I’m gonna make him ask for it

Image by the fabulous Stuart F Taylor

I am sitting with my toyboy on his exceptional sofa. This is a sofa designed for fucking, and I am visiting him this evening because I want to get fucked. We’ve talked about it over WhatsApp and I’ve been thinking about it on the train on the way here. What’s more, if he’s done as he’s been instructed then he’ll have edged himself at least once a day for the last few days in anticipation of me pulling down his PJs and riding him like a show pony. If anyone could be said to be ‘in there’, it is him. And yet for some reason he occasionally forgets how to use his words. Doesn’t understand that when you want a fuck you’re allowed to just ask for it. One of the aspects of domination that I’m really getting into is forcing encouraging him to voice his desires aloud. So I decide that I won’t let him get away with wordless pleading: if he wants a shag, I’m gonna make him ask for it.

Him: looks at me meaningfully
Me: looks back
Him: looks down at my body intently
Me: looks back
Him: gently touches his cock, purposefully, while looking at me
Me: looks back
Him: grips his cock while raising his eyebrows so he can heavily hint
Me: looks back
Him: starts rubbing his cock really quite vigorously while giving more soulful puppydog eyes
Me: leans in towards him so my lips are almost touching his, then smiles while looking directly into his eyes. Finally whispers… “Use your words, sweetheart.”
Him: (swiftly, while trembling with shame and nerves) “Please will you touch my dick?”

As someone who’s instinctively verbose, I sometimes find it strange when people try to embark on sex without a single word. But I really loved how this particular mini-drama played out in fuck-drenched silence, as you might be able to tell from the fact that I’m writing it. When this guy wants to bang me but doesn’t understand how to go about initiating, I find it simultaneously adorable and deeply hot – it’s reminiscent of teenage fumbles from decades ago, when boys would be doggedly determined that they wanted to get a hand up my jumper, yet convinced that it would be cheating if they voiced that desire aloud.

I wouldn’t advise this approach in general, of course: it’s shit for consent. Please don’t go randomly touching your dick and staring meaningfully at women just because GOTN said she liked it. I like it when it’s this guy because I already want to fuck him, and the tone and dynamic we’ve established is one where I’m in charge and he’s just my whimpering bitch.

What I want is to make you ask for it

If I’m being submissive, I love when men make me beg for it. Force me to say ‘please’ before giving me the dick, or tell me ‘you can do better than that‘ as I try to stammer out just how eager I am to get fucked. So imagine my delight when I realised that now I get to be the one who makes someone ask for it. Say ‘use your words’ with a playful/stern expression, and compel a man to say out loud that he really wants to fuck me.

If you’d asked me a year ago how dominant I was, I’d have told you maybe 5-10%. But these days I’m leaning in to that side of myself, nudging closer and closer to ‘switch’ each time I see this dude. In the past I’ve so often seen my own dominance as something I need to perform to please men. Nowadays I’m starting to embrace it as something that also pleases me.

I enjoy the cosy, warm feeling that I get from hanging out with a guy who behaves like an affectionate pet, burying his face in my tits as I stroke his hair and tell him he’s such a good boy. It’s glorious. And alongside that comfort is the power. Not the power to cause pain or make him fear me, but the power to make him do something very specific, that I’ve so often wished other guys would do a bit more often: tell me what they want. Articulate their desires. Say aloud that they’re horny and hard and desperate to get it in me.

Look me dead in the eye, open their mouths, and force themselves to form the actual, adorable words:

“Please will you touch my dick?”



  • doncologero says:

    Is it a dom thing or more like foreplay? Because with my partner, who is definitely not at all dom, me walking into the room and saying something like “Babe, I need to shove my cock down your throat” gets her instantly soaking wet.

    • Girl on the net says:

      I think as with all this stuff it depends on context and the people. For me, in this instance, it’s definitely a domme thing – it’s something I find it much easier to frame (and demand/request) from a dominant perspective, and one which I’m surprised (and disappointed in myself tbh) to realise I don’t do much unless I’m in a more powerful role. But the actual act itself, like all sex acts, can be done with any tone that works for the people involved.

  • Mosscat says:

    Great post. Ask because you want it,because you want my mouth, my cunt, my hands – my skills! The way you ask with stumbling words will get me every damn time.

  • This is lovely and fabulous, and a wonderful take on the gendered dynamics that can sometimes accompany dominance and submission, and the different ways people will show up within them. I found it incredibly hard at the outset to ask for what I wanted, to the point of suppressing my submissive desires for years and decades to avoid the potential for shame.

    But even where they are now being explored (wonderfully) there is still a reticence to use my words. One I’m learning to put aside, and to actually ask for what I want.

    I loved this from your perspective, both as what you want, and you assuring your expectation from the perspective of your dominance. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • Girl on the net says:

      Ah thank you so much SB! That’s such a lovely comment, and I really appreciate you joining in. I totally understand the desire to suppress desire to avoid shame, and I am glad that you’re able to start exploring this and articulating your desires aloud. I think it’s one of the coolest gifts you can give to a partner, to be really open with them about what you love and want, but it is so so hard most of the time – even *knowing* what we want is a difficult thing to get a handle on, let alone saying it aloud. So well done to you for taking some of those steps!

  • Leonardo says:

    The confidence is really sexy. Had to read this a few times. If a woman talks to me like that, best believe I’ll enjoy the best edging of my life.

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