than that, though, the sensation is primarily a gift for me.
Someone asked me recently why I’ve never written about kegel muscles. To which my surprised answer was: I have, frequently. That deliberate clench (as opposed to the involuntary one that happens when I come) is part and parcel of almost every fuck I have. I probably do it more when I can’t move – if I’m being squashed or tied up, or ordered to stay stock-still while I’m fucked. As such, a lot of my stories end with ‘my cunt twitched round his dick’ or ‘squeezing tight to feel every inch of him.’ Perhaps this person just hadn’t noticed because I rarely make a meal of it in the context of giving pleasure to the guy I’m with. While I appreciate that the tense, squeezing sensation feels pretty good for the guy I’m with, it’s mostly a selfish gesture.
Think about it: while it might feel awesome on someone’s dick, there are corresponding nerve endings in the walls of my cunt too – nerves which thrill at that full-up, tight sensation. While it might have certain side-effects on a guy, I don’t tighten my kegel muscles purely as a sexual party trick or a means to push him over the edge – I do it for me. Because it feels really fucking good.
Squeezing during wanking (and an ode to my glass dildo)
And so we get to wanking. While the whole ‘clamping down on something’ feels spectacular during a shag, it’s something I’ve generally neglected when I’m wanking because… well… I’m not exactly the most adventurous wanker in the world. While I lust after a whole bunch of different sex toys, as a general rule my hand-shandies are casual, frequent, and last about as long as it takes for the kettle to boil.
Luckily, because of a pretty tricky challenge I took up at the beginning of lent – to avoid using any kind of vibration during a wank – I’ve been a bit more adventurous with my cunt-rummaging over the last month or so. To aid me in my adventures, I got something that I’ve coveted for a really long time: glass.
Shiny, pretty, solid-as-a-rock glass. No rumbles or vibrations, which are what I tend to rely on. Quick clit-rubbing, a few flash-frame scenes from a favourite fantasy, and I’m done. And along with my challenge to ditch vibrations for a while comes a more difficult aim – to spend a bit longer on things, and make sure that each wank is done for fun as well as function. Which makes a glass dildo a hell of a lot more interesting, because along with the easy jolts of pleasure that come from my clit, I get all the extra sensation of tightness – of being filled up and stretched – which adds to the waves that build to orgasm.
Trying this thing out on my own made me realise a key difference between the orgasms I have when I’m alone and those I have when I’m being fucked: clitoral orgasms might be more intense, but the ones which come with something to clamp down on generally last longer.
Five seconds, six seconds, longer – the time it takes from the first to the last wave either feels longer or is – I can’t quite tell which, because I’m too busy biting my bottom lip and holding tight on to whatever’s inside me.
Using those muscles to squeeze harder. To wring out those last few spasms of pleasure, as I’d wring out the last droplets of spunk.
Obviously I’m going to include a sponsor link in this one because I’ve banged on about this particular toy quite a bit – if you want to support my blog you can buy your own glass toys at SexToys.co.uk (use GOTN10 for 10% off), or from SheVibe if you’re in the US. This is the one I’ve got (US link), and it’s on sale at the moment and it’s fucking awesome.